I'm not alone

Chapter Four

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Chapter Four

Roel's POV 

I couldn't understand. I tried to find an explanation behind her behavior , but there was none. All day I was trying to concentrate on any word of professors on lectures, and I was lost in thought throughout conversations with my friends. I couldn't even understand why I was thinking about her.

I'd been attracted by her , and who wouldn't be . Only a day before I saw her for the first time, and I thought that I wouldn't see her anymore ,maybe I would cross paths with her on the school corridors,but nothing more. But fate had willed that her car was exactly the one I was blocking .It was a golden oppurtunity for me .

I wanted to know her more and maybe after a little sweet chat and some little flirting she would accept to have a coffee with me ,all the girlls did just that. Boy, was I wrong.

She was totally different. She was tought, severe , dark on herself, so distant , she was there right in front of me but it didn't feel like that.And that made her more attractive.

I spent a whole afternoon thinking about her ,I wouldn't stop, she couldn't ignore me like this , noone had ever resisted me like her .

And so all of this became a challenge to me.

But when I say her that weak in the morning ,I forgot everything for a moment ,I forgot that I was trying to approach her and know her better only to feed my ego, I just wanted to make her feel better ,to understand her and to stay close to her.

But  the same attitude ,again. And this time she wasn't that intriguing,had not been attractive as yesterday , that was the seal to end this madness .

I couldn't waste more time with her ,wouldn't become a clown going after a woman that didn't have even the slightest interest against me, and trying to ease the sadness of her  next refusal, I left her alone in her sorrow as she wished.

And I countinued to remind myself that that was it, but she wouldn't leave my mind even though I had given up.

Who was that girlay

I went out of the lecture ,more determined than ever to learn that.

Clara's POV

That Tuesday, I returned home late at night. I'd spent long hours at the library , lost on books.Several other students were also studying , sitting opposite to me, between reading exchanged words with each other, laughing . I didn't feel alone there.

After yesterday aternoon,I feared the shadow of loneliness that invade our house when mom and Stella were not there, I feared those suffocating feelings again. I felt safer. I closed the books only when the darkness had conquered the skies , I could see from the little window of the library the only star shinning in the dark, the clouds hadn't covered it yet.

When I entered the small apartment , I found my mom where I knew she would be, sitting in front of the television , focused on the news of the day. She looked at me for a little and than turned her whole attention to the small screen in front of her. I knew she wouldn't say anything before the news were finished , so I headed to my room.

But my legs became numb as I was standing before the slightly opened door across from my room. I rarely entered that room, but today something pushed me to push the door and enter that foreign territory. I closed the door behind me, the only light comming from the corridor desapeared leaving the room in complete darkness ,keeping out every noise.

Silence. The only thing I could hear was her slow rhythmic breathing.

Sonya was sleeping ,I couldn't see  but I felt her, I knew that if I switched the light on I would her in her sleep with her head under the thick quilt.

I always wanted a sister more than anything in the world ,and when I was little , with tears I prayed to mom and dad. Not only a sister, but for an eternal companion, for someone who would be always there for me,as I would be for her. We would spent londnights paying with dolls , I would give her all my toys that I never let anyone touch, my clothes, I would teach her every game I knew, we would go everywhere together, I would never leave her alone , I would never feel abandoned or left behind. I would tell her everything ,would hear her every story and than I would give her my advices when she'd needed me , as later in life she would give me her advices. We would share every secret , I would help her with school ,I would tell her that she was the best when she'd come to me after a a fight with her friends.

But Sonya was never a sister to me.

When  she was born I held her often in my arms when she was crying , but I never loved her as I thought I would do, because her presence in her world brought many waves of suffering upon us.

I held her tight in my arms to calm her, but as if she felt that I didn't love her there,she never stopped crying . Mom took her from me and calmed her down , as mothers only knew how to do it, but her eyes weren't shinning as before.

She never played with me, we never told each other about our days, our friends . For me , she was only a stranger who sleptin the rrom across from mine. I bent over and kissed her lightly. Than I came out rushing from that suffocating room , to find my mom sitting on my bed.

"I counted the pills"-without a smile "why didn't you tell me?" -she wanted to know.

"There was nothing to be worried about."

"Clara, speak to me."

"Nothing mom, I was tired from school , that is."

"Maybe you should leave medicine, it's for the best ."She knew that I would never listen to her about this, I would never leave that school, but she still insisted.

"No, I'm fine, okay?"

"If it happens again, call me ,please."-and than drew me in her arms.

In that moment I knew that she wasn't upset with me , she was just concerned for us.

--

A/N 

Surprise,surprise Roel's POV .

Everyone thinks that this story is the typical good girl who falls for the cheeky bad boy, but hold on, Roel is more than what you think and Clara? Yeah she may seem like a depressed goodie-goodie but give her a chance , it's only the beginning.

Just continue to read and it will get better ,and if you are confused ,don't worry you will learn everything hahahaha.

Love and hugs x Era