Barren Crossroads

Desperation

slept for at least another night.

She tore open another travel box of cereal, and smiled. She was being indulgent, but she told herself it was just to celebrate. She'd grab as much more as she could carry, and ration it carefully from then on. She'd found no medical supplies past the few cold capsules. She walked outside and hissed at the biting cold, and searched for the cleanest patch of snow she could find. She scooped some into her mouth, and then tossed in the cold capsules. She wasn't sure how well it would work, but figured it at least couldn't make things worse.

She swallowed, biting back a groan as the pills grated their way down her throat. She turned back to the gas station and gathered the bag of cereal. There wasn't much else, and she decided she'd need to see if she could locate any intact street signs, or some other way to figure out where she was. If she was in a larger city, there would be some sort of downtown, maybe a city hall building that could have information, even a library.
She pulled the hoodie she'd found tighter around herself, even though she knew it would do nothing to help. She blew hot air onto her fingers, and situated her backpack in the least agonizing position over her exhausted and sore muscles. Even then, as she stood getting ready, she thought about resting some more. It wasn't like she didn't have time. But she wasn't sure if Michael and Lilith were still okay, or how things were at the compound now that Jace knew she was gone.

She felt a sense of urgency, a hurried need that forced her stiff legs one in front of the other, and she started walking again. She tucked her hands under her armpits for some extra warmth and kept her head bowed against the chill.

As she walked, she tried to keep count. She tried to count seconds, to keep some semblance of time. She'd spent so much time thinking lately that she'd thought herself into circles, and she'd spent so much time hallucinating or day dreaming that she wasn't sure she trusted her mind much anymore.

That thought scattered away the seconds she'd been counting like the snowflakes in the wind. It disgusted her. Kaelie knew it was wrong, probably some sort of sin, but she'd liked it.

Kaelie liked being a Hunter.

She liked being more than- special, and if she let herself turn it over enough in her mind, better. She enjoyed that she was stronger, faster. She was able to see, hear, smell, even feel, more than any one else. She knew she was smart. Maybe not in the same things as Lilith, or Michael, or Sarah, or any of the others, but she was smarter than almost anyone else she'd ever met.

She'd been the strongest. The best. Elite. And it had made her feel powerful, capable. Something that people needed, even if they didn't necessarily want it. She was a threat and it made her feel good.
And then Jace came in, and he made her feel loved. And it wasn't that she didn't feel that way with her friends. But they'd all been raised together, been traumatized together, survived together. She figured that no matter what, they would have bonded, grown to love each other, depend on each other, require the other's survival for the continuation of their own.

Jace didn't have any of that. He was just there one day. And he loved her all on his own. Because of, or despite, everything that she'd done, everything that she'd become. He'd loved her because of the Hunter that she was.

But Kaelie wasn't that anymore. She figured she was still stronger than anyone normal- like Jace, or his dad. But she wasn't the strongest anymore. She wasn't the special one any more. She walked with a heavy limp, her eye was in tatters. She was not a Hunter, not really.

No one would ever see her as anything other than that, but she felt disgusted with herself- both for hating her weakness, and for being what she was. She knew that above all, that was why she was going after Jordan's lab, an the "cure" he said would be there. Even if it was fake, maybe even if it killed her once and for all, she could be free of this feeling of being more than and not enough.

She could stop hurting everyone around her. And she could stop worrying if she liked it a little too much sometimes. She could just be.

She looked up again, and saw that she'd made it quite a distance, and she had seemed to have moved into a more populated area- or at least somewhere that would have a lot of people, before everything. There were older buildings here, that kind that people generally thought about when they thought about downtown.

She still couldn't find a street sign that made sense, but as she crunched over the snow, she did smell something. Fire. Someone was nearby. Or they could be, she could be smelling something from quite a ways away. She turned in a slow circle, trying to find some smoke, or the flashing glance of a person.

For a moment, she didn't see anything, her good eye still a little hazy, and well, it was the only one she had. But then she did, ahead and slightly to the right, the thing greyish black curl of smoke that nearly blended into the chilly gray sky all around her.

She froze, wondering if they knew she was there, if they'd seen her already. She wondered if she'd have time to hide. They could be friendly, they could even tell her where she was. But if they were Hunters too, or if they recognized her from her little reign of terror, they'd kill her. Or at least, they'd try. She may not be able to fight off many Hunters alone, but Kaelie could still kill normals as easy as she breathed.

She listened, trying to hear breathing, movement, the sound of steps coming towards her. She didn't hear anything and wasn't sure if that made things better or worse. Still, if they had anything she could use, or if they could help her- she'd do what she needed to.

"Hello?" she said, and at first, it was nearly inaudible. She hadn't spoken in weeks, not since she'd left the compound. There'd been no point. Her voice was cracked and hoarse and it grated low in her throat. She swallowed a few times, and then tried again.

"Hello? Is someone there? I see smoke- I'm lost. I'm just trying to find my way back somewhere. I can maybe provide something for trade?"

Kaelie said the words a little mindlessly- she didn't have much to offer, and she would not give up her food. But she knew she needed to sound small, scared, and agreeable. There was silence for a few more beats of her heart. She'd nearly decided to just give up and locate the smoke and the people on her own and go from there, when she heard the smallest crunch- a footstep on the cold snow in front of her.

"Who are you?" demanded a gruff voice- she could make out the large blur of what she guessed was a man, standing a ways off, near where the smoke was.

She took a few steps forward, and raised her hands in front of her, in surrender. "I'm Ka- I'm Sarah. My name is Sarah. I'm really hurt and just trying to find my way home, to see if any of my family survived. Can you help?" She flinched inwardly as she told them her new fake name.

She wondered if Sarah would still love her now, even as she lied and used her name, even as she pretended to be her, all while she could still see the life flow out of her when she closed her eyes a little too long. 

"We don't trust outsiders. How do I know you aren't one of those freaks?" he shouted back. She couldn't tell him that she'd hear him even if he just spoke normally.

"How could I be? I can't see. Those bastards- they took my eye. Shattered my leg months ago. I can barely walk let alone attack anyone," Kaelie said again, still keeping her voice shrill and scared. She'd feel bad about being so manipulative later. She always did.

She heard some shuffling in the distance, and though they were a bit too far for her to hear exactly what they said when they spoke in hushed voices, she could tell he was arguing with someone- another man, and a girl. "Fine," came the same male voice finally. "Stay there. We'll come get you. You can rest. Then we can talk."

Kaelie smile inwardly. Finally, it seemed, her luck might turn. She stood still, trying to balance her weight more solidly over her good leg. The cold and the exertion had turned the other into a lead weight of numb and tingling nerves, and it would not hold her up for much longer.

It was quiet, save for the stifled sound of footsteps coming at her from a few different directions. They were slow at first, and then a little faster, and as Kaelie registered them fully sprinting at her, she lifted her arm to block her face, and tried to duck, planting her feet. It didn't work, her numb leg was dead under her and she crumpled. The blow to the side of her face, right next to her eye was the last thing she felt, the pain burned through her nerves and boiled around her brain, taking any more thoughts with it. And then she was out.

---

"You know, you're pretty pitiful without your little pet monster here to help you," Jace said in