Barren Crossroads

Go Alone Through Hell

Chapter 16

Put Me Back Together

Jace looked over at Lilith, her small face pinched in pain, and sighed. Michael had stalked back off after setting her down and growled something about looking for food. Jace couldn't hear him prowling around in the brush, but he didn't really expect to either. "Do you think we can get your pant leg up, or should I rip it?" he asked Lilith.

Her eyes were shut tight and she seemed to be taking long, deep breaths. "What?" she said, and Jace started to repeat himself, but she cut him off. "It won't go any higher. And the movement- I don't know if I can stomach it. You'll have to tear it."

Jace nodded and set about getting à few more things ready. Near by was à small patch of snow and he compacted à few of the cleanest handfuls he could, and set it on top of the back pack. Then he took one of the extra shirts in the pack and ripped it into strips. He found the one blade he'd managed to snatch from his rooms, and eyed the fire. He cringed, but it was likely that he'd have to cauterize her wound if the bleeding didn't at least slow. He wasn't sure how much mobility she'd even have, given how much the meat of her calf had been shredded.

He moved everything closer to Lilith and the fire, and then sat in front of her. "Sorry, in advance," he said, and then he grabbed her leg as carefully as he could and pulled it into his lap.

She yelped and then bit down on her lip when he looked up and winced. "Just do what you need to do. There's no way you can do anything without hurting me. I'll fucking live. Hurry it up, so we can take care of your shoulder."

The mention of it brought the hot, aching agony that radiated from the hole in his shoulder back to the forefront of his mind, and every movement of his arm made it worse. He still felt light headed and wasn't sure if it was from pain, shock, or blood loss. He too started taking deep breaths in through his mouth to try and clear his head. "You think we'll need to cauterize?" he asked, and Lilith blanched.

"Fucking Jesus Christ, I hadn't wanted to think of that, but yeah, probably," she whispered, and when Jace looked up, a tear glittered on her cheek. He looked away. He took his knife and tenderly cut away the leg of her pants, above her calf and below her knees. He set the blade of the knife in the fire to heat and then pulled the material away were some of the blood had dried it to her skin.

Lilith whined, and he tried to ignore the sound. He grabbed the snow he'd gathered and held it to the wound, until it melted and ran pink and he gently tried to clean the blood and grime away. He didn't know if they'd realistically be able to avoid an infection, but it was worth it to try. She hissed, and he hoped the snow was numbing her skin, just à little bit.

"Are you ready?" he asked after à couple minutes, and he picked the glowing red knife up out of the flames gingerly.

"No. Do it anyways."

Jace grit his own teeth, clenching his jaw until it ached and then he pressed one side of the blade to the hole and held it for several seconds. Lilith screamed around her fist that she'd shoved in her mouth and the smell of her burning flesh made Jace gag. Before he could talk himself out of it, he flipped the knife over and pressed it to the other side of the gunshot. Another scream wrenched it's way out of her throat.

Jace muttered apologies to her and put the knife back in the flames. He grabbed the strips of fabric he'd made of the short and started winding it around her calf. He'd stopped most of the bleeding by cauterizing the entry and exit wounds, but pieces of her calf had still been shredded, and were bleeding weakly. He wrapped the fabric tightly and tied it in à knot.

When he was done, he looked back up, and more tears shone in the fire. He pulled Lilith into his chest, and stroked his hand over her back. "I'm so fucking sorry, Lil. For the gun shot, for the cell, for what I had to say. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for making all of this happen."