The Proximation of Hello and Goodbye

41

The touch is so gentle on his cheeks, it feels like a whisper. He looks out in front of him to see Izuku on the other side with starry green eyes. He looks so perfect. "Kacchan, it's time to wake up."

His eyes open, hoping against all odds that Izuku will be there this time. Yet the only hand he's met with is his own against tear-stained cheeks and an empty side of his bed. He pulls the blankets tighter to his body, trying to feel any semblance of warmth similar to that of Izuku. It's been two years since the last time he saw him, and since he ultimately left the small town they'd met in.

After leaving the hospital in Tokyo, he went back to start packing his things but ended up crying through the night. The next morning as sunlight peeked through his curtains he simply willed himself to get out of bed. He only grabbed a few things, like the hoodie from his couch and one of Izuku's journals. He could buy new clothes when he got home. With that, he walked out of the house and went to Ena's apartment. It was there that he, Ena, and Akasuki said their goodbyes and promised to keep in touch before he left town, refusing to look back. Granted, he didn't leave before going to Izuku's old house in the hopes of catching a glimpse of him. All he was met with was an abandoned home, a for sale sign, and disappointment.

It would be months later when he was leaving the grocery store that he would see someone walking down the street that struck some resemblance to Izuku. He chased after them, calling out, only for the stranger to turn around with a confused expression. The confusion would quickly melt away in exchange for excitement. They were thrilled to be face to face with Pro Hero Dynamite, but Katsuki was left massively disappointed again.

Occurrences like that would happen often over the course of the last two years. He'd get his hopes up when at the local cafe or while on patrols. He'd look for Izuku anywhere and everywhere he went. It became an obsession. What if he just happens to be around? He's not looking for me, so I have to look for him. Otherwise, how will I see him again? How do I have any chance of knowing he's okay? His eyes would gloss over every face in the hopes of finding that one in a million with freckled cheeks and emerald eyes. It's only ever proven to be a constant application of salt to his wounds. He knew he needed to stop, but the thought scared him. What if I give up too soon?

What really did him in was the day he'd gotten into a fight with a pretty persistent villain. He'd heard somebody call out to him and he looked back to see someone who looked just like Izuku, but there was one thing that wasn't quite right. It distracted him, causing him to let the villain get the better of him. It was ultimately Eijiro that saved the day. He was the one that eliminated the threat and got Katsuki to the nearest hospital to have his injuries checked. They were nothing serious, but there was a point before he'd been treated where all he could hear was Izuku. "You're gonna be fine."

After that, he told himself he wouldn't continue looking for Izuku when he was in the middle of a fight. And from there, he just continued to set more boundaries. No more searching while on patrols. No more searching when going to meetings. No more searching when running errands. Until one day, without even realizing it, he stopped searching completely. Even so, he always thought about Izuku. It was just easier that way.

He'll always be blessed by the ghost of Izuku, but forever haunted by the ghost of what could have been.

He rolls onto his side at the sound of his phone going off and reaches for it. He doesn't bother checking the caller ID before pressing it against his ear. "Hello?"

"You're late!" Ena yells.

He groans, looking at the time. "Sorry. I was... distracted."

"Don't sweat it. I'm late too," she laughs. "Can you send me that address again, by the way? I lost it."