Lost Memories

CHAPTER SIX: STARTING

"Oh hapon napatawag ka?" Zues said the moment he answered the call.

His cheerful face became serious when he hear the voice on the other line.

"Asan ka ba ngayon, Kyosuke?" Tanong nito sa kausap.

"Nasa elevator ako. Papunta ako sa opisina ni Zia." He said.

"Gossiping." natatawa nitong sagot.

Ano kaya ang pinag-uusapan nila?

He put his phone on his pocket. Umiling-iling ito habang natatawa. It's like I'm seeing right now a cheerful and happy Zues. A better version of him. Tila kay sarap nitong tingnan habang tumatawa.

The elevator suddenly moved. It was like it's stucked! Fuck! Parehas na parehas to kanina habang nag-aaway kami ni Zues. What's happening? Am I hallucinating again?

Nataranta si Zues at paulit-ulit niyang pinipindot ang stop button. Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang braso niya pero tumagos lang ang kamay ko. Shit! Bakit ganito? Am I a ghost?!

Nagulat ako ng may biglang sumugod kay Zues. It was a girl! A girl who look like me! Fuck! Bakit kamukha ko siya?!

Sinugod niya si Zues gamit ang isang swiss knife at agad naman itong nasangga ni Zues. Tinulak niya ang babae at naguguluhang tiningnan ito. "What are you doing?" he asked in confusion.

The girl didn't answer him instead she give Zues a flying kick in face. "Ouch! Wag sa mukha!" Reklamo ni Zues. The girl just punch him in jaw and temple.

"Matulog ka muna." Malamig na saad ng babae habang tinitingnan ang puro pasa'ng mukha ni Zues.

"Hoy! Anong ginagawa mo?!" Tanong ko ng biglang nawala ang lahat. The scene in front of me vanished in just a second. It was like I came to reality.

"Why are you staring at me, Ms. Lacoste?!" Sigaw ni Zues kaya napakurap ako. Hindi ko siya pinansin at tumingin lang ako sa taas.

I felt dizzy. My head hurts. Napahawak ako sa ulo ko at napayuko. I closed my eyes. "No! I did daydream again! This fucking imaginations!" Sigaw ko at pinukpok ang ulo ko sa pader ng elevator. "Please be gone!" I shouted as my eye glasses fell down.

"Hey! What are you doing?! Stop hurting yourself!" Sigaw ni Zues at lumapit sakin. Inilagay niya ang kamay niya sa pader para masangga niya ang ulo ko.

Napahinto ako at umiyak. I've been suffering like this for past four years! Araw-araw at gabi-gabi, walang pinipiling oras. Sumusulpot ang mga imahe sa utak ko. Mga imahe kong saan nasa barko ako at nasasaksihan ang isang eksena. At ngayon nasa elevator kung saan kamukha ko mismo ang nasa imahinasyon ko. Fuck! I don't want this!

"When would it stop?! Ginagawa akong baliw ng mga memorya ko! Bwesit!" I shouted as I cried louder.

"H-hey Catrina!" Tawag ni Zues sa atensyon ko. I look at him and he is looking at me. Seryoso ang mukha niya at puno ng pawis. "Tama na, okay? I don't know what's happening to you but please, stop pressuring yourself." He said in a sincere tone. "Hush, Catrina."

I stop crying as I realize what scene I made in front of him. Shit! Did I just break down in front of my boss?! I need my medicine! Yes! I really need to take my medicine!

"I need to take my medicine." I said as I get my eye glasses on the floor and stand up. "Hey! May tao dito sa loob! Tulong! Please, palabasin niyo kami!" I shouted as I continue slamming my hands on the elevator's door. Natataranta na ako.

Nagulat ako ng biglang hawakan ni Zues ang braso ko. I stop slamming the door and stare at him. Iginiya niya ako paupo ulit sa pwesto ko kanina. "Relax, makakalabas rin tayo rito." He said as he inhaled.

Wala akong nagawa kundi ang tumunganga lang. Why does those images kept bothering me? Is that a lost memories? Or a hallucination?

"Are you scared being trapped?" Biglaang tanong ni Zues. I guess he is trying to make the atmosphere okay.

"No." I answered. Tumingin ito sakin kaya nagsalita ako ulit. "I have a mental health issue called maladaptive daydreaming. It is a serious mental health issue where a person daydreams excessively, sometimes for hours at a time. In short, I hallucinate and have delusions. Mine is a little bit severe dahil sumusulpot at inaatake ako palagi." I stare at the celling and laugh softly. "I guess iniisip mo na ngayon na baliw ako. Well, I don't know. Nalilito na rin ako kung saan sa memorya ko ang totoo o hindi."

Tumingin ako sa kanya and he was just staring at me like the usual. No emotions at all. "Am I fired now?" I asked him at kumunot lang ang noo nito. "Kasi di ko isinali sa medical records ko ang tungkol sa sakit ko so I assumed that you are firing me." I reason out.

"Tsk! Kahit naman naiinis ako sayo at ma-attitude ka na secretary ay hindi kita isi-sesante. I know you need this job. That's why I am telling you to do your best and I don't care about maladaptive daydreaming things. Hindi ko alam ang sakit na yun kaya wala akong pakialam. And lastly, I don't think you're crazy. Because you are just an attitude and hard headed secretary for me. So you must do your work efficiently dahil kapag di mo naayos ang trabaho mo ay pwedeng iyon ang maging dahilan kong bakit kita tatanggalin sa trabaho mo." He said as his eyes were telling me how serious he was.

I smiled. Tama nga ako. He was not that cold and emotionless at all. He has a heart. A heart who he was protecting from harm.

I am Ayla Catrina Lacoste, currently on a mission. I did break down in front of my target and he accepted me despite of my sickness.

Really different from others...