Alien on Earth: A Starseed Journal [Nonfiction]

Chapter 15: [TW] Trauma

Sorry I disappeared... I had a bit of a rough time this past week or so and I really needed to take some time to myself to reflect on it. The short version is that I was right to be worried about the party. The long version is pretty triggering, but I feel like writing about it will help me get it out of my system. And, be warned, it's extremelyyyyy long.

Huge trigger warning for this chapter- drugs will be discussed, as well as the ways creepy people use them to hurt people + attempted SA. If this is in any way something you can't handle, please stop reading. I debated if I should even post this chapter in the first place, but I really don't have an outlet to vent about it besides here. If you're uncomfortable at any time, stop reading.

That party I discussed not too many chapters ago? It turns out I was right to be worried about it, except it was for all the wrong reasons. The girl who hurts animals thankfully never even showed up, which I am super grateful for. I also didn't end up spilling any secrets about myself or being a starseed, so that's pretty cool too!

It turns out, I couldn't have predicted what the real problem would be, because it actually came in the form of someone who wasn't even invited to the party. I don't know his real name, so I'm calling him Creep, because that's what he is. Creep came to the party with one of my boyfriend's friends. I'd actually heard of him before through my boyfriend, who already didn't like him. Despite not liking him, though, my boyfriend let him stay because if he didn't, his friend wouldn't have a ride home. Everything was fine, for a bit.

As soon as one of my friends showed up, Creep gave her a drink. She doesn't really like drinking that much, so she only took a few sips before offering it to me instead. I accepted, but it was a lot, so I ended up splitting it with my boyfriend. Creep seemed briefly upset by this, but he was an annoying jerk, so I just assumed that was his personality.

Nothing seemed weird until I got up to get another drink. Creep seemed offended that I was trying to pour my own drink... like really offended. I didn't listen to him, though, and sat down with my drink for a bit before going to the bathroom... big mistake. After I left the bathroom, my drink was in a different spot. It seemed a tad bit fuller than I remembered too. I tried to tell someone about it, but I have really bad anxiety so a lot of people seemed to think I was overreacting. For a bit, I believed them, and decided to finish it.

The first sign that something wasn't okay was my boyfriend. He started feeling super sick, way sicker than what splitting one regular sized drink will make you feel. I rushed to help him, but I started feeling even sicker than he was!

My friend who refused the first drink came to help us, and that's when Creep stepped in. He kept trying to get her away from us, and telling her we were fine. He even tried to get her to take a drink from him, which she dumped out. He left and came back half an hour later and tried to take her somewhere, but stopped when he realized she was sober. He then tried to take me. He tried to make me walk, but I was super shaky and couldn't stand. He tried to sort of lift me up, but my friend stopped him. I remember him trying to hook his arm under my legs, but since I was super shaky he couldn't do it properly (thank goodness).

We called off the party for the rest of the night, and instead called over another one of my close friends and my mother. I was actually the one who tried to call them, but Creep took my phone away and hung up on them. At this point, I was in such a state of confusion that I couldn't dial them back because I couldn't move my hands well enough or see straight enough to use my phone. Thankfully, they still came over.

When they finally showed up, Creep tried to kick my mother out of her own house. My other friend threatened to kill him. My mom helped get me to a bathroom and had someone watch over me. Creep tried to get into the room I was in, but someone (who I'd later find out was my other friend's boyfriend) kept him away. At this time, my boyfriend had recovered well enough to be in the room with me and help keep Creep away too.

After that night, I was miserable for days on end. I've drank wayyyy more than that at times and never felt that bad. I was slowly piecing together bits of what happened that night. It was probably 2 or 3 days after the fact that I got the whole story.

Apparently, from what you could've guessed, Creep was putting stuff in the drinks. He originally went for my friend, but since she doesn't like drinking she gave me & my boyfriend the drink instead. Creep was upset because we were the ones getting drugged instead of his original target. I guess he eventually decided to go after me as well, since people at the party said he did indeed move my second drink (but at the time they thought that it was actually his).

I remember complaining to my boyfriend that I was annoyed by Creep continually trying to move us & make us walk, to which my boyfriend revealed he actually only did that to me and my friend, not him, despite him being sick too. My friend and I are AFAB, and very small people, so we think he had... other intentions... and just picked the smallest targets he could find. When going after my friend didn't work, he went after me.

My boyfriend was beyond pissed. Creep lives 2 hours away and my boyfriend doesn't have a car right now but he was still making plans to go fight him (which I am not going to let happen, because the last thing I need is having him get arrested). He also contacted all of Creep's friends and told them what he tried to do, and every single one of them dropped him. He wanted to tell the police at first, too, but since so many of us at the party were under 21 we decided it's probably a bad idea.

As for me, I'm doing a little bit better now although I'm still pretty shaken up. According to my friend, it looked like I might've had a seizure or something. Even though it was over a week ago, my brain is still pretty fried and I've been thrown right back into the depressive episode that I tried so desperately to claw my way out of. I'll try to update whenever I can, but just know that they might be less frequent as I heal from what happened.

That's pretty much it! I hope that clears up why I've been gone, and again, I am so, so, so sorry for being inactive. I promise I'll try to start writing more but right now I need to put my mental health first.