a endless cycle - yn x mattheo riddle x tom riddle

chapter 3 - drowning in silence

TW: death, mentions of insufferable pain, alcohol 

Y/N's pov:

I don't remember much after coming back to my dorm. My memory was blurry past the incident with Mattheo. I looked over to focus my vision on the firewhiskey bottle by my nightstand. That explains my hazy memory. I really hope I was asleep when everyone came in last night. I have a reputation for slurring topics. I think I hate drunk conversation because I am one to believe drunk words are sober thoughts. Only god knows what I would confess. I caught myself lurking around the room past the mess that appeared overnight. I looked over to see Tom in bed, Kate on the floor with her phone blowing up, yet I couldn't find Pansy. I decided to use this as a chance to shower. I walked to the bathroom catching a glance at myself in the mirror. Quite a jumpscare if I do say so myself. Smudged mascara, frizzy hair, and drool on the corners of my mouth. Taking my thumb, I cleared the surroundings of my mouth. I attempted to brush out the knots in my hair. "gosh dang it." I mumbled. I heard rustling in the shower. I pulled back the curtain to see no other than Pansy and Theo. Theo was leaning against the wall with pansy next to him. They must have come in here to talk earlier. I woke Pansy up, helping her to find her bed. Once she was safe, I went back for Theo. I woke Theo up nudging his shoulder. "Hey Theo love, I need you to get up." He groaned eventually getting up with my assistance. "Morning Tav" he mumbled. "Morning Theo. How did you sleep?" I chuckled a bit. "Great." He sighed. I went back to brushing my hair (adding more knots than before). Theo brushed his teeth and washed his face while I continued struggling. He chuckled before grabbing the brush, gently untangling it. I looked at him from the mirror reflection. He was so concentrated. I tilted my head to the side a bit. My face contained nothing but eyes full of curiosity. No one had ever been so gentle with me. If I wasn't passed around, what was I good for? ~time skip around 30 minutes~

Y/N's pov:

I decided I looked presentable enough for the public eye. I stared myself down in the mirror. I'm surprised it didn't crack from the tension. I never like how I looked, especially compared to everyone else. My chest was too flat, my legs rubbed against one another, my knees looked funny, my arms were thick, my cheeks were chubby, my gluteus maximus looked flat, and to top it all off I had freckles aligning my nose and cheeks. Don't get me wrong there are some parts of myself I like such as my hands and hair. My hair didn't have split ends nor dead lost strands. It was soft and naturallu curly, even when I attempted to straighten it. Snapping myself out of the haze I dug myself into, I walked out of the dorm. I arrived at the common room arche before walking in. I soon realised I was the last one out. We all decided to go to hogsmaed since it was only saturday. It's uncommon for everyone to agree especially when it was something on the weekend. Mattheo and Tom decided to take up the invite draco gave them. Mattheo and Tom were in the corner talking about god knows what. Kate and Draco were laughing. Odd. Pansy, Theo, and Enzo were all playing go fish. Enzo kept getting frustrated everytime he had to pick up a card. Pansy was the best at this game although Theo would never let her share that information as he was one to think he played at the best capability. "Go fish Lorenzo Berkshire!" Pansy exclaimed earning a glare from Enzo and a wheeze from Theo. Cards were going everywhere. It seemed as if everytime Enzo would pick one up, one would fall. "I'm done. Someone can have my hand." Enzo nugged at Theo. Pansy rolled her eyes. "I'll play" I walked up behind the two boys smiling. "Tav!" Theo said moving Enzo over so I could sit down. "Why thank you kind sir" I said bowing before taking my seat. Let's just say a certain someone has a major staring problem. I looked over to make eye contact with Mattheo. He had been starring daggers into Theo's head. Mind reading. Well played Mattheo, well played. I cleared my throat looking at Mattheo who now focused on me. I shut my mind out to anyone and everyone. No going into my mind. It was quite truly a scary place in there. The way I thought about myself. What I would give to be enough. "I think were ready to go" Kate said looking for an reply. "I agree. If we wait another minute I might just eat Theo's horse." I said with a light chuckle. Theo gasped putting a hand over his heart. "No you wouldn't! Not my Betsy!" Enzo played along walking over to Theo holding his head. "I know Theo. I know. Betsy was a good horse." Everyone laughed. I sighed getting up. "I'm just gonna go grab my bag. I'll be right back!" I said. "Okay hurry up!" Draco shouted just reaching my earshot. "Nope. I'm gonna make you wait!" I giggled.

Third person pov:

Octavia had set her phone down on the couch when she had arrived there only to accidentally keep it there when she left. Everyone started to gather waiting for the girl to get back. Her phone was blowing up. It caught everyones attention. They glared at the cracked screen. That girl couldn't keep a perfect phone if her life depended on it. Pansy walked over reaching for her phone to see the name, "St. Bernard Hospital" everyone's glare dropped. Kate came over answering the phone. "Hello?" She trembled. "Hello, is this Octavia Lestrange?" The woman on the other end asked. "It is. How may I help you?" Everyone looked up at her. Her expression dropped. Her face went pale. She dropped the phone. Pansy picked it up to see no one on the other line anymore. Oh crap. Octavia came out of her dorm looking behind her. "Okay guys I think-" she cut herself off looking at all the pity glares infront of her. "Guys?" Worry filled her head. She didn't let them hear the fear in her voice. Pansy walked closer to her. She reached for her now cold shaking fingers. Octavia looked down at the contact. She refocused her gaze on Pansy. "Tav we need to tell you something." She mumbled with a shaky voice. Octavia looked behind her at everyone else trying to get a slight amount of emotion from someone. One gaze in particular caught her attention. Draco Malfoy. He was shocked. His face pale with wide eyes. "What. What is it?" The lestrange girl blurted out. "Tav I think you should have a seat." Enzo suggested. She shook her head. "No. I want to know why all of you look like you've just survived war." She chuckled slightly trying to lighten the mood. "Tav. Its your brother." Her eyes widened as she shook her head. There weren't many things that Octavia found herself speechless at. But her brother? The person she looked forward to seeing on breaks and in between school years. Her protector. Her other half. The reason her world kept spinning. When they were just kids and their parents would argue, drunken ofcourse, he would hold her hands reassuring her it was okay. Her eyes threatened to let tears slip. "He got into a bad acciden-" Octavia cut her off, "I don't need the details. Dead is dead and the explination wont bring him back." She just stood there. She was used to people dying but him. He couldn't die on her. When they were just kids he took an oath to never leave her until the day they died. Her eyes stinged. Her breathing fastened. Her world being torn apart to the molten core. There was no point in waiting for the sun to rise anymore. No point in baking, watching the stars, watching gordon ramsey. No point in being here anymore. She looked around at the blurry surroundings before letting her hand drop back to her side, walking away. She wasn't alone. The group followed a distance further from her steps. Draco needed to hug her. He needed to sit in the silence with her. He needed to be there. When she had panic attacks Draco could calm her down. Ofcourse she was used to it by now. Being passed around death eaters would make you the same. Out of all times, why now. Right after her birthday. That was her last straw. She was done with drowning in her own head, suffocating all those lonely nights. She started drinking as a coping mechanism. It didn't help the overall problem but it did take away the pain for a bit. She wanted to go see her brother. She wanted him to be alive. With her. She wanted him with her. 

--------------------------------------------------------------

sorry its short i just wanted to get something published!

thank you and have a great day! stay safe! <33