a endless cycle - yn x mattheo riddle x tom riddle

chapter 7 - unforgivable

TW: mentions numbness, loss, and miscarriage

Third-person pov:

Miscarriage. Something no one wants to experience. The word makes you sick. The look, the spelling, the sound. All of it comes back to grief. After all, growing a baby for nine months after working so hard to get it here just to lose it in a split second.

Y/N's pov:

I have been to several funerals, but nothing compares to this. We were told the baby was healthy and now he is lying here, lifeless. Mattheo, Kate, Pansy, and Enzo are in the room. Fortunately, Stilas will at least be able to meet his grandparents now. My cheeks were tear-stained with mascara running down my face. I couldn't wrap my head around it. My baby boy is dead. Born still, not breathing. Not moving. Just stiff. Everyone was silent. No breathing in, nothing out. It felt like hell.

Mattheo's pov:

She was unreachable, in her own world - her mind. He was gone and she thought it was her fault. I can't do anything but hold her right here, in this moment. I wanted so badly to swim to the other side, but we were drowning. He was gone and there was no way I can lose her too. Stilas is his name. She was fond of the name and I loved that. Currently, she was staring into space, holding the numb body in her arms. I looked around the room Enzo, Pansy, and Kate were all shocked. I could tell they wanted to hold him. They wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay. They just wanted today to go away.

Y/N's pov:

Empty. I was hollow, nothing happened. I wanted to yell and scream and fight everyone in this damn world yet I didn't. I was stuck in this moment and I hated it. I wanted to get out, escape. I wanted to breathe air and run around. I just wanted to hold my baby for a few more minutes. His face was so peaceful - like he was sleeping. He didn't cry or move. He just laid there in my arms, his little fingers. I wish he could wrap them around my finger while we all take turns holding him. "I don't get it, he was alive a couple of days ago." I was now crying with every word I spoke. "He was supposed to come home, with us." Mattheo rubbed Stilas's head with his thumb. He was now crying. Enzo rushed over to us, cautiously sliding into bed beside me, throwing his arms around me. He settled his head against mine, crying. Pansy and Kate sat at the end of the bed staring at Stilas. Tom, Draco, and Theo were all in the waiting room clueless. They were expecting a baby yet they're getting nothing. "I wanted him to go home.." I let out a shaky breath. "I want him to know me, recognize my voice. I wanted to see him get excited every time I pick him up from daycare. I wanted to make him food. We were going to watch movies and have tickle fights. He was going to cry and throw tantrums and I would tell him how it would all be okay. I just wanted him to be here."

Third-person pov:

They were all getting ready to leave. The doctors took the baby from Octavia's imprinted arms. It was his imprint and if she could hold him forever, she would. Mattheo was helping Octvia to the waiting room. She didn't blink or inhale. "Wait." Octavia paused turning around. "I can't, I'm not ready yet." Mattheo turned around stabling her. She looked around the room, crying. She smiled. "Look, it's his blankie." She walked over stuffing the item in her bag. "I really hope in some wacky universe we can meet again, Stilas. Mommy loves you, baby. Merry Christmas Love." Pansy and Kate walked out first, followed by Mattheo and Octavia. Enzo was the last one out, looking back at the room. "Thank you for making me your uncle, little guy." And they were off to the waiting room. They all walked to the lobby where Theo, Draco, and Tom were all waiting. They all jumped up when they saw them. Tom was the first to notice. His eyes trailed from Octavia to her hands, then to Matteo. "No, he isn't." Tom shuddered at the thought. "What?" Theo asked now concerned. "Where is Stilas?" Octavia was holding back tears. It all came rushing back so urgently. "He was born still and the doctors couldn't do anything about it," Octavia paused swallowing the lump in her throat. "He isn't here and no matter what I do he can't come back...I failed and I don't know what to do. No dosage or prescription will help with the pain or the numbness inside me." Draco grabbed Octavia, pulling her to him. Draco grabbed the bag she was carrying. The two of them walked out of the hospital, leaving the rest of them standing there. It was raining when they walked out. Draco took off his jacket - holding it above Octavia's head. He helped her to the car - buckling her in. He ran to the other side laying the bag in the back on top of Stilas's car seat that Draco bought him. He walked to the front seat, got in, and started the car.

Draco's pov:

She needed to get out of this awful building. 'HELP' was practically written all over her face. Mattheo informed everyone about the past eight hours. I couldn't take it anymore - seeing her so numb and stiff, broke me. I impulsively grabbed her arm, helping her to the car. I sat her bag in Stilas's seat. I stared at the empty seat in the back of my car - what I would give to have him in there. We backed out of the hospital. I lay my hand on hers - squeezing it occasionally. I decided to text the group so they knew I wasn't kidnapping Tav. 'I'm taking tav back to school.' Third-person pov:The process of loss is extremely difficult - especially your own kid. Octavia and Stilas were connected. Something about him healed Octavia - alive or not. The nine excruciating months changed Octavia, showing her there was good in the world and she could produce it. She was gone - lost.

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hey loves!

If anyone is struggling with mental health, even loss, please don't hesitate to reach out!im always here!

hope you guys enjoyed it!

as always, lemme know of any ideas or feedback! <33

get lots of rest and eat plenty of food (you deserve it)

love you all and happy holidays! <33