Fate's Revenge (Twisted Fate, Book 4)

Chapter Twenty-Four

"The Brothers told me that's what you've said," Lachesis deadpanned, "but you forget how well I know you. How well I know every soul, really." She shook her head. "You don't have it in you to refuse to lead the students, not when it means there's nobody to help them."

I leaned forward, placing my elbows on the table and smiled. We'd gone back to the kitchen once I'd had an hour of sleep. "Who said anything about not helping the students? I said I wouldn't help you or the Brothers if somebody doesn't start reciprocating the effort."

"So, you will lead them?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Haven't I already begun?" Leaning back in my chair, I crossed my arms and shrugged. "Just because I've resigned myself to helping them doesn't mean it'll help you. Ask the Brothers since y'all seem so open with each other, but if I don't get what I want, I'll go out of my way to ensure none of you are happy with what 'we' do."

"Refusing to do—"

"We won't refuse. We'll do things, but only if it actively goes against whatever your current goal may be. I mean, if we don't know what's going on, we have no idea the consequences of stopping you. Sin can only become a factor if I do something knowing it will end badly or someone may be hurt, right?"

"Everything we do is for the good."

"Oh? And would that be the greater good...?" I pointed at her, slowly raising my arm. "Or what benefits you most?"

She opened her mouth and then closed it, the corners pinching with a frown. Her silence told me a lot, none of which was good, but it made sense. If I were Fate—no. I could never abuse a power when lives were at risk. To lose one to save many, maybe, but to sacrifice so many for the sake of one?

I don't know what—or who—would have enough power to sway me into doing something like that.

"You had to live."

"So then why did you make sure I had to die? That is what happened, isn't it?"

Lachesis looked at me without flinching, holding my gaze so that it was impossible to look away without somehow admitting weakness. She could take a lot, but that was something only I could give. For whatever it was worth, I think she understood that.

She sighed and raised her eyes as if to say, "When then." Smiling would be too obvious, but it felt good to gain a point against Fate, like it helped regain a destiny all my own.

"Your death was our doing," she said, nodding. She looked down to the table and then back. "Has it not occurred to you that that was for a reason? A good one?"

"Oh, you all say it happened for a reason. Everything happens for a reason, right? I want to know specifics. You don't kill someone—or in this case set Death in motion and sit back while others clean up after you—without explaining it."

"I can't explain it. You have to realize it on your own."

I leaned forward, leaning my weight on my arms so that I could meet her gaze once more. Without blinking, I said, "That's. Not. Good. Enough."

"It's all I can tell you."

"Then you can find someone else to help you," I said, and sighed. Resting back against the chair, I crossed my arms and shrugged. "I won't do something I don't get to understand."

"Close your eyes."

"Excuse me?" I blinked. Was she serious?

"I can't explain why you had to live," she said, and just before I blasted her for repeating herself and wasting my time, she continued, "If you close your eyes, I can help you to see what would happen if you died. That will prove to you that what you're needed for is for the better."

"No. It proves only that my death would have led to something bad. It shows me nothing about what is expected of me."

"You don't want to see?"

"I didn't..." I shook my head. "I didn't say that."

Learning everything I could was the goal. If Lachesis wanted to start at the beginning, maybe that was a good thing. So far, I had been left knowing only what I experienced aside from what little I had learnt at Hell's Fire. That helped with what I was. There was nothing about the why. Letting Lachesis show me this would give me a foundation to build on. Maybe I would learn enough by letting her show me this to be able to discover the rest 'on my own', just as she said was required. Why does it have to be so cloak-and-dagger? Leaders were supposed to be given information and make decisions, not scrounge for scraps of knowledge and hope they get it right when it counts.

I shifted in my chair. "So, you want to show me how the world would have been if I died."

"Yes."

"How? You have what? A crystal ball?" I rolled my eyes and then looked around. "Okay, so where is it?"

"I don't have a crystal ball. If you close your eyes, I'll show you."

"Like, in my mind?"

She shrugged. "Is that weird to you? You read thoughts. Your friend has visions. It isn't a foreign concept, surely, that I could show you something in your mind."

"Using Suzie won't help you get what you want after what she's done."

"It was appropriate." She cocked her head and studied me. "Why does this seem weird to you?"

"I'm just not comfortable with you digging around in my head, okay? As it is, you people have taken away my privacy."

"I won't read your mind."

"You expect me to believe you can show me something in my head, but that you can't read my thoughts? Right. I can't lie, but even I could do better than that."

Lachesis raised her eyes and the corner of one side of her mouth lifted in an almost-smile. "Oh, I can read them. I'm just promising that I won't. At least, not right now."

"But you have? Or you plan to?"

"Why do you think I offered to show you what would have happened had you been allowed to die? I know you're serious about refusing to help if you don't understand what's happened. You won't refuse the students, mind you, but you'll make my life extremely uncomfortable."

"I know what's happened—I lived it!" I leaned forward and slapped my palms against the top of the kitchen table. "Tell me why."

"Do want to see or not?"

I sighed and sat back. What good was arguing? She'd give up only what was necessary. If Lachesis really had read my mind, she would know how much I wanted this. How much I needed anything she was willing to provide. She might sound unsure, but she wasn't. We both knew that, and it was useless to argue with her until I had something of merit to use as a defense. I must play their game until I get what I need, if I ever do.

Lachesis stared back at me, unblinking, and the silence stretched into minutes

Resigned, I finally said, "Fine. Show me."