False God

Chapter One

Two-time world champion, I can hardly believe I did it again, that I won without all the drama of last year, it's like I can breathe again, winning last year didn't take a weight off my shoulders, it just added double the weight, I needed to prove myself this year and I did, I did exactly what my father trained me to do. But better, I feel I did better, for the first time I feel that where I am now is by my merits, my efforts, not him, no, today I will celebrate for me, for my team, for Checo, for my mother, my sister, my nephews, my cats, my friends and...

-Charles!!- I say seeing Charles looking in on the champion's room. My room.

-Maaax, congratulations again mate, you deserve it, you were simply unstoppable this year. - He said while hugging me.

- Thanks mate, seriously, I wish I could have fought you more on the track this year, the few battles we had were amazing, I hope Ferrari treats you and Carlos decently next year. - I say truthfully as I walk away. He gives me a smile and leaves me alone.

Although I don't want to repeat the drama of last season, I would like more duels in this one, I know I would never have the mind games of last year with Charles, we have known each other since we were five years old and we can say that all the animosity that was once between us is long in the past, he is my best friend and although we know how to separate our personal life from the paddock, we always respect each other as drivers. Besides, he knows what hell it was like last year, Charles got tired of seeing me exhausted on his doorstep at night after having panic attacks and not being able to sleep, he never made me talk just let me in and hugged me while telling me that everything was going to be okay and that he would always be there for me. It has always been easy with Charles, he knows me like no one else and is also a driver, so he understands all the pressure that this involves.

- It's lonely here. -I tell no one and leave the room to be with Checo and Charles, I don't want to be alone, I've been alone too much already.

The moment I get to the room they call us for the podium ceremony and when I get there the chips really fall and all the ecstasy that was taken away from me by the previous confusing announcement comes out and all I feel is a thrill when I look down and see my teammates, the ones who have worked hard all season long to give me a good car, good strategies. When I look down, I see my family, my redbull family, and I can't help but get emotional. When I look to the sides I see the best scenario for my podium, my best friend and my team partner who is also a great friend. All I can do now is smile, genuinely, when I lift my trophy today I can't help but feel light-hearted, it's something new for me this feeling associated with this sport. I want to feel like this more often, I want to feel like this always, light and happy.

When the whole team stops and watches the last lap of the race, I can't help but give Checo another hug.

-Checo you are a legend! Thanks for being such a great teammate, I wouldn't have won these championships if it wasn't for you, now let's take the other trophy to our family.

- Thanks mate, I can't wait to get the other trophy, I feel that we failed last year and this year it is just a matter of time for it to be ours. I'm glad you won Max, you deserve it. - He says while pulling me into another hug.

After all the photos it's time for the press and getting there several drivers come to greet me, I thank them all, but no doubt I'm anxious to talk to my closest friends and the first of them appears while I'm in the interview. Lando.

- Max dude, congrats! - Lando says and we hug. But I hear the interviewer speak.

- You're friends again.

- We'll always be friends. - I say, trying to dispel once and for all the narrative that our friendship is strained.

- Yeah, I just hated Max yesterday. - Lando says smiling and leaves while I finish my interview.

Of my few real friends in the paddock, Lando is one of them, he has this fantastic energy and always cheers me up. I will never let the media do to us what they did to Daniel and me, but I am lucky that underneath that smile and stupid jokes Daniel is quite wise, it helped that he is older than me obviously, if it wasn't for him our friendship would probably have been ruined by all the drama not only of the media, but everything that surrounded his leaving Red Bull. I will miss him, it will be strange not being able to get away for a while in the middle of the crazy days in the paddock to talk to him. But he will always be part of my life, whether he is in Formula One or not, he is family, just like Charles, Lando, Checo, and Fernando. And it is the last one that I meet now.

- Max Verstappen Two-time World Champion!! - Fernando says and hugs me.

This hug is one of the most awaited for me, my favorite pilot and now my friend, and also a two-time champion, as I am now. He always supported me, gave me advice, and always cheered for me.

-Thanks mate. - I tell him smiling.

- I am sure you will not stop in two, you are a force of nature Max, you will break more records I am sure... - And before he could continue another person comes to talk to me.

-Hey Max, congratulations mate, it was a great year. - Lewis says while we shake hands.

For a second I freeze, it is still strange, even though we have been greeting each other throughout this season it is still different when he takes my hand and speaks these words to me.

-Thanks mate!

I'm wondering if they are true. Well, certainly the ones he told me last year are not. But I can't think much more about it as he smiles and walks away, and Fernando pulls me in to finish our conversation.

When I return to my room before the party to celebrate my title, I sit on the floor as I look through my bedroom windows at the dark Suzuka sky. I think about my father, he's not here today, he hasn't been around much this season anyway, I've already given him what he wanted, a championship, my first, the trophy is with him, just like the one for my first victory in formula 1, it's like a constant reminder that he is the reason for my success in the category. I didn't make a big deal about keeping my first trophy, giving it to my dad is like I won my freedom, like he could let me breathe. The universe laughs at me at that moment because when I pick up my cell phone to answer messages from my mother and sister a message from him arrives.

"Congratulations, I can't wait for your third championship next year"

It's never enough, I never was, I wonder if one day I will be.

I remember Jenna, my therapist, after last year there was no way I wouldn't seek out a psychologist, plus Charles practically dragged me into his office. Jenna and I talk a lot about my father, there's no getting away from it, he is the cause of a lot of good and bad things in my life and for a long time I only focused on the good and neglected the bad and that always hurt me. Jenna once asked me if I was proud of the championship and I responded by saying that it was nice for a moment to see pride in my father's eyes, when Jenna looked at me, I finally understood. When I got home that day I sat in the living room and stared for hours at the empty space where my trophy should be. Empty. The place and me.

Before bad feelings get in the way of my evening a message from Daniel about the party arrives and I take it as my cue to take a shower and leave.