False God

Chapter nineteen

Author's note: Second and last part of the chapter about 2021, In this chapter we will have the description of some points that have already been mentioned before.

I'm sorry if there's something wrong. I hope you enjoy 🧡

...

September 30, 2021

Max POV

Happy Birthday to me. Sitting in the dark of my living room, alone and with a bottle of gin that is half gone, maybe not so alone, my cats are by my side right now and I can say that they are holding the rest of my mental health at the moment. Ferrari have forced Charles to be in Maranello right now, and the only reason I'm not in Milton Keynes is because Christian gave me a day off because of my birthday, so I guess there's no one here to stop me from screwing up, or at least help me pick up my pieces. My mom called me and as I listened to her tears came down, but I didn't say anything, I just thanked her, but wanting to scream and ask for help, Vic sent me a picture of Luka wearing an outfit with my name on it, and a lovely text, at that moment I couldn't talk anymore without revealing how much I was crying, so I typed something about her being the best sister in the world.

The discrepancy between last year and now is so glaring that it makes me want to pierce my ears, the stupid wish of last year slipped through my fingers cruelly, I remember the 23 kisses I won and think of the 24 that I missed today, there are no cupcakes this time, there is not even something sweet in this apartment, everything is as bitter as this gin. The icing on the imaginary cake is the Sochi GP, I lost the lead again, technically it was a good recovery race, P20 to P2, but it's not enough, it's never enough. The bottle is almost finished so I know that now is the time to leave home, hopefully my head will be empty for longer than usual, like a birthday present.

Jeddah

2021

Max POV

That Mercedes has the best car in this second half of the season no one doubts, but I still have chances for the championship, mainly because America has smiled on me and, with two wins in a row, I'm still leading the championship, even though I lost in Qatar. After this weekend only the race in Brazil and Abu Dhabi will remain, but unlike previous years everything seems to lead to a decisive last race, just like 2016, maybe in fact I'm the new Nico for Lewis, a tragic love and a rival.

A street circuit like this is not so easy to overtake, in races like this being the pole position is of extreme importance, even if it's easier to overtake than in Monaco. In football there's the famous phrase "the goal that Pelé didn't score", after he kicked a ball from midfield, even before the halfway line, and didn't score, but came so close that it left everyone imagining what a spectacle it would be. I feel like I'm experiencing something similar after having to get out of my car that is on the wall right now, it was the perfect lap, something that would go down in history and that people would say they had seen, I was at the limit, but this limit was extrapolated.

The disappointment on everyone's faces in the garage hurts and makes me bow my head as I pass, Christian pulls me to stand with him and I mentally thank him that I don't have to talk to my father right now. Many strategies are discussed about the race, overtaking points, but at this point in the championship I know all this, but I still listen and absorb. Alone with my dad nothing happens that I don't know about, the race is tomorrow, so today is just reserved for screaming and cursing, and a few driving lessons in between.

The race is another shit show, all of this should be great for the audience, but it's hell to be a part of, tough battle with both of us going off track, punishment for me after I managed to overtake him, our crash, which is clearly the fault of both of us, but I'm the one with the villainous face, so, as always, they say I'm to blame. Lewis wins and the gap narrows, the next race is in São Paulo, the perfect track for this Mercedes car, the probability of him winning there and us being tied is huge, I can only pray that it doesn't happen.