This shit's embarrassing

7

Horrified, shocked, disgusted all words that could be used to describe how you felt looking at him. However, the most effective and the one you wanted to think about the least was heartbroken. As much as you hated to admit it, despite his rejection of you, you still loved him. But currently that was changing.

'Who the hell rubs a rejection in someone's face', you thought

Caught in all of your own emotions you hadn't noticed how much time had gone by. Your confusion was short lived, "(Y/n), are you alright?" he asked.

But despite how long you had loved him and craved for his attention you couldn't help but be angry at his words. He rejected you and now here he is chasing you down, rubbing it in your face. 

'He never seemed this cruel before'

You were still frozen, as you kept trying to work out your feelings in your head. He noticed your internal breakdown.

"Sorry sir, I have no idea why she's acting like this. I'm going to try and talk to her outside" By this point he had grabbed your arm and was bringing you outside.

He walked you out into the hallway and eventually to a hallway fully filled with lockers, nobody else in sight. He stopped and turned towards you, seeming perfectly calm.

"(y/n) I don't know why you're acting like this; I am simply offering to help you" he said perfectly calm.

The same could not be said about you, all of your pent-up emotions from the last 24 hours spilled out with those words of his, "Offering to help? You think this is helping!? How insensitive can you be! You are such an asshole! How does anyone have the audacity to rub rejection in someone's face and then act like they haven't done a damn thing wrong!"

You were close to crying; he didn't want him to see you cry though. You couldn't expose that weakness to him after what he did.

"So that's a no to the tutoring?" he asked as if you hadn't just told him off.

"Fuck you", you walked out of there and towards the gym instead.

~~~~~

You made it through practice without any issues, however it didn't help you blow off much steam. So, you practiced longer, serving, setting, bumping. Whatever you could do on your own, however this didn't make you feel much better.

No matter how much you practiced the feelings of rejection and loneliness wouldn't go away. 'Only time can do that I guess' 

You were getting ready to leave, putting all the volleyballs away and slipping sweatpants over your shorts. But that was also when the man with the most audacity you had ever met walked in.

Before he could say anything, you spoke first, "What the hell do you want?"

"I was getting tired of waiting outside for you" he said nonchalantly as always.

"Wow creepy much" you commented.

He simply sighed before speaking, "As much as you seem to hate me at the moment you can't deny that we need to talk"

"Talk about what? How you rejected me and have been up my ass ever since!" You yelled across the gym keeping some distance.

At that moment he let his facial expression go from calm to confused, "Rejected you? (y/n), I never rejected you"

"Then what the hell was that yesterday?" you asked shortening the distance slightly.

"I needed to know if you actually like me, or it was just drunk ramblings!" He was starting to get worked up instead of you.

"What fucking difference does it make?" You asked slightly yelling.

"Because it made me feel weird! I hadn't felt like that before" he paused for a moment quieting down to a whisper, "I might-". He trailed off at the end so that you couldn't hear him.

You just sighed and walked to the door, sick of dealing with this emotional rollercoaster only to not get an answer. As you put a hand on the door to leave the gym you heard his voice again, "It's late I'll drive you home".

"No, I'm good" you answered quickly without thought.

"(y/n), let me drive you home" He insists

You sighed heavily knowing he wasn't going to give in, "Fine".

You walked silently with him to his car, you entered on the passenger's side. As you were buckling your seatbelt, he sat down himself. Prompting you to ask a question, "Do you need my address?"

"No, I still have it in my phone from the other day", he said buckling his seatbelt and starting the car.

There was silence for a long while, which admittedly you preferred but it was broken all too soon by a certain someone.

"(y/n), I know you like me" he stated.

"Alright I get it you don't like-" you were cut of

"I can't say I like you back", he paused for a moment not taking his eyes off the road, "But I also can't say I don't". He sighed heavily, "You don't have to say yes, but I would like a little while to figure this out in my head. And if I could spend time with you while doing so it would be ideal. Originally that was why I offered to be your tutor, but clearly you didn't like that"

You sat there in shock staring at him, he was sitting here giving you hope. You were overjoyed, he had a reason for anything. You felt like a little kid going to Disney for the first time. But you were speechless, you had no words. He seemed to be slightly concerned by your silence as his hands started to grip the steering wheel tighter.

As much as you just wanted to say yes and try to talk and hand out with him as much as possible something was telling you not to. The thought in the back of your head that made in apparent that no matter what this could still end in rejection. 

'But maybe for once being optimistic is a good thing'

"If you still want to, I would definitely appreciate you as my math tutor. But I am going to need some reassurance from you", you finally responded.

At your condition he raised his head slightly, still looking at the road, "And what would that be?" he inquires.

"I need for you to be understanding when you reject me and not act so cold. Especially if we're closer by then" Just then he pulled into your driveway.

But he was confused by your choice of words, "When? (y/n) it's an if, and if I do end up rejecting you, you can be assured that it won't be cruel". 

He didn't look at you, and you didn't look at him. You both simply looking out the front window at your small home. 

"Thank you for the ride, I'll see you tomorrow after school" you said awkwardly getting ready to leave.

Just as you were about the open the door, he hands you his unlocked phone. "Could I get your number?". He asked looking out the window to his left.

You simply laughed in response putting your number into his phone with just your name as the contact. You handed it back to him as he still refused to look you in the eye.

As you walked into your empty house you place all your bags down and sliding slowly down the back of the door dramatically. While doing so you let out a heavy sigh,

'What the fuck am I doing to myself'

Word count: 1221