Just Call Me Sarah

Day 14: Study Session

Dear Diary....

It had been three days since Eddie's lips touched mine. We had drove around that day, entirely in our own world. He stopped at a forestry area and took me to a spot, he wrote that it was somewhere he comes to scream when he feels frustrated. I had told him to scream it out, you wouldn't be able to hear it and you turned away from him.

That was when he gently touched your shoulder then scribbled, "I never want you to break eye contact again. Please Sarah. I have never felt as lost as watching you run from me."

That moment, that sensation of someone wanting me, just me, just Sarah. It was perfect.

Now we were in my room with Will. Ironically Eddie and Will shared a math class. Will was smart and Eddie, well was Eddie. You sat cross legged on the floor, your blonde hair cascading around you like a curtain. Eddie was sprawled out on your bed. He was signing to himself, Will gave him a few print outs of words, Eddie was always so excited at the idea he could communicate with you without the notepad.

"How.Is.This..." Will was getting frustrated. His signing was getting so much better, but he wasn't getting the math concept. You had been scribbling worksheets for him and then separate ones for Eddie, with better explanations of each of the parts.

Will threw his hands in the air, the motion made your eyes look up at his fingers. They were smudged from all the erasing and ink from the pencils. It had been almost two hours of studying. I leaned forward and took his hands in mine, he focused on me and took a breath. I watched him mouth, "Thank you."

As I released his hands I noted Eddie had moved down next to you on the floor. He had his notepad out and was holding it out for you, "Do you touch others like you did me?"

I looked at his eyes as he looked to be thrown off from your contact with Will. To which you smiled and took both of his hands in yours then slowly moved them to your face. You shake your head to acknowledge, "no."

Eddie's cheeks blushed and he nodded. He mouthed, "Okay."

You moved his hands back to his notepad, you place the new worksheets in his hands and smile at him. The eye contact is something you craved now. He looked down and frowned. Eddie didn't like school work, he was always playing guitar or running about freely. I took his notepad in my hand and started to write, "If you study and do well I'll let you have one wish."

His eyes lit up. He smirked and nodded. A new vigor as he reviewed the notes, I moved the blank workbook over to him. He looked at both and realized it was instructions. He tongue stuck out as he worked through the first few problems.

Will was still working when you looked over at him. It was nice to study with others. I look over at the time and realize it's getting late. I pass my notepad to Will, "Do you need to get home? It's almost dinner time."

Will looked up at the clock and frowned. His shoulders dropped and he signed, "I was. fun." You notice him struggling, but you got the idea.

"Next time." You signed back and mouthed. Will nodded and then suddenly he was hugging you. Your eyes got big and you looked over at Eddie as your arms stuck straight out. Eddie looked at you and started to laugh, his bright eyes, open mouth and hair moving with what you could only believe was a loud noise. This made you wonder what that sounded like, you wondered what his voice sounded like. As you hugged Will back and he pulled away you started to feel a tear fall.

You really wanted to be normal. The more of the world you found through Will and Eddie the more you wished you could be a part of it.

Will was gathering his school supplies, you wiped your eyes, not thinking anyone was paying attention. Will signed "Goodbye Sarah."

Then you watched him turn to Eddie and his mouth moved a bit quicker than normal, he must have been saying his goodbyes to him as well. This also made you twist with emotion, you will never be able to communicate with Eddie in the same manner.

Will exits the room and you suddenly feel Eddie's arms around you, he pulls you onto his lap with your back to his chest. You could feel his breathing, the strong beats of his heart and the warmth of his embrace. I feel his lips on the back of my head, he holds them there for a while. I notice his hands are not sitting palm up on my knees. I want to feel his skin again, I press my hands it his, placing our fingers together and lean back against him. He shifts the both of you so his back is against the bed, his legs are against yours, stretched out, one with a knee up and his face is buried into your neck. He released one of your hands to move some of your hair giving him access to the skin of your neck.

You feel his lips on your skin, slowly kissing along your neck. His hand makes it back to you thigh and sits with the palm up. I didn't just want to hold his hand, as he softly kissed then breathed against me I started to draw on his palm with my finger. He stopped kissing for a moment and pulled his other hand from mine as he looked for the notepad.

"Are you okay with me kissing you?" He wrote the words and I can see his hand was shaking, was he nervous, did you make him nervous?

You look over at him, his face so close to yours, you smile and nuzzle your nose into his cheek. Then taking the notepad in your own hands.

"Can I kiss you now?"

Eddie looked at you, he picked up the notepad and placed it on the bed behind you, he wanted to make sure we could grab it if needed. Nodding his head heavily, his curls bouncing like the first day you met him, slowly you inched toward him and pressed your lips on his. The feeling of when you saw fireworks for the first time blasted into your stomach, his hand on your cheek, the other wrapped around your waist. You close your eyes and with a brief thought slide your tongue out across his lip. Eddie answers with his own and you can feel him pull closer to you.Your tongues meet several more times, you feel something vibrate within your throat, thinking nothing of it.

After what seems like seconds he pulls away. You can feel your chest going up and down as the embrace made you a bit breathless. Eddie reaches for the notepad and brings it back to your lap.

"Sarah. I really like kissing you. The cute sounds you make are so beautiful." He then looks at you, making sure you see him and his eyes. He mouths the words he just wrote, then repeats about four more times. I pull the notepad to me, "I made sounds?"

I was so curious, pointed to my lips then back to the notepad. Eddie smiled and nodded. He ran his finger back over the two words, cute sounds. Was that the vibration I felt, can I make sounds? I start to think and then I have an idea. Eddie is watching me, it's almost like he is afraid to scare me.

I sign "Kiss me"

He looks at the motion and then I write the words down. He smiles and nods, He kisses your nose. Then taps your thigh gently. You move off his lap to face him, he mimics your signing, but it's a bit off. You smile and repeat the motions.

Eddie nods and keeps signing then he looks up, "Sarah. Kiss me."

It was perfect. You clap your hands together but Eddie just looks at you. Does he want you to actually kiss him?

You lean in and Eddie gives you a soft peck on the lips. You feel a small vibration again and Eddie smiles, running his finger over those two words, "cute sounds".

You look over at the worksheets and smile, "School." You sign and Eddie shakes his head, he knew that one since it was one of the words Will had given him.

I run my finger over my sentence, "I'll let you have one wish"

Eddie pouts then picks up the sheets, he sits back down and starts to fill them out again. You watch and instruct as needed. The night gets away from you and your mother sends Eddie home around 8:30pm. Watching him wave and walk backwards to his van filled your chest with a warm feeling. You wave to him and then watch as he signs, "Bye Sarah."