Just Call Me Sarah

Day 58: Hellfire Club

Dear Diary....

I leapt from my bed, I had never done that. I was beyond excited for today. I didn't know how not to be excited, you had been working with Gareth on his campaign and he agreed to let you play with Nancy's help.

You did a small little dance in your room at the idea of being able to participate with a group, you had never got to play with a group of kids when you were little. Your mother was afraid it would reflect poorly on them or on Andy.

You saw the two small photo albums tucked under your bed, it was really the only photos you had of you and your family. Almost 19 years of living with three other people and you didn't know what to make of your mixed feelings. The last week with Nancy had shown you the reality of their negligence and cruelty.

Nancy was even more perplexed and had been trying to make up for lost time, she cooked and cleaned, chatted and just was supportive of you. At one point you asked her if she was okay doing all this for you, to which she answered she never did anything she didn't want to. That she was independent and strong, I nodded at her speech because I could see it, but it almost felt like she didn't believe it herself.

You push aside the photo albums to find your DND guidebook and notebook. You had created yourself a character with Eddie's help. He was more than willing to explain everything to you, it was sweet to watch him get excited about different lore that came from each race, where they fit into his various stories... I mean campaigns, the vocabulary for the game was quite extensive.

You grab your bag and start to pack it up, then look down, well you can't go in your pajamas. You go and change into one of the pairs of jeans you picked up with Nancy and then you see Eddie's Hellfire shirt all scrunched in the corner of your closet. He had wore it over and then proceeded to get juice all over himself when he got into a heated debate over which breakfast food was better pancakes or waffles with Jonathan.

You picked it up and smiled, you could wear this today right? Would Eddie get mad?

You throw it on, its a bit baggie so you tuck it in and add your regular jean jacket. The shirt still smells a bit like Eddie even after the wash Nancy provided, no one was having juice stains in her house she declared.

Jonathan smothered Nancy in kisses saying her weird obsession with domestic chores was cute.

Eddie just laughed, "She's like a hot mom."

This got a glare from Nancy and Jonathan, but I laughed, "You are really pretty Nancy, you would make a very hot mom." You looked at her then your hands, I hope that didn't come across as sarcastic. Your words made Eddie nod like a mad man, which Nancy and Jonathan just shook their heads.

Nancy smiled at you and thanked you, but she turned to Eddie and told him that wasn't something to be happy about coming from him. He fell out of his chair laughing before scooping me up and running for my room. Nancy was probably yelling wildly, but I just hung onto Eddie as he rushed us to safety, then locking the door to give me his own barrage of kisses.

You missed him. It was harder and harder to watch him leave for the night. You wanted to know what it was like to see his face in the morning, to curl up against him at night if you get scared. The world seemed so much larger with him holding your hand. Today was proof of that, you were going to go and be part of his world.

After looking in the mirror, it was all but clear you needed to hurry out of the house, as you run down the hall you can feel Eddie's van outside, Nancy swore his music shook the entire neighborhood. You give her a quick hug, "See you tonight." I was able to say and sign.

She clapped, "That was so good and yes, it should be worth going to just see the look on my brother's face."

She handed me a flask of hot chocolate and a small plastic container as I head out front. My Eddie was leaned against his van, the most perfect smile on his face. I ran down the steps, had to catch myself as I almost face planted, Eddie moved forward with a look of concern that then turned back to his sweet grin.