Less Than Nothing

Chapter 17

  Chapter 17

Last night was the best sleep I've had in months. I can't remember the last time I closed my eyes, and woke up in the morning feeling completely well rested.

Fresh off the wake, I maintained the same calmness and ease that previously coaxed me to sleep.

Only, something is different.

Turning my head to the side, I notice that Ryan isn't next to me. Instead, occupying the space where he previously slept is a large bouquet of red roses, with a note resting between the wrapping paper.

Remedying my curiosity with no hesitation, I reach for the paper.

Alex,

Forgive me for leaving without saying bye. I didn't want to wake you. By the way, you're a pretty sleeper. Just thought I'd mention that. Anyway, Maggie's flight lands soon so I have to pick her up. If I didn't, I would've stayed and watched you sleep longer. In the meantime, here's my contribution to your love of roses. Courtesy of the Alex list. Call me when you wake up.

Sincerely,

Ryan

I read the note. And then re-read it, while attempting to tame the butterflies now roaming rampant in my stomach.

I'm not sure if it's the words he wrote, or the mental image of him making a quick trip to the store down the street for these flowers before he left, but something inside of me lights up. A part of me that's long been vacant, rough and uninviting to outside forces.

As odd, and unfamiliar this feeling is, I strangely don't mind it. I'm kind of freaked out by it, but per usual, I don't allow myself to think too deeply.

Because if I think too deeply, then I'll have to face the idea that I may be starting to have feelings for Ryan.

Feelings beyond just sexual ones.

And that's a huge no no.

The entire foundation of Ryan and I's relationship is no feelings, something we both agreed on. Feelings lead to expectations, and expectations lead to disappointment.

As for my unique situation, feelings may lead to expectations, and expectations may lead to both disappointment and unemployment.

This little crush on Ryan unfortunately can't pay my bills.

For now, I'll just continue to enjoy him however I can, until we either get tired of each other, or this whole thing blows up in our faces. Two very unsettling outcomes that luckily seem distant enough for me to ignore.

Instead of thinking myself into a panic, I follow Ryan's instructions and grab my phone from my nightstand to give him a call.

The phone only rings twice, before his voice comes through the speaker.

"Hey," he greets me brightly. "You're awake."

"I am. Good morning."

My feet dangle off the edge of the bed, before I get up and pull the blinds. I still have on Ryan's white button down, so I'm unsure what he left in, and I think I'd rather remain curious.

"Good morning, how'd you sleep?"

"I slept well." A big understatement. "You?"

"I slept fantastic. Your sheets are top notch." He commends me. "I wish I had more time to appreciate them."

I wish you did too. In my imagination rests the image of us waking up together, still naked, still intertwined. Loads of things to do, but no rush to leave each other just yet.