Less Than Nothing

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Being heartbroken is one thing. Being heartbroken, and then having to call into work is another. You'd think my mini vacation would be enough time to collect myself, and that I'd be prepared to return to some kind of normalcy.

Nope.

Couldn't be further from the truth.

That's the problem with feelings, they're so uncontrollable, yet have the power to dictate everything.

If it were up to me, I'd still be in bed. I would wake up at noon, and head straight to the bathroom where I'd take a warm bubble bath, and guzzle a bottle of wine.

I wouldn't be in this tight skirt, on an elevator headed towards my office floor.

I can't avoid work forever. Especially not now. With her pregnancy symptoms reaching new heights, Adrienne's capabilities have dwindled, leaving me, her rightful assistant, even more obligations.

On the bright side, I'll be so occupied with work that I'll have no extra time to acknowledge the gaping hole in my chest. Yay!

I'll take any win I can, at this point.

Before I reach my floor, I am awarded a long look at myself in the elevator mirror. Today is the first day that I've gotten ready in a long time.

Just because I was feeling like shit, didn't mean I needed to look like it.

I woke up extra early this morning, to ensure that I'd have enough time to pamper myself. My hair is silky and straight, reaching my lower back. The concealer underneath my eyes works overtime, to hide the evidence of how harsh the last few days have been.

I thought that looking like myself would be the best solution in order to start feeling like myself, but it seems as though I was wrong.

Instead, I feel even more lost, as I stare at the reflection of a girl who looks exactly like me, only I can't recognize her at all.

It will take some time for me to fully feel normal again, that I know. I'm just proud of myself for getting out of bed.

Each step, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. I will gladly allow the small victories to pile up, until time works its magic, and Ryan isn't the first thing on my mind when I wake up anymore.

Departing from the elevator, I slowly trudge to my office, passing Andrea's on the way over.

"Alex!" She calls out to me, excitedly, rushing to meet me in the hallway.

In a quick motion, she wraps her arms around my shoulders.

"I missed you...wait," she pulls away, "you're not still sick are you?"

Never was.

"No," I confirm, giving her the green light to continue her embrace.

"Good." She hugs me again. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

That's not a lie. I didn't miss work, but I definitely missed Drea. I could desperately use a friend right now.

Following me into my office, she takes a seat by my desk.

"Confession?" I start, sitting across from her. She nods.

"I wasn't actually sick," the words leave my mouth without any thought. "Truth is, Ryan and I split. Jenna's back in New York, and they're back together."

I almost choke on that sentence, the words are so heavy.

"Wasn't exactly the flu, but I still felt like shit."