I hate you, but I love you

-Chapter 6-

It sounds almost like a fairytale but it’s not. There’s almost never a good ending. That’s why I hate fairytales. They are so fake, unrealistic. They want you to believe that you will fall for your prince charming but what if you don’t. What if your prince charming doesn’t exist, what if you don’t want one, what if it’s a princess, or what if no such thing will ever exist.
The stupid unrealistic idea that this will end well.
This in itself sounds like it’s a fairytale, I’m trying to make you think it will end bad then it ends great but it's not. This is real life and it ends badly. Trust me because I know.
Not to spoil anything but there is no happily ever after. I don’t fall for some boy although I do fall for someone better. There is no happily ever after because I’m never truly happy, I'm just better. The trauma still happened and still affects me. I still have my bad times and nightmares. But I finally got rid of her.
I didn’t kill her, rather I left her.
They say we're all in this together, yet they cast others out to be all on their own. What they mean to say is, if you're good enough then we will like you. That if you aren't perfect then we don't want you. You are an outcast until you make a living for yourself, get through everything on your own if they help.
They tell the truth but liars are never right. They say they are right but in the eyes of the dark they are all liars. The truth is never fully told. The good never tell about the part where they are evil. The part where they attack rather than defend. And in a heat of rage we may all lie to keep others “safe.” But the truth eventually comes out and it hurts like hell.
Trust me I've been lied to and hurt. I won’t deny that I have done the same but never in the intention to hurt someone. And I wish I could believe the same for hurt but when you cheat, lie, and steal. Hurt someone behind their back it hurts. You run up from behind and sneak attack and they will never know who killed them but before you die, before you hit the ground, you see her. Then the last thing you see in the sword they wheeled then you are gone. Not with an explanation rather the regret of what you did to make them do that. And all you get is one last sorry.
Sorry doesn’t change the fact that you are dead and it doesn’t help forgiveness. It only makes you feel like what you did wasn’t their fault rather your own. Forever in a limbo of regret.
That’s how it feels when your friend stabs you in the back and you now get to share that emotion with her. To her. Show her how you felt. Then disappear forever. All the pain is not gone but at least you got your point across.
I'm not telling people to be nice or perfect. I’m just saying“No one ever crosses me again.” And this will be the last time I apologize for others' mistakes.

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