Beep beep beep
I heard the alarm ring at 7 in the morning. I rolled over and saw the picture. I laid there rembering everything ive done with him. The morning he took me to the beach to watch the sunrise. Ugh. I miss him so much.
I looked at the clock again. 7:30. Shit. i had to be at work at 8. My mom owned a daycare down the street and after much begging she hired me but she agreed I would be treated like everyone else so I couldn’t be late. I got up out of bed and threw my naturally curly black hair into a pony tail and put a plastic light blue headband in. I ran to my walk in closest and grabbed a pair of jean shorts and a tshirt with the name of the daycare on it that was the same shade of blue as my headband. I took my iphone and snatched the keys to my golf cart off my dresser and speeded down the street.
I pulled in the parking lot and looked at my phone. whew. just in time. I ran in the door and saw a bunch of kids were already here. I walked over to a two little boys sitting on the play mat and sat down to play with cars.
I felt a tap on my shoulder when I turned to look my mom was standing behind me. “honey, can you come to my office with me?” I got up and followed her to her office. She sat down behind her old beat up desk. “have a seat” she gestured to the chair sitting across from her.
“is something wrong?” I asked. Puzzled.
She chuckled. “ no. gabby. Today we are getting a new little girl. Her name is Emilie.”
“okay? Why are you telling me this? We get new kids all the time.” I gave her attitude.
“well, I want you to pay special attention to her. be like a big sister I guess.” She said
“why? Whats so important about her?” I asked
“Gabby. Just please?” she pleaded.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “fine, can I go now?” she shook her head and I got up and ran back to the room with all the kids.
I looked around the room for an unfamiliar face. I spotted a blonde hair, blue eyed adorable little girl sitting alone in the corner talking to her doll. I walked up and sat down beside her. “are you Emilie?” I smiled at her.
“yes, and this is molly” she said holding her doll towards me “do you want to hold her?”
“I would love to!” I said. “can you show me how to hold her?”
She placed the doll in my arms “there. You have to hold her like that. That’s how my mommy showed me how to hold her. she said that’s how my daddy used to hold me before he left”
“where did he go?” I asked.
“im not sure, mommy said he’s our knight. And he had to leave and fight for us. But he will be back soon. Can I have molly back?” she said. I handed her back the doll. What was she talking about?
The day went by quick. Emilie was such a sweet little girl. It was time for her to leave so I gathered up her crafts from that day and helped her put them in her backpack. I heard her yell “moooommmmmyyy” and she ran away from me. She jumped into the arms of a gorgeous blonde haired blue eyes woman. Emilie looked just like her. I assumed she was her mother. The woman carrying Emilie walked up to me.
“is she ready to go?” she smiled.
“yepp. heres all her stuff” I said handing it to her. “Im gabby, by the way, and ill be Emilie’s special helper while she is here”
“nice to meet you, Im Amy” she introduced herself. “I hope she wasn’t too much trouble for you today’
“nope, none at all, shes a really good kid” I grinned
“mommy, I told ms gabby about daddy. And how he is our knight.” Emilie interrupted. Amy’s smile faded and put Emilie down.
“emmy, sweetie why don’t you go over there and play for few minutes” she said
“okay mommy!” she said running off.
“listen,” her mom said “Emilie’s father, Chris, is in the army and is overseas currently.” I felt my stomach drop “she is too young to understand, I don’t even think I want her to understand. So we tell her that he had to go fight for us. And that he is our knight. Could you do me a favor and go along with it too?”
“yeah, I will.”I told her “you know. I don’t know if my mother told you but my father has been in the army my whole life basically. And my boyfriend has recently left too.” I paused and looked at the floor “so I get it..”
She smiled at me “I know. She told me. And that’s why I asked her to place Emilie with you, listen I have to go. We will see you tomorrow.” She turned to walk away. “come on Emilie!” she yelled.
Emilie ran by me and she yelled “bye ms gabby” and she was gone. Now I see why Emilie is special. Ugh I cannot believe my mother would do this to me.
I stomped back to her office to find her sitting at her desk. I sat down on the edge of the seat. She looked at me smiled “ how was little Emilie?” she asked
“why would you do that?” I yelled.
“do what?” she questioned me
“set me up with a little girl whose father is in the army, I mean what do you want me to say to her. that her dad is going to MIA her whole life?” I said
“honey, that’s not true. Her father wont be gone forever like yours. Your father chose to go back” she told me.
“You don’t even get it!” I yelled at her and ran out of the room. I speeded home in the golf cart and ran to my room crying. I heard my phone buzz. Mom: Gabby, im going out with the girls. Ill be home late. We will discuss your outburst tomorrow morning. Love you!. “the girls” aka her friends she met in the support group she would force me to go to when we were younger for families dealing with a loved one being away.I looked over at the picture next to my bed. I want Zach. I miss his hugs, his voice, his everything. I just want him back.
The next morning at the daycare I was setting out the finger painting when my mom walked up behind me.
“honey,” I ignored her “gabby!” she yelled
“what?” I snapped
“Im sorry, okay. it was stupid of me to put you with Emilie, I just know how hard it was on you to not have your dad around. And I just thought-‘
“im fine” I interrupted her. “I like Emilie anyways”
That day Emilie was wearing a tee-shirt with the Disney princess belle on it and a yellow tutu. She told me that her daddy promised he would take her to meet Belle at Disney land when he got home. I remember my dad would make me promises like that. He told me once when I was about eight and obsessed dolphins that he would take me to swim with them and here it is almost 10 years later and guess what? Its yet to happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m used to him letting me down. I never really believe anything he tells me but my little eight year old self is still upset. She painted a picture, she said she was sending to daddy it was a heart with little stick figures of, I assume, her and her father. She refused to paint in any color except for army green. I asked her why she told me it was his favorite color, that he wore it all the time.
