The next day at daycare, Emilie wasn’t there. I didn’t think that much of it. I told mom that dad had called last night and lied and said we talked for what felt like forever. She just smiled in approval. On the way home I heard on the radio of some accident killing five soldiers overseas. My mom shut it off immediately. In our house you are only allowed to discuss the positives of being a soldier. Talking about how you can possibly die was forbidden, I don’t understand why it’s just the truth.
That night my mom had made barbeque chicken pizza. It was my dad’s favorite, at least that’s what mom had always told me.
“mom, do you know why Emilie wasn’t there today?” I asked.
“im not sure gabby?” she said “why?”
“im just worried that’s all,” I answered taking another bite from my pizza.
“im sure shes fine” she said as the phone rang. I got up to answer it thinking it was Zach when my mom motioned me to sit down. She answered it.
“what?” she said into the phone. “are you sure?” “no no, ill tell her.” “thank you, and im very sorry for your loss.” My mom hung up the phone. She turned around to look at me. Her face pale, eyes red. She was fighting back tears.
“mom? Whats wrong?” I asked. She walked over and sat down.
“honey, that was Zach’s parents.” She said leaning across the table grabbing my hand.
“and?!” I yelled started to cry “whats wrong are they okay?”
“theyre fine.” She choked on her words. “its Zach.”
“what about him?” she started crying “MOM!”
“im sorry honey..im so sorry.” She said
“no!” I screamed standing up. “youre lying!”
“gabby,” she said “remember on the radio. Five soldiers were killed by a suicide bomber? Right? He was one of the five.. hes gone.. honey im so sorry.”
“NO! MOM HE CANT BE!!” I screamed and ran out on the door.
I ran and ran until I got to the beach. To our spot. Under the pier. I looked at the post that had our initials carved in. He told me after he carved them in that if I ever miss him to go to this spot, and he will be there for me. But I don’t feel him here, I don’t feel anything.
“gabby!” I heard my mom yell. She ran up to me. I hugged her tight.
“Mom, when someone dies, you’re supposed to feel them there still aren’t you?” she just rubbed my back “I don’t feel him. Mom. I don’t-hes gone!”
“shh, honey its okay.its going to be okay” she said
