I Saved My Heroes (Fifth Harmony/You)

Chapter Ten

Your P.O.V.

I'm getting out today, its been two weeks and the girls refused to leave my side. I felt bad because they had pushed back their tour just to stay with me. Today was supposed to be the first day of their tour. I hadn't said a word since I watch the security video, What was I supposed to say?

The girls and my family would try and get me to talk but I would just stare at them. I felt empty, when I killed Xavier I also killed a part of me as well, a part of me that once wished to be a hero, but now I never want be because of fear people would expect more from me than I can give. I try not to think about that night but its kinda hard, I guess I just can't live with the fact I took someones life.

Today was also the day where the girls would go on the news and talk about that night for the first time. North Carolina wasn't really a place where this kind of stuff happened but I guess that changed once the news announced it.

I haven't dared to look at any of my social media, I don't want to see people call me a hero. I still choose not to believe those words, scared of the responsibilities that come with it.

I was currently in my hospital room's bathroom putting on clothes my mom brought me. I angled myself to where I couldn't see my reflection in the mirror, I hadn't seen myself yet, scared of what I looked like.

I dropped the hospital clothes to the ground and saw the bloody wraps and bruises on my stomach. My mom had already changed my wraps and it already was half way bloody, no wonder I was so pale. If this is what my body looks like, I wonder what my face looks like. My temptations grew more and more as I slipped on my clothing.

Once I finished I needed to brush my teeth since I haven't done it in a while, which meant I had to stand in front of the mirror. The thought terrified me, as much as I healed, i'm sure I still look like crap.

I chose to shake it off and hesitantly step in front of the mirror with my eyes closed. I can do this. I slowly opened my eyes and I met with my own eyes staring right back at me. I was disgusted, there was cut and bruises all over my face. Luckily it had been two weeks and the swelling went down but the cuts still had the scabs that showed clearly on my face. My eye was a dark shade of purple along with my bottom lip.

I tore my eyes away from the mirror not wishing to see anymore. I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste from my bag and quickly brushed my teeth before heading out the bathroom.

My family were seated in the seats waiting for me. The girls must of left for the interview already.

"Hey sweet heart, how are you feeling?" My dad asked me standing up from his seat. I still didn't wish to speak so I just put a thumbs up and he nodded.

"Well the girls left for the interview already and they said at 12:45pm is when they go live. They want you to watch." My mom said and I looked over at the clock to see it was 10:00 so we had enough time to get home and settle down.

"Why won't you speak Y/N?" Dana asked and I shrugged. "Please talk to us." I just stared at her, I wanted to speak but I knew what ever I said would make me feel worse. I don't deserve to speak, and thats why I choose not to.

"Honey, there are people outside excited to see you, you may speak to them if you'd like. Some security from the hospital offered to help guide you to the car passed the people, okay?" My mom explained changing the subject and I nodded walking over to the trash bag that laid on my hospital bed.

"You sure you wanna go through that?" Dana asked walking behind me. I knew what was in there, the clothes I wore that night. I just wanted to see, I had to see.

I didn't respond to her question, instead I untied the not at the top of the trash bag and opened it. The clothes I wore that night were piled inside, My shirt was bloody and had a hole where the bullet penetrated. My pants were stained red from the warm liquid that was on my shirt as well. Every article I pulled out cause my body to cringe. The memories flooded faster and clearer now that I was actually touching something that was in them. I reached and grabbed the last piece of clothing, my jacket. I saw it wasn't really harmed, just some bloody stains that was removable. I decided I wanted to wear it, I wanted to fight my demons, and this was a start. I placed the other clothing back into the bag and placed my jacket over my shirt. I felt the fabric rub against my skin and it felt like it was burning. The smell of Jacob's body wash filling my nose every time I breathed in. The jacket tried bringing back the memories more and more clearer than it already was but I fought it, with all my strength.