bad in the bones -conrad fisher

ch. 3

I can't sleep. I lay in bed, tossing and turning until my back starts to hurt and my eyes burn because they won't stay shut. I throw the blanket off of my body and go downstairs.

I had a hard time sleeping after the breakup. It was like my soul was so torn up that I couldn't possibly find any peace. Even at night. Even in the dark. That's always when it felt the worst.

Susannah's house is quiet when everyone is asleep. You can hear the ocean, even so far off in the distance, through the walls. I feel like I need to tip-toe around so I don't wake anyone. The only light in the kitchen is that of the moon and the refrigerator when I open it for a bottle of water.

I decide to sit outside. It's still nice out, even at night. There are no mosquitoes or bugs, just the calm air and the soft swishing of the water. I hear the tree branches brush together and then see a head pop out of the brush. Dark hair. Tall. Same red hoodie he was wearing earlier. Conrad.

I follow him, choosing my steps carefully. He must be going down to the beach. I didn't know they had their own stretch of it. I follow the path that connects the backyard to the sandy shore. Small, paved, covered with trees. It leads right up to the patio where their pool is. It was really perfect. Conrad is still in front of me and he pulls something out of his pocket and lights it. "What are you doing?" I ask, forgetting my own voice and the fact that I had been following him.

Immediately, I'm embarrassed. My face flushed so hot I pray he can't see it when he turns around. He looks amused. "Have you been following me?" He asks. I swallow my words. I don't need to incriminate myself even further, I think it's fairly obvious the answer is yes.

"I couldn't sleep," I tell him. He nods and takes a hit of what I think, now that I can see it, is a joint. "Pot?" He nods.

"Do you want a hit?" He asks me, extending it toward me. We're a few feet apart, so I have to walk toward him to grab it. I'm no longer under the safety of the tree canopy. I am now fully on the beach, exposed by the moon. I take the joint from him and take a hit. It burns my throat and my lungs but I suppress the cough. "Do you smoke?"

"I don't." He laughs at me and I can't help but chuckle along with him. "Occasionally, I suppose." I really only smoked when Josh did. And he really only smoked at parties. Sometimes, I'd pretend to inhale it and then blow it out really fast so that it didn't make me cough. I didn't really like the feeling of being high. It made me feel like I could float away and I didn't want to float away. I wanted to keep my feet planted on the ground. "I thought Belly said you were an athlete," I say.

"I quit, remember?" I nod.

"So you're a stoner now?"

"I guess so." He laughs and then I want to pry.

"Why did you quit?" He tenses and takes another hit before shrugging his shoulders. "You don't have to tell me," I say.

"I stopped liking it," he says. I nod and he gestures toward the beach. The ocean lay out in front of us and I forgot that we had stopped moving for a second. "Wanna go down?" I nod eagerly.

Conrad laughs and we walk toward the water, our fingers brushing as we walked next to each other in silence. My flip-flops cause too much friction against the sand and my feet and I stumble in it. "Oh, hold on," I tell him and reach down to take off my sandals. He waits for me, watching me intently as I struggle. When I finally get them off, I carry them between my fingers. Conrad reaches out to them. Or me. "What?" I ask, laughing between my words.

"I'll carry them."

"They're sandals not bricks," I tease. He shrugs and reaches for them and I hold them up higher, knowing he's taller than me and can reach without a lot of struggle. When he reaches for them, I step backward, keeping them out of his reach. He stumbles forward and puts his hand on my hip to steady himself in the sand. I feel it. The electricity. But I ignore it. He laughs as we play keep away until eventually, I bring the shoes down from in the air and let him take them. "Fine, you win," I conceded.