bad in the bones -conrad fisher

ch. 6

Conrad's quiet music accompanies us on our drive to the pier. It wasn't too far from the house, I remember seeing it as we drove into town only a few days before. It's cliche, but it really does feel like it was forever ago that we arrived. Forever ago when I didn't know Conrad existed, Josh was still the asshole that left me, and I was doomed to a summer alone with the prospect of Columbia spinning down the garbage disposal. Now, I'm sitting in the car with a boy that I kissed less than 12 hours ago and Josh still loves me and I can't help but wonder if I still love him but my hand pulls towards Conrad's as it dangles off the end of the middle console of the car. Maybe one day we'll find ourselves back to each other.

Conrad's quiet music accompanies us on our drive to the pier. It wasn't too far from the house, I remember seeing it as we drove into town only a few days before. It's cliche, but it really does feel like it was forever ago that we arrived. Forever ago when I didn't know Conrad existed, Josh was still the asshole that left me, and I was doomed to a summer alone with the prospect of Columbia spinning down the garbage disposal. Now, I'm sitting in the car with a boy that I kissed less than 12 hours ago and Josh still loves me and I can't help but wonder if I still love him but my hand pulls towards Conrad's as it dangles off the end of the middle console of the car. Maybe one day we'll find ourselves back to each other.

Conrad's quiet music accompanies us on our drive to the pier. It wasn't too far from the house, I remember seeing it as we drove into town only a few days before. It's cliche, but it really does feel like it was forever ago that we arrived. Forever ago when I didn't know Conrad existed, Josh was still the asshole that left me, and I was doomed to a summer alone with the prospect of Columbia spinning down the garbage disposal. Now, I'm sitting in the car with a boy that I kissed less than 12 hours ago and Josh still loves me and I can't help but wonder if I still love him but my hand pulls towards Conrad's as it dangles off the end of the middle console of the car. Maybe one day we'll find ourselves back to each other.

"So, what is this boat's name?" I ask. I need to talk to get out of my head. I need him to talk so I don't hear Josh's voice telling me that he loves me.

"Well," he laughs as if there's a story here. Hopefully a very long one that makes his voice sound familiar and like background noise I could listen to forever. That's what I need right now. Someone to talk and talk until their breath runs out. "My sailing boat's name is the Unsinkable."

"How come?" Where's the story? There's always a story.

"Remember when you told me you were afraid of the water?" I nod. "Well, when I was really young I used to be afraid of boats. My dad always wanted on and when we were young, he actually built one with me and Jeremiah. I was too scared to get on it and he always told me it was unsinkable." He smiles to himself. I wish I could see the scene play out in his mind. "I don't know how true that is, but." He shrugs his shoulders and the fond smile washes away from his face. "That was a long time ago."

"So how come that boat isn't named the Unsinkable?" I ask.

"Jeremiah wanted to call it Shark Bait." I laugh. Loud. Conrad glances over at my from the driver's seat and can't help but laugh, too. "It's still docked at this pier. We just never use it. It's not a good boat."

"It floats?" I ask. My cheeks hurt because now I'm smiling and I feel like I can't stop. Conrad nods and says yeah of course it floats like it was obvious and I reply: "Then it's a good boat."

He gives me a grateful smile. His eyes tell me that no one has ever told him that before and maybe no one has had the chance to tell him. Belly always told me that Conrad didn't get along with his dad very much. That lately they've been fighting but he sounded fond of him just now and I didn't want to crush that. I know what it's like to find fleeting moments of love for your parents. "I didn't know that Adam ever came during the summer. Besides the Fourth. At least, that's what Belly has always told me," I say. I hate that I say it but I'm curious and I hate that I'm curious. Summer was for the girls and the kids, she used to tell me. She'd beam so bright it would knock out the sun while she talked about it, carefully picking out each piece of clothing. For Conrad. I look back out the window at the ocean as it passes by. Guilt. That's what I'm feeling.