bad in the bones -conrad fisher

ch. 9

It was fun seeing Conrad in secret. There were stolen kisses in the backyard when no one was around and knocks on the wall that separated us that always seemed to come when I couldn't sleep. He could read my mind, I think. Always hearing me think about him. I'd sneak out my room and tap on his door and he opened it so quickly it was like his hand was on the doorknob waiting for me.

He'd grab my hand and lock the door behind me and sometimes, I'd wake up with the birds chirping the next morning and have to sneak back to my room but sometimes we stayed awake as long as possible like we needed to savor every second of this. One night, I laid on my back starring up at his ceiling and he strummed on his guitar almost too quietly and I leaned over on my side, propped myself up on my elbow and Conrad was already staring at me. "What?" He whispered with a smile.

"Stop," I told him. His hands ceased to play and he moved the guitar off of his lap. He put his palms down on the bed on either side of me and crawled on top of my body, forcing me down onto my back again. His eyes were too brown, his hair too floppy, and his smile so perfect I couldn't stand it any longer so I kissed him.

My fingers found the hair on the back of his neck and he leaned into me, pressing his hips against mine. Sometimes things got steamy like this: our bodies pressed too firmly together until we were just a pile of sweat, saliva, and heavy breathing. I've stopped him every time not because I didn't want to but because I haven't had sex with anyone except for Josh and the idea of that happening was almost too much for me to think about. Especially in moments like this were I was too flustered to think straight. I stopped him every time except for last night.

Tonight, I let his hands linger under my shirt for a little longer than normal and when he looked up at me to make sure I was okay, where I usually shake my head no, I nodded my head yes. Our clothes were off and our bodies were sweaty and everything was quiet except for his breathing in my ear.

I laid next to him with his blanket wrapped around my naked body and I didn't speak until he turned his head to look at me. "Are you okay?" He sounded guilty and that made me feel guilty and I nodded my head. It was the truth. I was okay. "Do you regret that?" He asked again and this time I shook my head. I didn't.

"Did you know people burn 3 and a half calories a minute on average during sex?" I asked, looking over at him. His cheeks were flushed and he smiled and then he kissed me. I leaned into him and kissed him back. "I should go back to my room," I whispered against his lips. He nodded in agreement and then I got dressed and returned to my room.

I didn't sleep at all which is probably directly related to the bags under my eyes that Laurel is packing concealer on right now. "I never noticed how bad they were," she whispered as she applied more.

"It doesn't need to be perfect," I mumble to her. She gives me a look and I don't look at her. "I don't even want to go to this, you know that."

"Yea, well, Belly is really excited so why don't you just be happy for her?"

"I am happy for her," I lie. Laurel doesn't reply, just adds blush to my cheeks. "Just don't make her wear a fascinator, okay?" I look at her through my lashes and she smiles at my joke and the air in the room relaxes.

"She's not wearing a fascinator," she assures me. I nod and Laurel fluffs out my hair. "It's time to go."

Seeing Conrad in a suit is more shocking than I anticipated. I'm so used to his disheveled, salt-air hair and swim trunks that seeing him all put together is making me feel things I wasn't prepared for. He eyes me from the steps of the country club, careful not to look for too long but I smile and wave at him as we walk up.

Susannah is on Conrad's arm and she smiles as Laurel and I approach. "There you guys are!" She exclaims like she has been waiting for us forever. She arrived earlier with Belly to help set up. "You look beautiful," she tells me as I approach, squeezing my arm gently.