The Known Affair- A One Shot Story

Memories

She thinks about him every day, and the longing is so full it reaches her legs. She wants to walk to wherever he is and stay there forever. She'd leave everything behind. Everything.

She sighs and sprays her venus flytrap with a warm, light misting, looking out at the balcony window.

She had finally left Jeff after an argument and an apology proposal that she'd rejected. It had been a long time incoming, she truly had started to despise the way he didn't seem to care about her needs. When she'd gotten pregnant again, nothing changed between them and she'd had her fill just before Christmas. She'd broken free of his half assed attempt at loving her.

She watched her two children play. Her eldest son was now almost 3, and her littlest had just hit 1 a few months ago. They were playing with blocks on the carpet, one lining them up by color and size and the other knocking them around.

"Augustus, play nice with your younger brother please." He had looked close to a meltdown, but he smiled up at her. "Remember, he's a baby."

"Okay, Mommy. Jonny smells poopy." He wrinkled his nose in the same way that she did and she laughed.

"Of course he does." She set down the plate she was washing and dried her hands.

The mixed children looked nearly identical to each other, and people would always ask if they were twins. Irish twins maybe, but definitely not twins.

Jonny met her halfway and used her pants to pull himself upright. She picked him up with a flurry of kisses and he grabbed her face excitedly. He loved kisses, and she loved having someone to be affectionate with while she was by herself.

As soon as she started walking toward the changing pad, the baby squirmed in an attempt to escape.

"Sorry buddy, Mommy will try to make this quick. For both of us." She did just that, trying not to breathe in too deeply but gagging anyways. She had no idea how they were now essentially eating the same things but his diapers always smelled like toxic waste. He giggled and cooed when she told him he was stinky and dropped the diaper into the special trash can.

She sat with them now, dishes could wait, and watched them play.

Augustus had a bulkier, almost muscular build for being a toddler. His huge curly afro was wild today, she would need to brush it before bath time. He had almost black irises like hers, and incredibly light skin for being mixed. Ever loving, but also incredibly assertive. When he was younger she could remember countless times when he would tell her no to kisses or hugs. She always listened and made sure to praise him for his boundaries, even if he was so cute she couldn't bear to keep her lips off of him. He looked like she did as a child, save for the light skin.

Jonny however was incredibly affectionate, and he looked a little less like her. His hair was even more curly than Augustus' and his skin a little darker. He was always asking for kisses and wanting to be held, but he also had his streaks of independence beginning to show. He preferred now to feed himself and would push her hand away with a firm, "No." when she tried to feed him something he could feed himself. He was silly too, he loved strange things like pool noodles and full soda cans to practice walking with and less strangely, balloons. He was precious, but what got her every time were his eyes.

Soft and brown and loving, just like his father's. They were almost honey brown, and she adored them.

She felt guilty when he would smile at her and it would break her heart a little, but it couldn't be helped. She'd live with these feelings potentially forever, and she had to be okay with that.

Steven was gone now, and she just had to take that in stride and try to move on even if it made her nights restless and her stomach queasy.

Their affair had ended abruptly, after he'd gotten fired from his job and moved to the other side of the country.