We sit in the diner and I pretty much just listen to him talk about basketball.
He tells me about the team he's playing agaisnt and how they "suck turkey dick."
He also goes off about Eddie, he calls him the f slur.
TW: slight metion of rape
"I don't even understand how he has friends. He's so fucking weird, like he gives me the creeps. I bet he like rapes chick's on his free time. No way he'd ever get consensual pussy."
END OF TW
(Stay safe bbs<3 ily)
"Right,"
I say nonchalantly, ignoring the growing anger in my stomach.
I want to tell him that Eddie's actually kinda sweet, and interesting.
I want to tell him about how Eddie's eyes sparkle when he's doing something he's passionate about (dnd).
I want to tell him about when Eddie drove me home and he let me ramble to him.
I hate the way Chris talks about Eddie.
I hate Eddie, but he doesn't deserve to be shit on like this.
Part of me thinks Eddie's little "come to my van" conversation was out of genuine concern, and I should've listened.
"You agree right?"
He snaps me out of my thoughts, for the second time today.
"Hm?"
"You zone out too easily, I swear to God it's like talking to a brick wall."
"Sorry.."
"You agree that Eddie needs to be thrown into a mental asylum."
"Why? He's not mentally ill."
"Yes he fucking is! Did you see the way he was looking at you? He's sucked into that stupid fantasy game. He can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. He need serious help."
"Are you talking about dnd?"
"Yeah, that shit is evil man, promise you'll stay away from it?"
I want to tell him so badly that I played on friday, and that I'm actually really good at the game.
But I simply can't.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
We finish the date and I decide to tell him Steve's picking me up.
Which is a lie, I have no ride home.
I walk an hour to get home but it's worth not having to be in a car with him.
I get home and write in my journal.
Monday, September 16th 1985,
Christopher is fucking crazy.
He's also homophobic and a total jocky dirt bag.
He makes me quite literally sick to my stomach.
I wanted to tell him how much of a freak I am, I wanted him to know that when he was throwing jabs at Eddie, he was throwing jabs at me too.
He insulted Eddie's "shitty music taste," he can't believe people like that gross Metallica shit.
People who play dnd are "mentally ill" and "can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality."
I can't fucking stand him.
He almost got me killed by running a red light and then got mad when I got scared.
He told me I was overreacting and I'm probably just on my period.
He never asked about me on the date, he doesn't know anything about me.
Yet he struts around, holding my hand and calling me pet names.
Like he has the fucking right!
I'm starting to think Eddie was right.
I hate Eddie, but I think he was just looking out for me.
It makes no sense, I know.
My arch enemy trying to save me from a shitty group of people, I don't get it either.
Tomorrow I'm breaking it off with Christopher and taking this fucking journal with me so I can vent about it after.
Somehow Eddie knew I liked to write, I never told him that.
I used to have the biggest fucking crush on Eddie but he was so mean to me.
I never understood why he didn't want me, but now it's like.. I don't know.
It's almost like he wants to be friends.
That'll never happen, I still hate him.
