After the Fire

Chapter 11

Not wanting to hurt each other more, Erik and Amelie kept a comfortable distance from one another. When Sunday came, they agreed to all go to Mass together. It was the first time the two of them had truly talked in days.

Erik needed Amelie's makeup again, so he sheepishly knocked on her door.

"Come in!" she called.

He came into the room and she nearly took his breath away. She had gotten a new dress that hugged her curves so perfectly... she looked like a goddess as the thing flowed about her.

"Erik!" She smiled, but her eyes became immediately teary, "I've missed our chats..."

"As have I..."

"We don't have much time before Mass. Perhaps we can talk more this evening?"

Erik nodded, "Would you help me cover..."

"Yes, of course. Have a seat."

Amelie applied the powder to his face. When she was finished, he spoke, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she planted a kiss on his forehead and then giggled, "Oh look, I got lip stain on you." She gently removed the reddish stain from Erik's forehead.

Erik smiled at her. Her laugh was perfect and contagious.

"I look forward to our chat later," Erik said quietly.

"As do I."

The three of them went to Mass and were immediately greeted by the priest after it was over. "So glad to see you've returned! I don't believe I caught your names last time."

"I'm Erik Destler. This is my..." he hesitated and then grabbed Amelie's hand, "My wife, Amelie, and my daughter, Josephine."

"Pops, I go by Fifi!" Fifi burst.

The priest, Erik, and Amelie all giggled, "She feels very strongly about her nickname," Amelie pinched Fifi's cheek.

"I shall remember it then," the priest laughed, "Fifi, would you like to join the children's choir?"

"Oh yes, I would love to! Pops is great singer!"

"Erik, is that true?"

"Oh, I..."

"Do you play organ or piano?"

"Well yes..."

"Erik! What wonderful news! Would you be interested in becoming our organist? We have been gifted an organ by a church that is closing... Well, we figured we'd use it eventually, but what a blessing! You're here and could play! Of course, if you're willing."

Amelie put her arm around Erik. "Erik, I think you should," Amelie whispered. She turned her head and whispered in his ear, "It's a new life, Erik. Do what makes you happy."

"I would love to," Erik replied confidently. "Do you think the congregation minds my deformity?" Erik lowered his voice and gestured to his face.

"Heavens no. If they do, I can speak with them personally. Every man is created in the image of God, and you are no exception, Erik." The priest shook Erik's hand, "We will of course compensate you. They are to bring the organ tomorrow. Why don't you come to be sure it is proper shape?"

Erik nodded, "Thank you. Have a good day."

"You as well. Madame Destler, Fifi, I'll see you next Sunday."

"Very well," Amelie smiled.

That evening a wave of emotion overcame Erik. He was sitting in his room trying to pull himself together so he could go enjoy his evening chat with Amelie. He had promised after all, but the tears wouldn't stop falling. His life was everything he dreamt of, but he didn't feel deserving. Fifi had set him off. She had called him Pops at church, but he thought she was just pretending. That night when he gave her a goodnight kiss, she had timidly said, "Will you be my Papa?"

To which Erik replied, "I can't replace your Papa."

"No, but can I call you Pops? You're the only thing I'll ever have like Papa."

He had kissed Fifi on the forehead and told her that he would be anything to make her happy.

Then he had cried in his room until he felt he could cry no more. Every time he thought he could gather himself to go see Amelie he lost it again.

Amelie grew tired of waiting and went to check on Erik. She knocked softly on his door.

"Amelie, I..."

"Please let me in."

He hesitated, but answered, "It's open."

Amelie came in and saw him sitting on the bed. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked so lost and alone.

"Erik..." she sat down next to him. Grabbing his hand, she quietly said, "You'll be alright."

For the first time ever, he openly began to sob. Not whimper. Not grow teary-eyed. Sob.

Amelie moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. He shakily put his arms around her, but dropped them when he grew nervous.

"You can touch me, Erik. I don't mind. I need a hug too every once in awhile."

He cried hard. "I'm a fraud. You and Fifi are giving me this fake, but wonderful life where I get to feel like a real man. I don't deserve any of it. I never should have let you save me. My heart is going to get broken again, and I can't live through it again. I can't. I just..."

"Erik, what part of it is fake?" Amelie asked, looking into his eyes.

"All of it."

Amelie felt tears flood her eyes, "Erik, none of it is fake. None. I know Fifi isn't your daughter and I'm not your wife, but after what we've been through together... Surely, you realize how Fifi feels about you and how I feel about you."

Erik's eyes stared into Amelie's searching for the answer.

"Erik, I love you."