𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 [Harry James Potter]

Chapter 12: Ace of Swords

Ace of Swords

Trigger warning: Violence, Gore

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Dear Sirius

This moment reminded me of when my mother had told me that a woman's first blood doesn't come from in between her legs, but from biting her tongue. It was one of many moments I thought she was pathetic, mostly because she was just saying that so I wouldn't make a scene at one of their many balls. I now realise she was right as I write this letter of unspoken words that will never get sent.

The last time I felt like this was when I wrote in my journal nonstop in my sixth year, oh how naïve and young I was. It was still when we're pretending to hate each other.

Do you remember the longing stares and the small excuses we had to just to be around each other? I do. I knew I didn't believe the bitter things about blood purity and sullied reputations that my father had said about you, so I convinced myself that it was because you were an asshole and that seemed to work for six years.

He was just mad he couldn't betroth us anymore, do you think he'd be happy that we're together or mad that we're the worlds biggest "blood traitors"?

Well we're not together anymore so perhaps he'd be even more displeased.

We spent three whole year's in bliss I wish it could have stayed like that but this is too important and I'm sorry.

I know that you hate that Dumbledore has asked me to become a spy for the order, but he insists that this is the only way we can take down the dark lord down. If there is a chance I could end this war I have to take it.

I wish we hadn't spent our last moments fighting over it.

When you gave the ultimatum of you or Dumbledore's mission, you believed that I would choose you. I wanted to, I really wanted to, but I need to ensure a future with you, not just the promise of now.

You've definitely found the letter I left on the kitchen counter as I left in the middle of the night, I couldn't face you to say goodbye in person. Dumbledore said I wasn't supposed to tell anyone where I was going or what I was doing but I had to tell Yemaya.

Unfortunately the night I arrived at Zabini manor, the house was quite and had a chilling atmosphere, I eventually found her but to my shock, I found Yemaya rolling her husband's dead body up in their living room rug.

My first instinct wasn't to question her or call the aurors, it was to help her bury the body in her backyard. I insisted on doing the heavy lifting seeing as she was eight months pregnant with little Blaise.

She cried in my arms, explaining how he had gotten drunk again.

Her husband seemed like a good man but you remember he was a violent drunk, so when she finally had enough, she knocked him in the head with a spade. The same spade we used to bury him.