F*cking the Enemy

20

   The following morning drops on you like a bucket of ice water. Your body is completely shot but you can't sleep a second longer. Taehyung's demon eyes haunt you and you can't still understand why he would do something like that. Was he truly insane? In any case you feel betrayed, by him, and especially Namjoon...
You sit up with nausea and feeling dehydrated, but the sight of Jungkook, sleeping peacefully naked next to you both warms your heart and stirs up guilt within you. Just a couple days ago you were sure you were madly in love with Kim Taehyung, and every time Namjoon would mention his feelings for you, your knees would tremble. How are you ever going to be able to give yourself to Jungkook?
You get off the bed making as little movement as possible and reach for your phone on the floor. There were at least 20 missed calls from Seokjin, Taehyung and Namjoon; and a message from the last one that read 'Come meet me at that coffee shop, it's important'.
Without giving it much thought you get up, get dressed and get in an Uber home, you change into something appropriate and drive to the first coffee shop you and him ever went to. Namjoon may be a liar; but you know he would never hurt you.
On the way there you hope Jungkook remains asleep because you can't bring yourself to say where you're going or lie to him after the night you've had. But he will have to understand, if he loves you he will.
(...)
Kim Namjoon is sitting alone, wearing casual clothes and reading a book... A total vision that doesn't escape the couple of women ogling him wantonly from other tables.
Your eyes meet accross the room instantly, making you skip a beat. It's like he sensed your presence as soon as you came in, but you wish you could have observed him from afar for a little while longer...
-Hi...- you say softly, sitting next to him as he gets up to receive you, like a true gentleman.
-Thank you for coming...
He pierces your soul with his dragon eyes, but you can tell there's a hue of shame in them.
-Why am I here?- you ask after a few seconds of silence.
-I wanted you to know that I never did anything, with my own hands... I gave him some of the names but... I... admit I was an accomplice...- he clears his throat, nervously -... And I withheld the truth from you, and I, I think he would never hurt you, but I can't be sure... I'm a jerk... I'm sorry...
-Namjoon, but why?- you interject, wishing to understand his motives better.
-I just... At first I didn't take you seriously... but then that changed... I have never taken anyone seriously... and he's like my little brother... We used to dream of making the World a better place... but, what happened yesterday, that was not what I had in mind at all...
-I just wish you would have trusted me... I would have protected you... We could have prevented this...
He sighs, takes a sip of his coffee, invites you to try the one he had ordered for you and looks into your eyes again, but you can't manage to drink anything at the moment.
-I have to disappear...- he utters heavily with embarrassment in his tone. Even if your job is to catch people like him, you're willing to turn a blind eye for him.
You cannot manage to say anything back... but you know what he's thinking. He takes hold of your hand and tranmits his warmth through his fingers. You wish you could have his whole body around you instead.
-I know it's a lot to ask, but I want you to come with me... Would you?
You can't answer that question... Run away? That's not something you can do right now... He must know that...
He gets closer to you on the booth and takes hold of your waist. His proximity works as a magnet to pull you towards his lips in a passionate kiss that sends your heart on a violent ride. His plump lips, his deliciously warm taste, his sensual aroma, his soft skin, his careful yet arousing touch... It's just too damn good...
The kiss lasts minutes, and it could have lasted hours if he hadn't broken it; but you understand how urgent it is for you to give him your answer.
You hold his masculine chest tightly with both your hands, finally responding with a knot in your throat, and water collecting in your eyes.
-I can't...
-Why am I not surprised...- he answers with disappointment in his voice and it hurts even more when he says it.
-I wish I could...
He gets up without much preamble, but you don't let go of his hand right away. You're not ready to say goodbye yet.
-I have to go now...
You walk with him outside in denial. You never thought it would hurt so much but it does. Are you even making the right choice? He could have made you happy... If you'd never met Taehyung, if Jungkook would have kept his feelings to himself... If... if... if...
-If you ever need anything, or you change your mind... call this number...- he hands you a card with a phone number in it and leaves you without looking back, taking a piece of your heart with him...
As you stand alone on the middle of the sidewalk, with sun beams digging at your skin, you wonder how can this day dare be so pretty, when everything that has ever meant anything to you seems pointless and meaningless.