I Would Have

Dangerous

Songs for this Chapter:

I Live in Patterns- Taylor Janzen, Alice Page
Dangerous- Morgan Wallen

"I don't want to go downtown
Doin' what we used to
Twist the top off another round
Hell, I got enough loose screws
I'm gettin' tired of hurting 'bout you"

*Isadora*

"What do you do when the car won't stop?
When you're doing 180 and you can't get off.
You think you're coming down, it's a fatal crash
The windshield's broke and you can't get it back."

Isadora sings quietly, stirring her pasta. The sauce distributes evenly over the noodles. Sighing, she fills a bowl, adding salt and Parmesan cheese before grabbing a slice of garlic bread. Normal people eat spaghetti at eight in the morning right? She takes her seat on the sofa, tuning back in to Criminal Minds. From her back pocket, her phone dings. She has to force herself to not check it. His words still ring in her head.

She was struggling with work, struggling with herself, after her f-ck up with Tyson. She'd drank a little too much, not that that was an excuse, and Tyson had been far too pushy. Not an excuse by any means. She'd been isolating and avoiding self sabotaging. Her actions disgusted her, his words destroyed her.

Ryot had screamed into her chest, half a bottle of American Honey in. All she could do was rub his shoulders and play with his hair. Offering what little comfort she could.
"A faithful girl would've slept in the bed, or cuddled up with me on the floor. Not went upstairs and f-cked my best friend."

His response killed her. Faithful? Faithful? They were JUST friends with benefits. No strings attached. His response scared her. He'd gotten attached, the one thing she was scared of more than anything.

As a result, she'd been isolating. Trying to lessen his attachment. It wasn't working.

Ryot was still checking on her, refusing to allow her to sabotage or destruct. In a way, she was grateful. In the same sense, Isadora was crushed. She'd hurt him so badly, and he was still checking on her. In no way did she deserve that.

She forces herself to finish half her bowl, appetite gone, before checking her phone.

R- Why are you ignoring me?
I- I'm not.

Yes, she said mentally, I am.

R- You're being quiet and it feels like you're ignoring me.
I- Just trying to minimize casualties. You isolate and self destruct. I isolate and self sabotage. Let me protect you.
R- I can handle it. You're not isolating, you're not shutting me out. I'm not going anywhere.
I- I'm not doing this with you. I'll end up hurting you, and I can't let that happen. I'll snap you later.
R- If you want, yes, but I mean it. I'm not letting you do this hun. You won't hurt me.

Isadora doesn't answer him, throwing her phone aside with a groan.
"So d-mn stubborn." She scrapes her bowl in the trash and drops it into the sink with a clatter. Her phone dings again from the sofa. Huffing, she grabs it.

R- The weather is nice. Wanna go for a ride while the kids are at my moms?
I- ...I'll be waiting.

Of course he'd offer the one thing she'd never turn down. Of course he would. She quickly goes to change, layering a pair of sweatpants over leggings, a sports bra over a t-shirt bra, and a hoodie over her tank top. Her vape gets tucked into her bra along with her key when she hears the familiar rumble outside.