Twenty-Four Hours || k.hj

yeosang

Yeosang,

There are so many ways to start this letter. I guess I'll say that I love you. Even though I lost some of my childhood to you, to protecting and caring for you, I love you.

I wouldn't trade that. I can't imagine being an only child, that sounds terribly lonely :( Even with all the times I swear we almost killed each other, all the times we said we hated each other, I would never trade us.

I did a lot I regret. And, to be honest, I hope you don't remember most of it. I hope you don't remember all the bad I did. I hope you just remember how much I cared for you.

You just called me, actually,  saying happy birthday, saying I'll have "many more", but the thing is, I won't. This is my last birthday. But it was worth it. It was worth it to not lose you at seven years old. It was worth it to save you from the hospital. It was worth it to spend fifteen more years with you.

Watching you grow up, it was crazy. Even though you're only three years younger, I'd watch you turn sixteen and realize how young of an age that truly is.

I sound so old saying this, but you have so much ahead of you.

I hope you pursue Yunho. I hope you become a teacher like you wanted. I hope Wooyoung keeps bringing you out of your comfort zone to experience new things. I hope you believe in yourself. I hope you surround yourself with people who believe in you.

I hope you never let the world scar you. The world can hurt, a lot, and you'll see and hear things you'll wish you never did, but through it all, I hope you stay soft. Stay compassionate and steadfast.

There was an Italian man whose quote I like: "nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as real strength."

Also, my favorite three Rules of Detachment (you can look up the other three, too): "let yourself be who you are, let others be who they are, don't force situations."

Above all, I really, really hope that you are happy with your life. That you are peaceful and content and proud of the human person you will become.

I hope you are truly content in a way I never learned how to be. I hope you are truly happy in the life I gave mine for.

When you forget me tomorrow, I hope you never feel alone. I hope you still feel the love I have for you.

Thank you for being my little brother.

I love you until tulips fall from the moon,

Hyung