FUCKKKKK. I WOKE UP. AND. I. WAS. STILL. 83,9. :(((
I Then ate breakfast even tho my parents werent downstairs. I felt like i had to. Im gonna eat breakfast Every other day from now on. I had
A small orange (15)
A pear (85)
A few sips of smoothie (30)
130
130. Thats more than yesterdays Total. Holy shit >:(. Ill never weigh 37 at the weigh in... :(
I weighed 39,4 after eating. I hate myself. Im never eating again. No more breakfast or lunch. i. Have. To. Lose. More. Weight.
Fuckkkkk.
(101 reads!!! Thank you all so much<33)
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IM OFFICIALLY. A . FAILURE.
I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT.
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I had these extreme hunter pains. I knew i had to eat so i had an Apple and coffee. Acceptable(for dinner) but NoOoOoOoOo it wasnt enough ugh. I BINGED. I fucking. BINGED. I ate at the very least 1500 calories Today.
I didnt have to eat breakfast or dinner Today, Tomorrow, or friday. And no breakfast on saturday. 96 hout fast. I could have done that. God i hate myself. But... I almost passed out
No its just another stupid excuse not to eat. And i will be punished. I will starve these next days. I wont weigh in 37 friday. Ill be father than ever. Ugh, i DISGUST me. I DISGUST people at school. They laterale say im ugly and horrible and disgusting. I guess i deserve it. Not even my best friend understands. Nobody does. Im not even an ana. I eat too much. I wont eat for the next 72 hours. Promise. Next week when ill weigh ill be 37 at the very least. I have to.
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Okay, i called down a bit.
Plans: 72 hours fast. Drink allowed: tea, coffee, diet coke, water.
!!!!if i feel like passing out, eat a piece of fruit!!!!!
Ignore honger pains.
YOU ARE READING
Self destruction to perfection
Literatura faktuim constantly trying to find a balance between my eating disorder and recovery, causing my weight to just go up. But not anymore. Ana is my best friend and ill stick with her this time. I will NOT be weak anymore. I will be strong. (A/N; I DO NOT PR...
