Zayn
Who knew making animal noises to make my little sunshine laugh, is where id be right now? Definitely not me. As I sit here and get lost in her giggles, I can see myself with at least 2 more babies. I want a big family. Game nights and charades. I want it all. Im happy right now and proud of myself for not needing to be with someone to just not be alone. Its just me now and I've learned to not be afraid of the solitude. Id be lying if I said I didn't want a person. My person. Someone to fall asleep next to. Someone to write love songs about. Some to laugh with and love unconditionally with every last fiber in my being. Never the less, its not the time for that yet and that is okay.
As I get up to get a snack ready for her, I hear the doorbell ring. "Ill get it!" I shout so the nanny doesn't need go get up.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't my favorite play date buddy."
"Hey Pez. How are you? Come on in, Kai is in the playroom with Daisy if you want to leave this handsome stud in there and help with the snacks" I say while tickling Perrie's baby. I love that kid. Maybe because I can make him laugh and smile like theres no tomorrow. Makes me feel useful. Ugh, I want another baby!
"Sounds good to me. You got any wine? Cause I need to relax."
"This is supposed to be a play date Pez. No alcohol allowed." I tease.
"Oh come on, i need a pick me up. Im exhausted and I miss my baby daddy. You know, it's been almost 3 weeks since I've been able to touch my man?! I am frustrated and depressed. Give me a break!"
"Okay, okay. Fair enough. Here." I say as I pour a generous amount of red in an oversized while glass and slide it over to her.
"Perfect... mmmm....that is perfect. Which reminds me, this gives me hints of Hawaii memories... remember?..." as Pez gets lost in her wine I can't help but to drift off into my thoughts. Hawaii... shit. The summer Perrie and I decided that it wasn't fair to force each other into a relationship out of fear of being alone and rejected. We spent that summer becoming friends. Real friends. I told her, all about him that summer. Wine, tears, crappy romcoms and superhero movies. Engulfed in all our emotions- "Z, Zayn! EARTH TO ZAYNIE BOO!"
"Sorry... my bad. I got a bit distracted... anyways. How's the hubby? Is he making you the happiest women in the world? Or what?" Perrie watched me carefully before responding.
"Well of course. I wouldn’t have let the Zayn Malik out of my grasp if it weren't for my true prince charming. He is great. We're great... but onto you. What's going on with you? You and Gigi going to finally tie the knot? Or are you going to mope over your curly haired boy for the rest of your life? And don't even try to lie to me Zayn Javadd Malik. I know that look. You're missing him, aren't you?"
"Pez. Stop it. No. Just no. Im not, i don't even think about him anymore. And you know Gigi and I are just co-parents. She deserves someone who would hang the moon for her!-"
"You mean like you would for him..."
"Pez drop it. There's nothing there. Nada. Okay? In fact, im going to a party which he will be attending too and im okay with it."
"Wow that's real progressive Malik. So you're finally out of the woods, huh? So then I can finally start to set you up on blind dates????"
"I knew it! I knew you were the mutual friend that was giving out my number to those girls inviting me out for a drink! You little-"
"Nuh uh uh, i will confess to no such thing!! However.....you need to get out there man. You're not getting any younger. Come on Z, you need to get laid at least."
"Okay, that's enough wine for you. Let's go play with our little humans."
"Party pooper. This conversation isn't over!" She shouts after me, as I run to the playroom.
We spent the rest of the day talking in high pitched voices and rolling around the play mat like there was no tomorrow. You see Pez and I, we've had a bumpy ride but in the end we are platonic soul mates. She is the extrovert and I am the introvert. We complete each other and somehow our lives came together in the most harmonious way. Ironic how her and Gigi turned out to be my anchors. They've grounded me. Funny how life goes, ironically while trying to have someone by my side just for the sake of not being alone, I learned to be okay with my solitude because those beautiful women deserve better and being my comfort wasn't acceptable. I wouldn't allow it.
"Thanks for having us over Zee, ill text you for the next play date. And hey listen, please let me introduce you to someone! Nothing has to come out of it, just go out, get some social interaction, take in the awkwardness, drink a little. Be normal for once, you hermit crab."
"Holy shit Pez, breathe! Will ya?-"
"Ughh you're so frustrating! Come on you-"
"ALRIGHT! JESUS. Alright. Fine."
"Wait. Really?! Oh yay! What a happy day. Okay, ok, ok. Im going to give her your number. You better not dodge her calls Zee!!"
"Have a little faith in me Perrie! Jeez. Now go, let me take a nap. I love you babe. Ill see you later. "
And with that I retreated back to my daughter's room for a fulfilling cuddle.
