Harry
After getting lost in conversation and doing my absolute best to not get lost is Zayn's eyes, I was snapped out of my heavenly golden trance when the door opened and I hear my name being called.
"Haz? You okay behb?"
"Huh...oh yeah, no I'm great thanks. Just got lost in a work thought. Is all. Sorry."
"Oh, no worries. I was just saying, we should get inside. Its getting chilly out here and Lou will kill us if we don't go in there and mingle."
"Yeah, you're right. We have plenty of time to catch up... later... just us? Maybe? I mean if you'd like. If not its cool, I get it. You must be bu-"
"Haz...I'd love that, yeah? I'll make time. I told you... I miss you Hazza." He looks at me with those sultry eyes and every word made butterflies erupt within me, because I knew. I knew and felt them. His words, the weight they carried. He'd always make time for me, always. I hadn't even noticed his hand on my elbow and God how thankful I was for his hand. It was the only things keeping me from floating away.
"Yeah, okay. Me too. I miss you too Zee."
"Sounds good, now let's head inside. This jacket eases my social anxiety, like my teddy bear but its not very conventional for this breeze. Ha"
"Ha, I know Zee. Let's go."
We walked back inside heading to the living room where Louis seemed to be telling some kind of story. "You want a drink?"
"I'd appreciate it, yes. Thanks Harry."
"I gotcha"
I made my way to the kitchen, while Zayn made his way to the living room. I was getting us drinks bit couldn't help watch him. Every step he took, his smile and effortless gently touch to let the people he was passing know he was acknowledging them. He always thought he was awkward in social situations but really he was just so affectionate and gentle. He needed to focus on one person at a time or else he felt ingenious and in that, it took a lot from him to give himself like that to so many people. He sat on one of the couches and as he turned a bit, he caught me staring and I quickly looked down. Jesus, get a hold of yourself Harry. Friendship. Is all. Friends. Nothing more and that's enough. As I walked back to him, Gigi came out of nowhere and plopped right next to him. Fuck. That's my spot. She settled right into his side. Head on his shoulder. It looked so good. To be able to enjoy his closeness. He turned slightly to look right and down at her. He tucked a stand of her hair behind her ear and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to scream at the affectionate he gave so darn effortlessly. I wondered if they still slept together? I mean they may not be in a relationship but fuck it, if I was her I'd take any ounce of intimacy he offered.
"Ahem"
"Ken, don't start."
"They're fucking hot, huh? Too bad he decided they were better as friends. She still loves him... hopes he'll come back..."
"None, of my business Kenny. I don't care. He's a free man."
"Sure. Hazzy boy. I'm just gossiping is all. That ice is going to melt from the jealousy radiating off of you rn, BTW. Just sayinnnnn..."
"You're full of it, you know... ha" I said walking away and flipping her off behind my back. "Love you too babe" I heard Kendall yell as I walked off. Once I was close enough, I tapped Zayn on the shoulder and when he looked up at me, my breath hitched. God those golden eyes under those eyelashes, just asking to be gazed into. Fuck. How can someone be so darn perfect?
"Thanks Haz, come sit- G mind scooting over babe-
"Oh no you don't have to do that, ill grab a cha-
"Na, that's not comfy, come sit, there's plenty of space"
But not enough of you, I thought.
"Alright, thanks mate."
Surprisingly we fit on the two seater couch easily but I couldn't help almost twitch at the closeness between Zayn and I. I could feel the heat radiating off of him, his smell, his energy you just want to indulge in. Our thighs were pressed together and I couldn't help but to want to climb on his lap and make him give me his attention. This was going to be hard. Seeing his as a friend was going to take a whole lot of effort from me, but I'll be dammed if I don't at least try.
"You're spacing behb, you okay?"
Shit. Shit. Shit. How does he do that?!
"Yeah I'm good, just daydreaming. You know me..."
"Sure...that's one lucky girl. Who is she?"
You. Who else?! Just you. I wanted to scream.
"Ha. No nothing like that. Im just a baby. Girls are ew."
"Oh yeah? Thought you were all man now..."
"Oh shuddit Malik"
"Haha, just messing Haz. You seem distracted. You don't have to stay, you know. I didnt mean to make you feel like you needed to stay with me. I know you love to socialize. Im good, I got Gi here. Go on, get loose pretty boy."
And im deceased. What the fuck. Pretty boy?! Fucking A... I know he is just teasing but damn. Maybe I do need to put some distance between us. My body need to process all this Zayn, im experiencing. And when did everyone scatter from the living room? Jeez, I'm out of it.
"Yeah, im going to go talk to Louis for a bit. Ill see you. It was nice catching up a bit... ill text you"
"Sure thing Haz, later"
As I get up to leave, i feel a bit empty. I forgot what is was like to walk away from him. Such a bittersweet type of thing, glad to have been able to indulge but sad its ending.
I turn one last time to look at him, just one more mental picture before I get shitfaced and forget about this tomorrow.
And he's gone? Where did he go? And Gigi is gone too? Did they? Did he just push me away? So he could go get off with her? What the fuck. No. Stop it Harry. Hes a free man. And now that I think about it, if I don't remember this tomorrow, that's okay. It's better this way...
