Zayn
"I'm going to call Daisy, check on our sunshine, brb" Gigi whispers, bringing me out of my trance.
"Sure G, thanks"
I don't know much longer I can last here, I missed everyone and I'm so happy to see Niall and Liam. And gosh, it feels so heartwarming to be able to reconnect with my dear Louis. But I can't help stop thinking about him. Why does he have to look so good. I want to touch him, kiss him, make him melt under my touch. I want to shower him with attention and love. Shit. Shit. Shit. I need to have some self control. I can't go back to this. These are different times. We've grown. I need to make an effort to be his friend. It's been so long, he looks healthy and content I refuse to ruin that for him. But maybe a friendship wouldn't hurt, I do miss him, haz my best friend, haz my vault full of secrets, I know he will take to his grave, haz my cuddly, silly, caring best friend. He will never be mine but I can be happy with his friendship. I need to try in the name of maturity.
As I walk over to the table for a refill, I notice him out of the corner of my eye, making his way back inside. I don't fully look at him but I can already feel and see his anxiety. He is about to rush past me, but I turn around, towards his direction and catch his elbow with my hand, bringing him to a full stop, he stares at my hand on his elbow. "Are you okay haz?" He finally meets my eyes, and it is as if my touch is fire and im holding him hostage, shit, "my bad!" I say and snap my hand away. "I'm fine, Zayn. Just not up for partying tonight. Im sure lou will understand. Im gonna get going" he is so uncomfortable and I hate it. I can feel his slight panic and I so badly want to grab his hands, interlock our fingers and bring our foreheads together and just breath each other in. I want to calm him, "Can I steal 10 minute of your time, before you go?" I ask, hoping I don't sound as desperate as I feel. "I'm not sure mate, I really should-"
"oh come on haz, please" I say as I place my hand on his shoulder.
He looks into my eyes and I see him relax a bit, "Okay, alright but do you mind if we step outside? I need fresh air"
"No not at all, let's go" I start to lead the way when G comes into my view and she makes her way over to me, "she is sleeping, and perfectly fine- oh hi harry"
She stops mid sentence to acknowledge his presence and theres something in his eyes that I can't pin point but I dont like it all and as I'm about to respond to G he says "Hello Gigi, good to see you. Excuse me, Zayn ill be outside" he responds to her with his award winning smile and walks past me to head outside. "Thanks G, I was getting anxious about leaving her, its been a minute. I'm going to meet Harry, ill see you." I say and give her a pat on the shoulder, "yeah me too, well have fun Zee" she says in that playful tone and I just roll my eyes at her and head outside.
As I make my way outside and close the door behind me he says "you make a beautiful couple Zayn, I'm happy that you found someone to love" and as genuine as he sounds and looks, I can't help but to see the discomfort in his eyes, is he? No. Could he be? No, I'm delusional. He can't be, jealousy is not something you get for someone you have no feelings for and I know he doesn't. "Oh thanks, but G and I we're not together like that. We co-parent and she's my dear friend, and I do love her because she gave me the real love of my life, Kai. But we actually ended right before we found out she was pregnant. We just never found it necessary to announce it." I respond to him and watch him part his lips slightly in what seems like shock and I can't help but nervously chuckle at his face. "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I just assumed, you two look so, I don't know-"
"Close?" I interrupt him
"Yeah." And all of a sudden he looks down at the floor as if it's the most interesting thing in the world.
"Well you know we have a kid together so we managed to get past our disagreements and get along"
"Wow, that's great Z"
And I freeze because I haven't heard him call me that in years and It sounds so intimate for whatever reason.
"Zayn!"
"Sorry! I went somewhere else, haha. Listen I just wanted to say sorry for avoiding you these past few years, I was in a rough place and I would really like to be your friend again. I miss you."
"Friend? Oh yeah, are you kidding? I'd love that. I- I did- well I mean I have missed you too. And don't be sorry. I get it."
We stood there in silence just smiling at each other, both finally at ease after being anxious all day. I could make this work, I have my best friend in my life again, my deal Lou doesn't hate me anymore, the boys are here and I have my sweet Kai. Everything seems to be perfect and I couldn't be happier that this is my reality.
"Congrats on the new Album by the way, it's so you. Maybe we can hang out soon and you can spill all the dorky quirks about how it came to life."
"Hey! Dorky? Really mate? Im a man now, no dorkyness here-" he says as he turns to put his glass down and nearly trips over his own feet "not a word, out of you Zayn. Anywayssss, id love to share my genius with you" he responds and I roll my eyes at his cuten- I mean how much of a total dork he is.
"Great, let's do it then."
