Josuke: Look, I may not be a saint, but its not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought of returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet on the ground.
Rohan: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think you definitely did that.
——————
Narancia: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Fugo: Wasn't Mista with you?
Mista: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
——————
Fugo: Narancia and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish eachother's-
Narancia: Sentences!
Fugo: Don't interupt me.
——————
Rohan: I went through an entire character arc during quarantine.
Rohan: I became more evil if you're curious.
Koichi: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
Rohan: I'm going to get worse on purpose.
——————
Pucci: Do you really think you'd notice if someone didn't cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Like how many times have you passed something on the street and just didn't notice it?
F.F. : Stay woke monsterfuckers you're love is out there!
Pucci: Y'know what? Not my point but I'm glad I could be an inspiration.
——————
Lisa Lisa: Where were you two?
Caesar: Joseph was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Joseph: Well, they shouldn't say "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.
Caesar: Joseph, you ate a chair.
——————
Fugo: Narancia and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us.
Bucciarati: *sighs* What did Narancia do?
Fugo: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into the window and...
Narancia: Who wants a steering wheel?
——————
Abbacchio: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying "Haven't decided yet" is always a good answer.
——————
Narancia: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Fugo: Narancia, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.
——————
Joseph: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier then you
Caesar: 10 timed 0 is still 0 though
Joseph: Jokes on you, I can't do math
——————
Polnareff: Okay, truth or dare?
Kakyoin: Truth.
Polnareff: How many hours have you slept this week?
Kakyoin:
Kakyoin:...Dare.
Polnareff: Go to bed.
Kakyoin: I don't like this game.
——————
Rohan: Name a more iconic duo then my crippling fear of failure and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Reimi: You and me!
Rohan: *tearing up* Okay.
——————
Kira: Have I gone too far?
Reimi: No, no, no. You went too far about twelve years ago. Now you're going to hell.
——————
Bucciarati: I actually have a black belt.
Abbacchio: In what, karate?
Bucciarati: No, Gucci.
——————
Giorno, walking into his room: Hello, people who aren't supposed to be here.
Mista: Hey.
Abbacchio: Hi.
Fugo: Hello.
Narancia: Hey!
Giorno: I gave you the key to my room for emergencies only!
Bucciarati: They were out of Doritos.
——————
Bucciarati: You have to apologize to Giorno.
Abbacchio: Fine.
Abbacchio: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.
——————
Narancia: I turned out perfectly fine!
Fugo: Narancia, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.
Narancia: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!
——————
Jonathan to Dio: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
Jonathan: *punches wall*
Jonathan:
Jonathan: Take me to the hospital.
——————
Josuke: Hey, you want some leftovers?
Okuyasu: What's that?
Josuke: You've never had leftovers?
Okuyasu: No, because I'm not a quitter.
——————
Rohan: Here's some advice.
Koichi: I didn't ask for any.
Rohan: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me.
——————
Josuke: Welcome, fellow idiots
Okuyasu: Hello, Josuke
Josuke: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Okuyasu: You underestimate me
——————
Josuke: Bro... I think you failed the english exam.
Okuyasu: Unpossible.
——————
Avdol: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Kakyoin: Rude.
Jotaro: That's fair.
Joseph: Not again.
Polnareff: Are you going to want this back?
——————
Abbacchio: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Fugo: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Narancia: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.
Mista: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Giorno: What the fuck is wrong with you people?
——————
*Gang reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Mista: Thanks fam!
Narancia: oh no
Bruno: *cries* I love you too
Giorno: Sounds fake but okay
Fugo: *A flustered mess*
Abbacchio: can i get a refund
——————
Mista: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Bruno: What?
Abbacchio: That you're a child.
Narancia: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
——————
Bucciarati: Yes, I'm adopting Trish and you cowards can't tell me no.
——————
Pucci: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Dio: What changed your mind?
Pucci: Oh, I still think you're a bitch, I've just grown to like that about you.
——————
*when the La Squada drops food*
Formaggio: Eh, oh well.
Illuso: FIVE-SECOND RULE!
Ghiacchio: FUCK!
Risotto: *just gets more food*
Pesci: *drops to his knees and mourns the food*
Melone: *eats the food off the ground*
——————
Polnareff: Never gonna make you cry!
Kakyoin: Never gonna say goodbye!
Joseph: Never gonna tell a lie—
Jotaro: I will hurt you.
——————
Johnny: Gyro, there's a monster under my bed and it's really ugly.
Dio, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.
——————
Joseph: Talk dirty to me, baby~
Suzie Q: The dishes.
Joseph: Wh-
Suzie Q: They've been there for 4 days and it's your turn to wash them. You still haven't cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.
——————
Jolyne: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-
Emporio: It was me...
Jolyne: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.
——————
Hayato: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
Kosaku/Kira: Fake?
——————
Ghiacchio: *seductively takes off glasses*
Ghiacchio: Wow...
Melone: *blushes* Haha... what?
Ghiacchio: You're really fucking blurry.
——————
Dio: Did you like the food I made?
Giorno: No, not really
Dio: But I put my heart and soul into it!
Giorno: No onder it tastes cold and dead.
Bananapotatofish for the filler chapter i have like 18 drafts and idk how to progress on any of the so yeah. -3-
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JJBA Oneshots (pls read a/n)
FanfictionI have gotten too invested in this show to not write this Tryin to make it aesthetic even tho i have the humor of a middle schooler (Contains spoilers. If you haven't finished parts 1-7, you will get spoiled. Also please don't spoil me for part 8 an...
