OR MAYBE I do. I mean, I don't care that much, but I feel a little remorse when the person who shares the room with me gives me a weird look when she opens the door at fucking 5 AM (this is why I'm always sleep-deprived).
I pretend to ignore it and slip under the covers, but she doesn't get the hint (I don't think she ever will). "Hey," she says and I take the cue to insert my AirPods. Fuck me. "Uh, Quinn's here... for you." She says it in this weird accent of hers, which really ticks me off. It reminds me of those Indian parodies with all their weird accents.
But what really ticks me off is the way she finds it unbelievable that a guy would be looking for me. "Bitch," I mutter.
"Hey. Aarya." His voice jolts me and I swear I spring from under the covers. "Hey," he chuckles a little, but I just remain serious and he quickly becomes solemn. "Sorry. Uh, can I come in?" I don't say anything, but I guess the other person nods her head or something because he steps in (I can literally hear the creak). "Hey, so."―The door slams behind him: this big fucking loud thud, and I squirm.―"I know, right? All the loud sounds are so annoying. They really get on my nerves too."
I admit I give him a surprised look, but then I realize everyone feels the same way. I'm not special. But why the hell can't I be good at something no one else is good at?
"Uh, did you come here to give me back those razors?"
"No," he laughs a little, which I find insulting yet I don't say anything. Why the hell don't I say anything? The moment's passed anyway. "No, I, uh, just wanted to check up on you."
I scrunch my eyebrows. "Uh, you could've done that later and I don't need to be checked up on or whatever."
"I know, I know. I just wanted to see what's going on."
"I'm... not harming myself thanks to you taking all those razors," I say sarcastically.
"I know, yeah." He nods his head and I arrange to go back to bed, hoping he'll get the message. But he doesn't. He remains put―must be really awkward for him―until he asks, "Do you wanna get breakfast?"
"Uh," I stop fluffing my pillows, "I don't really eat this early."
"Oh, yeah. I meant around seven."
"Yeah, I don't really eat breakfast. That's what I meant."
He scrunches his eyebrows. "You don't eat breakfast? Isn't that, like, the most important meal of the day?"
"Uh, not really." He looks at me. "Yeah, I mean, eating three meals isn't necessary." He's still looking at me, so I nod my head, hoping he'll get the gist to leave.
"Uh, so," I start, beginning to lie back on the bed. He nods his head.
"Oh, yeah." He starts for the door. "I'll see you later."
"See you later?" I scrunch my eyebrows. I thought we just agreed or at least acknowledged that we won't be doing these weird check-ups anymore.
✤✤✤
I'M NOT SURE if the Universe is playing tricks on me, but as soon as I sit down―literally a second later―Quinn approaches me. I'm talking with my mom, which he doesn't realize (I'm pretty sure this guy thinks I'm talking to myself. Damn, this guy really underestimates me), but when he does, his eyes widen in shock.
"Oh, shit. I didn't know."
I nod my head. The woman already hung up. She heard someone coming and she told me "speak to them instead of me. Make friends, Aarya."
"Yeah, with a guy who's paid to care? Na karma, yaar," I told her.
Even though Quinn did seem apologetic, he doesn't follow up on that behavior. "I thought you didn't eat this early."
"It's one."
"I know, I know. I was just joking." He sets his bag on the chair next to the one that he's apparently going to sit on―fuck me―and starts to open his own lunch. I open my mouth to speak my thoughts. "I hate sitting alone and I just saw you sitting alone, so I thought, you know, I would give you company."
"I like sitting alone," I tell him. He stops eating for a minute.
"Oh, well, I thought I'd give you company." The way he says it makes me feel remorse. Only a little, though. But then it vanishes. "You should eat too," he tells me and I nod my head a little.
I don't like it when people tell me what to do, yet I start to eat a fry (on my own willingness) as he starts talking. "So do you always eat alone or is it like a one-time thing?"
"Uh, why does that matter?"
"I don't know, I just wanna know."
"Always," I mutter, hoping he won't hear it, but he does.
"Oh." Then there's silence―my favorite except for all that fucking background noise. "Do you remember during the Halloween costume thing where you went after that other person?"
I nod my head, smiling a little. "Yeah. Uh, I, yeah."
"I was literally telling them―the judges―like to let it slide."
My smile disappears. "What?"
"No, I mean, in a good way." I remain silent. "I mean, like, I liked that―that was pretty badass of you to just not follow the rules of society, you know?" I attempt to focus somewhere else. "I mean it. Genuinely."
"Um, yeah," and then I make up a lie that I have a class to go to and he lets me go. Should've figured―that's how people are these days.
