Lovesick

Chapter 23

Maybe it was a figment of my imagination, and my hormones were thrown into overdrive. Did I just pull her into my lap, or did she willingly straddle me? My hands circle around her as my long fingers press into her lower back. Our lips part and I surge my tongue deep into her welcoming mouth, tasting every space I could find. It's so sweet. So good, driving me close to the dangerous zone. I hear her whimper, and she starts fighting me. I reluctantly grab ahold of her hips and glide her most intimate part over my throbbing need. She released her hold on my shirt and tore her mouth free from mine. I was panting, and so was she. She grabbed my jaw with left hand, "You," she rasped, "are my dark side. It's you. It's always been you. Even back then. I had nightmares you come to my window, like a thief in the night, and take me like this." Kai whimpered, "Kit Kate, please don't tell him that. You promised you'd take it to your grave." She ignored him, her eyes all over me. Her sensual caress moved up my cheek and into my dark hair, "I would have let you in then...if I'd only known. You could have come to me." My libido jumped. Were my ears hearing correctly? Or was my mind only playing tricks on me? Was my sweet Red really in my lap, her fingers in my hair, and is she saying the things I've always longed to hear? I groaned my eyes weighted with sheer lust for her. My fingers squeezed her hips, hauling her closer against me. I wasn't imagining this. This was the real thing. She was here. In my lap. In my arms. Her green eyes enlarged with passion and desire. Yes, for once, it's all for me. She bit on her lower lip,  teasing, like she always does, and rested her forehead to mine, and I felt her sensational breath on my face. I felt more alive than I have in weeks, months. She rasped, "God, I feel you." Kai inhaled sharply, looking dead on on us, "No, Kit Kate. Don't say that to him. What are you doing? Think of Gyu. Think of the baby." I wanted to scream for him to shut up, and to stop putting thoughts into her head. Stop sidetracking her from loving on me. I just witnessed her cutting eyes off to the side as though she were looking back at him. I didn't like it, and I made it known. I quickly grabbed her locks, twisting them around my long fingers, and tugged roughly, causing her chin to lift. I growled loudly, "I want you to feel all of me, shattering your precious, perfect world. Pouring you into oblivion." She grinned, "I'm ready, Soobin. Surprise me." Tae closed in on us, "That's it! I've heard enough! Seen enough! Let her go, Soobs!"
I remained seated and I held Kate close. I was not letting go this time. She came to me. She stroked the back of my head and her breath against the shell of my ear only made me realize I was not giving up without a fight. She's my beautiful trauma. Hmmm...where have I heard that phrase before? Oh my god. It's her song. Gyu always said she was his beautiful trauma. Spare me, please. We are so wrecked together. Somehow I feel there's more beyond the beauty she beholds. It's because of her that I would stand inside my hell, and
hold the hand of death. She doesn't  know how far I'd go to ease this precious ache. She doesn't know how much I'd give, or how much I can take just to reach her. I muster the words as I bury my fingers of both hands into her silky locks, "Crawl inside me, Red. I'm tired of giving away promises I know I can't keep. Nothing fills the blackness that has seeped into my chest. I need you in my blood. I'm forsaking everyone else." She squirmed on my lap and I heard a whimper escape her lips. I rested my forehead to hers, and I was just about to kiss her mouth that beckoned, that called out from mine when she was ripped from my arms. My nostrils flared and my eyes darkened at my best friend who held Kate safely behind him. I jumped off the piano bench and kicked it aside out of anger. I dropped to my knees, swiped my right hand across the floor and banged it with my fist. The veins popped from the sides of my neck. The monster inside me raged as I glared up at him, at Kai, even at her. It took all I could do not to tear her from his clutches. How dare him come between us! She came to me! He has no right to intervene! I wasn't hurting her! Tae started coldly, "Go ahead, Soobs. Pound the floor. Beat the crap out of me, but there's no way I'm letting you have your way with her. She's not yours. I don't care how much she led you on...I will not allow it!" I sensed the jealousy in my best friend, and for once I saw his love for her. Wtf! There was no way in hell I'd let him have her either! I'd perused her way too long to give up now. Kate grimaced at me, "I didn't. I'm sorry," she mouthed. I panted, my chest heaving, "I'm coming for you!" I was trying my damnedest to get a reign in on my anger. I wanted her. I was horny. Frustrated. And I needed that sweet release. This was far from being over. Kate needed me. She yearned for me I felt it all over the second her eyes locked with mine. I pushed up off the floor and flew at my best friend. Tae shoved Kate out of harms way, "Kai, take her to Gyu. Leave us to battle this out." Kate cried out, "Soobin, no. You don't have to do this." I grabbed ahold of Tae's collar and slammed his back against the wall, "Who the f*** are you to come between me and my heaven?!" He shook his head at me, "Go ahead, Soobs...Hit me." He dared me with a smug smile. Kate shrilled, clinging helplessly to Kai, turning her back and burying her face against his chest, "Soobin, no!" Tae directed his eyes at her. I grabbed him by the jaw, "Don't look at her, you backstabbing son of bitch!" He lifted his chin, standing his ground, "Yes, I admit it. I do have feelings for her. Feelings to save her from your tortuous claws."  I looked at my sweet Red, my grip tightening on my best friend. I caught her peeking at me, and my heart bottomed out. Tears brimmed my eyes, and I shook Tae, "I fucking love her!" He nodded the heartfelt understanding, "I know, Soobs. It cuts like a knife to love someone you know you can't have." I grunted, "I can have her, and I will have her!" I watched in agony as Kai whisked my sweet Red out of the room. I wanted to chase after her. We had something here. Something we hadn't before. Was she really leading me on? I prayed I wasn't being played a fool. All of it felt so real, so right. Then Tae had to go and remind me that she belonged to another. Damn how I felt! I took one hard look at my friend, and pulled back my fist and drove it clear across his jaw, sending Tae into a crumbling heap on the floor. He just glared up at me, grabbing his left jaw. No words were spoken. Only our eyes. Fuck! I never thought I'd fight my best friend over the woman I love. He was supposed to stand with me not against me. We made that pact years ago. What changed? Kate. Kate changed everything. Tae shifted on the floor, "Did you think you'd accomplish anything, Soobs?" Sadness washed over my face. Alone. Is that what everyone wanted for me? "Kate's  my sense of closure. My peace, Tae. My peace in this living nightmare I'm consumed by. What's so hard to understand about that? And why are you so against my happiness?" I chided.  He answered, sitting up, "Soobs, I've never been against you being happy. I just don't agree with how you approach the situation. You know Kate's out of your reach. You know how much Gyu loves her. Yet, you're determined to destroy their love for the sake of saving your own ass. Buddy, it doesn't work that way. Now I don't know what the hell that was that just happened, but that's not like Kate. Maybe with Junnie or Gyu, but not with you. I can't ask you what it is about her because I've witnessed it myself, but there's a time and a place for your actions. And now is not it. You have to restrain yourself." I looked at him heavily through my long eyelashes, "But you don't understand?" He came to me, laying his palms on my shoulders, "Then help me, Soobs. I don't want to send you to the crazy house. I know from experience from before what a shitshow that place was for you." I apologized noticing the bruise forming on his jaw, "I'm sorry I hit you. I just get so angry sometimes, and you pulled her from me." Tae nodded, "Think nothing of it. I know, but you were getting a bit too carried away, and Kate...well, she wasn't helping. You need to get head on straight. We have a career at stake here. You need to forget the girl, and move passed all this. Or this group is going collapse with all the weight you're putting on us." Me? Why were they always pointing fingers at me? He gave my shoulders a squeeze, "Soobs, I know what you're thinking, and I still stand by everything I said years ago. I will support you in whatever decision you make, but decision cannot be Kate. You need to leave her out of this. You've tormented her enough." I heard my best friend loud and clear, but my thoughts were foggy from the medicine I'd taken. I grimaced, shaking my head, "I can't, Tae. I can't move forward without her. She's the key to release me from my prison cell. If I want my life to have any kind of clarity then that clarity is Kate. I knew it then, and I know it now. I need her by my side.  You said she led me on? Did she really? Was she playing mind games with me? Was all that just for show? Just to see how far I'd go?"