CYPHER | BTS

31: FUKUOKA

- T H I R T Y  O N E-

June 28, 2020
Sunday
Concert day, day 1

📍Fukuoka, Japan
Performing at: Fukuoka PayPay Dome

༺❀༻

Choi June

Sometimes I wish I could be one of those girls that could handle the life they're meant to live.

I wouldn't shy away from the mirror. Wouldn't feel the need to throw up at the sight of my scars in the reflection. Wouldn't struggle to rid of the feeling of getting stabbed every time I saw something even remotely sharp.

I'd move on, live my life without the mental images of all that went wrong in Daegu floating through my mind.

If I was one of those girls, I wouldn't lift my shirt every time I'm in a bathroom, tracing my fingers over the stitches that are trying to heal from nearly two weeks ago. I wouldn't almost break down at the sight of it.

It's harder with Bomi gone too now. Cypher had done exactly what they said they would. They sent her away. Some remote location in the rural parts of South Korea—or so they claim— with only a small group of bodyguards stationed there to protect her. Of course she didn't want to go, but she didn't have a choice. Manny and the makeup artists think she landed a job opportunity and had to leave mid tour.

For a while now, I try to look on the brighter side of things. Daegu gave everyone a break from concerts—if eleven days can be considered that. No more arm sling for me. Wounds are healing nicely.

But even then, I'm not doing too well. Since when have I ever, though?

"June?" A muffled voice sounds from the other side of the door. I pull my shirt back down my body, concealing the history on my skin, and then I flush the toilet for extra measure, turning the sink on afterward to act like I'd just finished using the bathroom.

"Coming!" Shows on in thirty. I should get back out there.

When I open the door, Sukki stands there, a smile on her bright face. She hands me a cold coffee, the straw peeking out with the wrapper still attached at the end of it.

I take it, thank her too, and then sip it as we head toward the dressing room together. Not too far considering I'd been hogging the backstage bathroom.

"You sure you feel okay? You don't look so good," Sukki says, examining my every move as we walk side by side. Just earlier, when I excused myself to the bathroom, she'd asked if I was okay. Commented on how I looked a bit pale and wondered if I'd been getting enough sleep.

I give her a smile, though. "I'm okay. Don't worry about me." I'm okay. I can be okay.

Sukki buys it. She has to. She doesn't know me well enough to not.

When we make it to the dressing room, the members are already here, their makeup artists working on their looks for the show tonight already.

Sukki and I part ways, her going to Jungkook—who's been in a foul mood ever since Bomi left—and me going to Yoongi.

I set the iced coffee down on the vanity table in front of Yoongi. Bunch my hair in my hands and tie it back and away from my face. I can feel his eyes on me through the reflection of the mirror as I sort out my supplies on the table, but I choose to ignore it for now.