Pretty in Blue

True Desire

The Cowper's ball

Where is he. Penelope wondered. Shouldn't the Bridgertons' be here by now. Why is he running late. She needs for him to be here. She can't just go seduce a Lord without the watchful eye of her teacher. That would be so improper.

Cressida Cowper comes up to her. About to have some cruel jokes spill over her mouth, she stops in time when Colin also approaches. Saving Penelope from humiliation.

"Mr. Bridgerton, I see that I have a few cards open for some dances care to sign." Cressida says while trying to give Colin her card. 

"No, thank you. I'm not in the mood for dancing tonight." He replies, trying not roll his eyes. He hates Cressida Cowper. She is horribly mannered.

She walks away in shame.

"Colin. How glad I am to see that you showed up." Pen gleefully says.

"May we get started on my seduction tactics." She says whispering the last part.

"Oh, um. Yes, I suppose." 

"Great! I was thinking of targeting Lord Debling tonight. He seems kind and well mannered. How about it." She looks to Colin for a nod of approval. 

"I suppose that will do." he answers.

"Okay. He's standing near the plants. I do believe he is trying to blend in with them so that he may go unnoticed which has actually been working for him thus far. You shall stand near the table of biscuits. Where you will be able to hear and see both me and the Lord. Alright. You first go towards the table." she says while tapping his shoulder lightly to indicate he needs to move. 

Now that Colin is in place she walks towards her target. 

"Hello Lord Debling." She says which surprises him a bit. 

"Oh, hello. Miss uh--"

"Featherington" She answers.

"Right, Featherington." He says, obviously trying to avoid further conversation.

"I do so love the lemonade they make for balls, don't you?" Penelope ask.

"I-uhh guess so?" He says questionably.

"What is your favorite type of fruit?" She blurts out trying to keep the conversation going.

"I guess, maybe, strawberries."

Okay. This is the moment. She prepares herself.

"Oh, yes. Strawberries are indeed a favorite of mine also." She says while fanning herself the way mama showed Prudence last season. Batting her eyelashes slowly and puffing her chest out just enough so that Lord Debling takes notice.

He clears his throat and then asks her for a dance. 

It worked. It really worked. As she is being guided to the floor, she gives Colin a big smile. Only Colin isn't smiling. He looks angry. Did she do something wrong. The music starts and she really does enjoy her dance and discussion with Lord Debling. He is very kind and handsome. 

After the dance, they bid each other farewell. She starts to go to where Colin is but he turns and leaves out towards the Cowper study. She is confused. Is he wanting to teach her a better way of flirting?

She follows after him. She is so happy she could nearly die. She danced with someone other than the Bridgerton brothers. She finally did it. Colin was right. She has to give him some credit to her success. Maybe she shall forgive him and once again become good friends. 

She opens the door to Lord Cowper's study and she see's Colin hunched over the desk. 

"What are you doing in here? Do you wish to teach me a new lesson?" She asks.

He turns and looks at her. He then says, "Close the door."

His voice doesn't sound very happy. 

"Did you see me! I got Debling to ask me to dance almost immediately. You were right about this lesson. It really did work." She says, bursting with happiness.

"I did see you." he says

He approaches her slowly. His gaze fixed on hers. 

"You shall never use that technique again. Do you understand?" He says roughly.

"No, I don't. It worked, did it not?"

"Pen, I will not have you flaunting yourself around like a- like a."

"Like a what." She demands.

"A crazy sensual lady. You'll only attract the wrong type of attention."

"You were the one that taught me this way of charming." She bites back. 

"Yes, well I regret it. I no longer want to be your teacher." 

"What?" she looks at him sadly.

"I no longer want to help you." he says.

"I was just about to forgive you for last season. I see you have changed very little since then." She says coldly. 

"Oh Pen. I just can't. I don't want to ruin you any further."

He walks to the door. She tries to hold in tears. Her hope of finding a match this season slowly being crushed.

"I suppose I shall grow into a spinster. Marriage is just not something someone like me can be blessed with." She whispers sadly.

Colin hears her. His hand on the doorknob. He is trying to find the strength to turn it. He just can't.

He turns back towards Pen. 

"Pen."

She looks up and says, "yes?"

"I wish you understood how utterly beautiful you are. I wish you knew that you don't have to seduce your way into a loveless marriage. I wish you knew how truly deserving you are of a love match." 

She is trying to hold her tears from spilling over but they come rushing down. 

He puts his arms around her and hugs her. She feels sad but also somehow peaceful all the same. 

"How am I suppose to believe and know all those things when all I've ever known is the disgust that men show for me. Even you." She says, the words muffled from her face being so close to Colin's chest.

He pulls away and looks at her. "Do you truly think I am disgusted by you?"

"The words you said last season. They lead me to believe so."

He shakes his head. "I was drunk and I didn't mean a word I said. I believe you know that deep down I didn't mean any of those words."

"Still. I'm an insipid wallflower. I saw a glimmer of hope tonight. Maybe thinking I might find myself married this season but just like all things I hope for, it was crushed."

"Pen. Just be yourself. You don't have to start off the conversation about weather. Interest him with things that bring you happiness. Like reading." Colin tries to help. 

Penelope looks up at him and say three words. 

"It is useless"

"I believe not. I love to listen to you talk. I also love when you are so intrigued by books. It's fun to see you so full of happiness."

"That is you. Not the rest of the ton. Why are you trying to help again? I believe I've come to the realization long ago that I would grow old by myself. I guess I just hold onto hope all to often. It's stupid and foolish of me. I'm done with that nonsense."

Colin watches as Penelope walks away and out of the study. 

She should have known better. She was so stupid to dream. Her mother always taught her that dreams were useless. 

---

Colin cannot believe he just crushed not only Pen's dreams of getting married but also his dreams of rekindling a friendship. He was so stupid. He just couldn't bare seeing Lord Debling and her dance. He couldn't bare how when Pen was talking, Debling kept looking at her bosom. What a rake. He doesn't want Pen to put all of her goods out there. He wants to keep her safe. He wants to help her but at the same time doesn't want her interacting with any other Lords. Once again he labels himself, extremely and superbly stupid.