The Stars In Your Eyes ✩ Tim Shepard

Dead Girl Walking

I was a dead girl walking. I didn't know how my mother knew, but she always found out everything in the end. She told me to be downstairs in ten minutes, I was down in five. My mother was one of those people that wanted everything on time or early. She was an extremely busy woman. And I mean so busy that I never saw her eat or even cook.

So, you could imagine my surprise when I hurried down the hall, adjusting my hair and flattening the collar of my dress just to be met with breakfast and tea.

"You like the green tea, right darling?" She said, setting a cup of it in front of me as I sat down. No, actually I liked chamomile, which she would know if she bothered to be a part of my life. But I could hardly tell her that.

"Yes." I smiled weakly, taking the mug and a sip of the tea. "So, what did we need to talk about?" I asked as innocently as I could.

Mom smiled, which was something she rarely did. It was terrifying. "Connie..." She said softly. "Your nineteenth birthday is in less than a month."

I quietly sighed in relief. Thank God, she didn't find out Tim was here last night. That being said, I didn't ask him to jump through my window. And wow, I'm surprised she remembered I even had a birthday.

"It's about time we discussed your party." The woman continued.

"Party?" I echoed.

"Yes, your party." She looked at me with those cold brown eyes of hers. She must have noticed the look on my face because she added, "Are you alright? It's not-"

"No, I'm fine," I said, cutting her off. "I just thought you were done with the whole birthday party thing after eighteen."

"Well, Connie, you're going to be nineteen." She said as if it was the most shocking thing in the world.

"I'm thinking, I invite a few of the young boys from work, and get some of my colleagues to interest their sons to come." She continued.

I nearly spit out my drink. "Wait, what?"

"Well, it's about time you start thinking about settling down." She said. My eyes widened, the last thing I wanted to do was "settle down" with anybody.

"Mom, I'm still going to college in the fall." I protested but I knew it would be no use, it was my mother's way or no way. I just thought she and I were on the same page about me going to college.

"Connie. I thought we already had this discussion. I want you to find a good man and settle down. Not focus on this silly dream of going to college." She said, narrowing her eyes.

I looked down. You couldn't argue with my mother. If she didn't want me to do something, then I wasn't to do it. Her rules were as simple as that. Only they weren't simple at all.

Not to mention, I had already broken her number one rule, don't fraternize with those lower than yourself. I broke that rule ten times over, going to visit Breanna on the east side. And I broke that rule when Tim was here last night. I broke her favorite rule one too many times, so what would be the issue with breaking her rule about me not going to college? I made up my mind then, that I would go for my happiness instead of doing everything she told me.

"Connie Marie." She said sternly, pulling me from my thoughts. "Am I understood?"

"Yes," I said, looking up at her. Her lips immediately pulled into a smile.

"Alright then. I'll start planning for your party. I was thinking gold?"

"You do whatever," I said quietly, jumping off the stool I was sitting on. "Thanks for the tea," I added before making a beeline for my room.

My door snapped shut behind me and I pressed my back to it, letting out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I didn't blame my mother for how she acted. She was raised with an iron fist and that was how she raised her children, But I was still upset. I knew I was going to turn against her, but who was she to dictate everything in my life? My birthday was hers, my relationships were hers, and my life was hers.

James and Megan had slipped by it all. James, being the oldest and the only boy had freedom neither Meg nor me ever tasted. And Magan was mom's favorite so she could do whatever. But I was the youngest, the last Marie child that had to burden her. I was basically her puppet. It made me sick, confused, and frustrated. I had always followed her rules (up until recently) and she hated me still.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I needed to clear my head. Pushing myself off the door, I went to my closet to get something more comfortable than a dress. I changed into jeans, a white blouse, and my usual uncomfortable flats before heading over to the window.

"Going somewhere, little sis?" Megan's voice suddenly said from behind me, making me freeze. If I wasn't a dead girl walking before, I was definitely one now. The only thing worse than my mother's wrath was my older sisters.

"Oh, hey Meg," I said, trying to play it off. "No, I was just looking out the window, unless that's illegal now."

"You know your right eye twitches when you lie right?" She said, crossing her arms.

My hand instinctively shot up to my eye, making her chuckle.

"Don't worry, I won't tell mom." She closed the door with her foot, before leaning against my desk.

I sighed. "Really?"

"Yeah. Just tell me where you were going." She shrugged.

"To clear my head," I said honestly.

Megan nodded, looking around my room. "Okay."

"Okay?" I repeated. "Just "okay", like that's it."
"Yep."

She nodded. "Unless there's something else you wanted to tell me."

"Like what?" I asked suspiciously. Megan never came into my room to just talk. Whenever she did, it was because she needed something.

"Connie, I'm your big sister." She walked up to me, putting her hands on my shoulders. "You know, you can talk to me, right?"

"I know," I said, trying to look her directly in the eye and not laugh or smile, or something dumb. Megan hummed, narrowing her golden brown eyes at me like mom always did.

"Okay." She said after a long minute, stepping away from me. "I'll leave you alone now." With that, she left, the door clicking closed behind her. I sighed, falling onto my bed, the thought of going outside long gone.