Lonely

Day 12

This is compilated. How am I supposed to use this if the string is ripped? It's worthless if I can't find a way to fix this. I always wanted to try using a bow ever since 9th grade when Todd's friend did archery at the school. He shot all perfectly, right in the bullseye. Even I asked to play with it. (Know it's not a toy). I knew he wouldn't give it to me since was "top class" but hey, had to give it a try. And now I can't use the damn thing. I can tie the string together if I remove it from the bow but in my mind, it will be short, so it won't fit in. It's like 4 inches. Pretty long. I thought of putting an extra string in to make it longer to fit in the bow. I got dental floss in my backpack. I grabbed it, ripping the lens out. I use half of it that day at the bar. I think it is enough to tie it. Wrapped around the floss to a knot on the string. I mess it up like 5 times. When I was done, I test it out on the bow. I remember how it put the string back. I think it was putting the string sitting on the limb and adjusting it. Just like that, it looks brand new. can't get to try it on, finally using one. There were only five arrows, so I need to be careful with them and hope they won't break. I go on an easy target of a tree. I put the arrow behind the string slowly and it hit me. That hurtled me like a damn venture, I almost hurled myself. I calm myself down and try it again.

I miss a dozen times already. I can't do this. I'm just terrible at this. I was ready to give up, but I think about my past. With Emma and me by Clark Lake where we were married next to the field next to it. It was the most beautiful moment in my life. Seeing that in my mind makes me miss home so much. Realized I need to do this to get back home. To hunt in survive in this hellhole, I tried it again, every single shot over again. I make a shot, but it wasn't good enough. I hit again. I started to the log and every shot. I was hoping I can hit the middle I put in. (it was a set of pillows.) I hold my breath, trying to concretely in aiming at the pillow. I hit it right in the middle. Complete bullseye. I shouted so loud. It felt so good. Finally got this right. I should've been in an archery class. I'm a master of this. I hit it three times right in the middle. And completely mess up the pillow. I am getting out of there. Might as well use it for something useful.