𝑊𝐴𝑁𝑇 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑆 (locke and key gabe)

16 rewritten

Will it be like dying?

I wondered again. It was all I could think of, even when Eden dragged Tyler's friend, Javi before me. Even when Javi screamed and kicked and thrashed and even when the key turned, I did not cry, I did not even consider attempting to help him.

Is it going to hurt?

Perhaps I was selfish, lost in my own mind whilst an innocent, kind boy howled and convulsed in pain, perhaps it made me a bad person. 

But the morals of my wandering mind weren't something to be concerned with. Not when I was savouring every last minute of humanity, of self-control.

I hope it's quick.

"Hit your head against the wall." I heard Gabes voice, distant, muffled, but still there. I heard the smashing of skull against brick. I felt Duncan's eyes on me.

Was that how I would live? A slave to Gabe's every desire? A pawn, a soldier, a meaningless, brainwashed weapon. 

"Stop."

The banging stilled. 

It scared me, the knowledge that magic was capable of stripping away someone's entire sense of self, or right or wrong, of even who they were.

"I'm so sorry," Duncan whispered to Javi. 

I wondered if some part of him understood what my uncle was saying, but I saw no hints of understanding in his expression. His gaze was vacant, blank, and his eyes were so dark they were almost black, yet what unnerved me the most was the fact that they did not reflect the light. Javi's eyes seemed to gobble it up, dark pooling hungry voids.

"You're free to go." Gabe nodded to Duncan, and I felt my chains retract until I was unbound. I lept to my feet, desperate to be home. To be away from him.

Only Gabe thrust out an arm, stopping me. 

"Not yet," He breathed. 

"I'm not leaving without her." Duncan said darkly,

"Please," I whispered to Gabe, "Please, let me go."

He only smirked. "Leave, or I'll have my new toy slit your throat." His voice was quietly venomous.

"Not without Avery." My uncle repeated,

"Javi," Gabe murmured. 

The boy approached him slowly, and my uncle began to back away, towards the door.

"Run, go!" I pleaded, "It's not worth it. I'll find you, I promise."

His eyes met mine. Hurt and guilt and hatred all swirling into one. Duncan dipped his chin, his eyes glassy with unfallen tears. And he ran. 

Javi followed him out of the door, and I prayed to whatever gods were real that my uncle would be okay.

Gabe seized me by the wrist, his grip so harsh I knew it would bruise. He dragged me outside, from the feeble warmth of the hut into the bitter cold of the woods.

"Where are we going?" I whispered, peering after Duncan. 

Gabe said nothing.

"Where are you taking me?" I repeated. Louder. Angrier.

"Home."

If his grip wouldn't have been so harsh, I'd' Ve stopped in my tracks. 

"What?"

"I don't want you to see it." He murmured. 

I knew what that meant. 

"Javi's going to-" To kill him. Funny, sweet, loving uncle Dunc, the closest thing to my dad I had left. He couldn't, he wouldn't be so utterly cruel-

"Why?" I choked out. "Why? After all of this? I told you I'll join you, I'll let you turn me, so why?" I was freezing. My teeth were chattering and my arms were shaking but my rage was so blinding-hot I could hardly feel the burn of the crisp snow or the icy air. 

"Because," He murmured, "There's more to this than me and you, Avery. Don't you understand? Everyone has a place, and a purpose. There are things that I have to do, that I don't want to, but I must. If I let him live he could undo all of this."

"You said you loved me," I cried, "If that were true then you wouldn't do this, no matter what stupid fucking obligation you think you have." It was a low blow, using his sick, twisted feelings, but it was all I had left. All I could do try to save Duncan, to do something right.

"Fuck, Avery. You're so naive." Gabe sighed, "It's not that simple, nothing is."

"Please," I cried, "He did nothing wrong," 

I felt something snap. A rage. A pent-up fury and sadness and fear that had lay dormant ever since that fateful day I held the lighter for a little too long. I was scared to be weak. Weak like I was with the shadow-soldiers, weak like I was with Sam, when I couldn't stop him from killing my dad, ruing my family, weak like I was with Gabe. Weak. Weak. Weak. I was afraid to be powerless, to be useless and pathetic and out of control. 

And last time I felt that way we lost our home, our life.

"It's a blessing and a curse, the fire in you." I remembered what my dad had once told me as he cleaned my burnt, bleeding wrists. "You'll always need something to burn."

And he knew, he knew better than anyone. He knew better than I did. 

"Call Javi back here." I tried pathetically, "Tell him, m-make him stop."

"Why should I? Duncan is the only one who can undo what he's made me, and that's not a risk I'm willing to take."

'If we never take risks, we never make progress.' I sucked in a sharp breath, this is one hell of a risk, dad.

"Not even for all the keys?"

Gabe stopped walking. His hand still gripped my wrist as he turned to face me, and in that moment, I realised that I was utterly alone with him. Miles away from anyone, from anything. If I screamed for help, no one would come. If I ran, I'd get nowhere.

He could have used the anywhere key to take me home in a matter of seconds, but no. He wanted to make me feel afraid, inferior. 

"What?" A small smirk tugged at his lips, and I knew that he was getting what he wanted. 

"All of them for my uncle. Alive."

"It's a deal." He said with an arched brow. "Bring them for me, tomorrow night."

I yanked my wrist from his grip, and Gabe made no efforts to stop me from doing so. He simply let out a low whistle and Javi came running at inhuman speed, like some sort of obedient little brainwashed pet. A slave to Gabe's every whim.

"It that what you want for me?" I asked. I knew I shouldn't ask. I knew I wouldn't like the answer. "This- this isn't about love, this is about you wanting to control me," 

"I wanted you to choose this, Avery, I never wanted to force you into it."

"Really?" I spat, "Because you constantly, constantly back me into corners and force me to make bargains and compromise myself, all because you think you love me."

"If I didn't, you'd already be dead." 

"And you suppose a life as your slave is better?"

Something in his Gaze darkened, but my attention was fixed on Javi's vacant stare, and I had never been more scared in my life.

"Take her to Key House." Gabe murmured, eyes still on me as he spoke.

The corner of his mouth curled into a small smirk as he watched me walk away, but I simply shifted my gaze straight ahead.

I didn't dare look back.