𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉ℯ𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓎 ℯ𝒾ℊ𝒽𝓉 | 𝒻ℴ𝓇ℊ𝒾𝓋ℯ,𝒻ℴ𝓇ℊ𝒾𝓋ℯ, 𝒻ℴ𝓇ℊ𝒾𝓋ℯ

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Sam's POV:

2 weeks ago...

She looks so beautiful... despite the cuts and bruises which crest on her fair skin, mixtures of purple and green splashes of colour on her plump apple cheeks. My body is trapped: curved against hers for an eternity, as of i'd want it to ever end anyway. Whilst slipping deeper into her bottomless slumber, small low breaths whistle through her cute button nose in a quiet smoothing melody, streams of dried tears visible on her cheeks. "Shhh, it's okay... i'm here now, Anna..." trying my best to soothe her racing heart, i allow my smallest finger to lightly trace the slope of her adorable nose, the action clearly relaxing every single one of her facial muscles, as well as other areas of her tensed body. Anna disturbingly stirs lightly in her sleep, her flaccid body twitching uncomfortably at the possible pain she feels in every twinge of it. To have seen Anna as this strong, 'unfuckable' representative woman for so so long now, witnessing her epic downfall after this tragic accident is a thing that aches my heart to the very core. No matter how many times i stare at her woeful expression, the struck feeling of welling up sadness never dulls down inside my chest, the rock hard sensation also steadying itself in the pit of my belly, even the strongest axe in the world unable to break its tough barrier down. "Oh, Anna... how on earth did we manage to get ourselves here? Many months ago, you came to me for a job and you left me with so much more, yet so much less..." observing closely, i notice how each virtue of her face is relaxed beneath my touch, just as i wish it was every night without fail. I thought the days where i'd dream of having Anna's body laid and crested in my arms were over the very minute i saw her disappear outside of my office, to never be seen by me again... and into that fucking car. They're deathtraps, those things. Nothing else can convince me otherwise. Those epitomes of death and doom cruelly ripped one of the most loved people in my life out of my arms, and they almost did the same damn thing 6 years later... "How will you ever forgive me, Anna? I... gave up on you... like you were nothing. You are anything but, Anna Schuyler. You are... brave, eccentric... stubborn, even bratty at times... not to mention how utterly gorgeous you are, but you knew that already, didn't you?" despite managing a private soft smile, i sigh at my mental disposal, stretching my body along the bed to relax my greatly aching joints, in a way that i hope doesn't disturb the peaceful redheaded woman's deep slumber to which she has transferred into beneath me. My anatomy adjusts to a relatively comfortable state, my mind however still jumbled with an array of overwhelming, unanalysed thoughts... "I'm ashamed of myself for how i've treated you... i'll never understand why you love me... but i don't care if i don't, as long as you understand why i love you... after all, how could i not?" i trace a finger to tuck a thick, auburn hair strand behind one of her ears, thinking deeply in a train of thought. Anna deserves so much better than me, an overly emotional widow with so much baggage, i come with a warning, even if that 'warning' didn't scare her off for whatever unholy reason. But... i know for a sure fact that if i told her this, she wouldn't care. At all. I can hear it in her voice now... 'I don't want better, Sam. I want you. When will you finally realise you're not this broken, damaged person?'... the soothing tones of her voice delivered to my ears would be so comforting right now, maybe even the grasp of her slender hand around mine, or her soft cute smile with her canine teeth poking out. "It's not fair that i'm so selfish for you when you're laying in this bed... your life inches away from being taken from you." i can't stay here... i just can't.

 i just can't

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