After We Were Friends

Chapter 27 - Hallie's Epilogue

Many say that your first love is the one that shows you life. They show you who you are and who you can become. My first love was Jessie. She always was. She showed me who I could be, in the face of all the struggles I was dealt. She showed me happiness in a world that was often filled with anger and malice. She showed me more than I think I could ever comprehend.

We stayed together for a few years. We won Champions League's together, FA Cups, and League titles. We moved in together, got a dog, and everything seemed as if it was going in the right direction. I thought that my first love would be my forever love.

But it wasn't.

It was neither of our fault. It was mutual. It was a mutual end to a rollercoaster of a relationship. She was everything I needed in those moments. But sometimes life gets in the way, and that's okay.

"I'm sorry," I said to Jessie, as we sat on the couch together a few days after my 24th birthday.

"It's okay," she replied. "I think we both know that it has been over for a while." I was holding our golden retriever, Tilly, in my arms, letting her soak up all my tears.

"Is this really the end?" I asked her.

"I think it is," she replied.

Jessie let me keep Tilly, which was something I was very grateful for. She was often my lifesaver, being there when I needed her most. Her infectious smile, and ability to know when I need a snuggle, always filled me with so much happiness. It always surprised me how my dog always knew when I needed her the most. Always helped me when I was at my weakest, and lowest.

A few years later, Jessie left Chelsea. She returned to North America, to be closer to family, and started playing in the NWSL. Although I would miss her, not as my girlfriend but rather just a friend, she knew a change was in order. It often is when one is in situations like these.

"Good luck," I said to Jessie, after her farewell dinner, with the rest of the Chelsea team.

"Thanks, Hallie," she responded, hugging me slightly. Although our era had ended long before, it was nice to have this last piece of closure. It was nice to say goodbye to her once more.

When I was 28, Leah retired. She hung up her boots, and set sail across the world. In those nine years, not much had changed for her. She had captained our team to many wins, and had been pivotal within the development of women's football. Saying goodbye to her was one of the hardest moments.

"You have years left," I said to Leah, as she told me privately that she was going to retire.

"Maybe, but it feels right," she responded.

"What are you going to do?" I asked her.

"Travel the world, maybe. See everything she wanted to see."

"Sounds amazing," I answered.

"I hope so," Leah responded.

"What's going to happen to the team?" I then asked.

"What do you mean?" Leah questioned.

"Well, you're our core."

"You'll find a new core," Leah responded and nodded my head. That could be true, and I was hoping it was going to happen.

There was a turning in the tide. There was a new generation coming in. Players like Lucy, Keira, and now Leah had all retired. They were gone. It was time for the new generation. Our generation.

A few days later, I was called into Sarina's office.

"Hallie, please sit," Sarina said to me.

"Everything alright?" I asked her.

"Yes, everything is great. Obviously, you have heard about Leah's retirement, right?" Sarina asked me.

"Yes."

"And that means we are in need of a new captain."

"Yes?" 

"Would you want to be the next captain?" Sarina asked. I was shocked. It was unexpected. I had never thought it possible to captain my country.

"Me?" I questioned.

"Yes, you."

"You sure?"

"Quite sure," Sarina laughed slightly.

"Really?"

"You have all the qualities the team needs in a leader. You are experienced, you are a team player, and you have a fight and spark. You would be the perfect new captain. Will you?" I looked at Sarina still in shock, but then I remembered what Leah said in an interview after she was announced as captain. She said that it wasn't even a question. It was an honour.

"Yes," I then said. "That would be an honour." Sarina smiled at me, pleased with herself for the choice she had made to ask me. 

When I first stepped onto the pitch, walking out the team I had always loved, I knew it was all going to work out. I had the captain band wrapped around my arm, and the cheering fans at Wembley stadium were pushing us all home. It was the perfect start to my captaincy. It was the perfect beginning to some of the best years of my life.

I led the Lionesses for six years, until I was the ripe age of 36. It was time for me then. I knew it was. I had been a professional for 17 years. I won a World Cup, a Euros, many cups and trophies for Chelsea, and so I knew it was time.

I always knew I was going to be a one club player. I was never going to leave Chelsea. It was my home. Always going to be.

When I became a professional player, I had a level of guilt within me. I had a feeling I was only there because someone else wasn't. I felt as if I wasn't worthy of what life had given me. I dealt with that feeling for a very long time. But after my 16 years, I soon realised that that wasn't the case. I did deserve to be there. I deserved having the medals around my neck, and the captain's band on my arm. There was always going to be a level of guilt, but that would soon fade. I knew it would.

Sometimes, when life gives you an unexpected opportunity, you have to take it and that I did. I took it. With two hands and an insane amount of courage. I was proud of that, and this was where life ended me up.

I went on to commentate for BBC, still having a large presence within the world of Football. Even if I did leave the sport, I knew it would never leave me. I would always have football cursing through my veins. It would always have a special place in my heart.

I did meet the love of my life. I did have my happily ever after. But, that is a long story, destined for another time.