The End

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My Goodbye to Hallie, Bradie, Ettie and Indi.

After I used to finish each of my stories, I would always say that 'I always have something coming'. Except this time, I don't. This is the end. The end of India Harrison, Bradie Van Dyk. Juliette Walsh and Hallie Mount. The end of a journey I didn't think was possible.

I first started writing Only Friends in my bedroom at my grandma's house (I know, slightly strange.) But I just had a spurt of inspiration. At first, it was nothing serious. It was just a silly, little fanfic about a make believe character and Jill Roord. It was cute, and fun, until I realised I wanted something more. I wanted to make it more than just a 'cute' love story. I wanted it to be deeper. I then had an idea about a girl who had been through so much. A girl who, despite all her struggles, continued to fight. A girl who took so much inspiration from my own experiences and hardships. I wrote her for me, and for you guys. I wrote her to show all of us that there is light, even if it is too dark that you cannot see it.

So, when I first uploaded Chapter 1 of Only Friends, I think it only had two votes and 20 views. But, I didn't care. I remember thinking 'Oh my god, 20 people have read this chapter. That's crazy'. But now, look at this. I still can't quite believe it.

India Harrison will always be a representation of myself, both how I saw myself in the past and what I want to be in the future. She showed me what I could become, and gave me hope in a world that was often filled with darkness. A little cringe, but also true. I remember thinking that if I only ever wrote this for myself, it would be enough. Because she changed me. It's weird, but she did.

Then came Ettie. Ettie taught me a lot about myself too. Not only did I try so hard with It's Our Secret to improve my writing, but I also had to try to depict death and conditions I wasn't too familiar with. It was difficult, but rewarding. Ettie's story is the most popular one, and I can understand why. It made us question life, and the reason as to why we are all here. For this, Ettie and It's Our Secret will always hold a special place in my heart.

Bradie was a fun one, that's for sure. I got to dive into a genre of mystery and suspense, something I hadn't done before. I still talked about the big problems but in a way that was more light hearted, and even though it wasn't the most popular, I still loved writing about Bradie, and remembering her story, just as much as Indi and Ettie's.

When I had completed Little Do They Know, I knew it still wasn't the end. I wanted to show what life was like after Ettie's death, and the reactions that came after. I wanted to show how each person dealt with the grief, and additionally, how Bradie released the letters to each of the people they were intended for. I put a lot of effort into After We Were Friends, and wrote a lot. And I mean a lot. But it was fun, and rewarding.

But here we are. We're at the end. There is nothing else coming, at least for a while. It's time I 'hang up my boots' and let these stories settle. Let them find their readers.

Over the past 1.5 years, I have received a lot of love, from all of you guys. I have received messages telling me how these stories have helped them, and I've made a few friends along the way. I never thought that would be possible, especially as I didn't even think I would upload Chapter 1 of Only Friends to begin with. Thank my impulsiveness for that one.

But boy, I'm glad I did. This experience, although a little stressful at times, was worth it. Even though I would spend, at minimum, 2 hours a night in front of my laptop when I was supposed to be sleeping or studying for exams, I still did it, and I did it cause I enjoyed it.

Whether you were one of the first 20 to read Chapter 1, or whether you came in the mayhem that was the Leah Williamson post-Euros obsession, or whether you found my stories by mistake but just enjoyed them, I'm glad you all are here. Whether you comment, vote or just simply read these stories, I really do love you all. You're the only people in this world who have read my writing, and so there is a lot of metaphorical trust between us (lol) and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I want to leave you all with one final thing. One final piece of advice, if you will. If I have learnt anything about writing about these characters, and their journeys, it's that everyone you meet is fighting a battle. Everyone you see has their own internal struggles. So, be kind. Be genuine. And be good.

Even though I won't be posting chapters, I'll still be online a little bit, so I'm always here for message conversations and fun comment sprees. But, no writing from me. Not for a while, at least.

That's all.

This is it.

Goodbye.

Syd xx

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