This Some Funny Ish

Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen

WORK RULES:

1. SICKNESS: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

2. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION: We are no longer allowing this practice. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed certainly makes you less than we bargained for.

3. DEATH-YOUR OWN: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at least two week's notice as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.

4. QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do, you will never do enough.

5. QUALITY OF WORK: The minimum acceptance level is perfection.

6. ADVICE FROM THE BOSS: Eat a live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

7. THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

8. IN THE CASE THAT THE BOSS IS WRONG, REFER TO RULE 7.