At the Park Bench

Chapter 3: News from Wisconsin

Friday, August 15

After I got home from the sleepover I couldn’t stop thinking about Noah and about my conversation with Ally. I know the message Ally is giving me and it’s “stay away from Noah”. Ally’s really nice and I don’t want to lose my first friend in a new state after some crush I had two years ago and have totally forgotten about. It’s probably best to not talk to Noah much right now until I know that I have Ally’s trust because right now I don’t think I’m on the right side of her trust scale.

I’ve talked with Jess all day as I relaxed at home alone while my dad was at work. She emailed me and I emailed back so it was going back and forth like that. Then we decided to Skype which felt like eternity till we both had to leave. I told her everything that’s happened so far and how I saw Noah again. 

“I don’t think I ever mentioned a guy by the name of Noah have I? Because we both know how much better your memory is from mine.” I stated factually.

“No I don’t recall you telling me about anyone by that name.” Jess said trying to sound sophisticated.

“What’s up with trying to sound professional?”  I laughed.

“I need to enhance my vocabulary.” She replied but laughed as well. 

“Well it doesn’t work for you and it bothers me so don’t practice with me. Try it out with your mom then she’ll be impressed of how smart you are.”

“I did and she didn’t like it either. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I said a word that did not mean what I thought it meant.” She informed me innocently. 

“Then maybe you should study some more before you start talking to adults.”

“Ok enough of me embarrassing myself let’s get back to the subject in question, who is this Noah you speak of?”

“Well I used to go to junior high with him back in Minnesota.” I paused and waited for her response.

“And…” she said as she waited for me to say more.

“And I met him again here when Ally introduced me to all her friends.”

“You better not be replacing me with this Ally girl you keep talking to me about.”

“Never how could anyone ever replace you. If I ever meet anyone like you again I would die.” I laughed.

“Hey what’s that supposed to mean?” she crossed her arms and waited for an answer.

“Nothing your just one of a kind with your crazy personality. I just don’t think I could handle two Jess-es.”

“Nice save but I'll let it slide since you were complimenting me. So did you use to like this Noah?”

I shrugged. “Yeah back then I guess.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

“I don’t know. He’s Ally’s boyfriend so it’s better to stay away for now till I gain her trust since she already thought we had something back then.”

“Do what you think is best and since you just got there I don’t think stealing someone’s boyfriend is the best way to go.”

“I hear you since I wouldn’t want to be the one getting her boyfriend stolen from. So how are you and Jack doing?”

 “To tell you the truth Abbs my relationship with Jack isn’t going so well. We had it all. We used to be together all the time and now he hardly even talks to me.”

“Well maybe you guys need some time to yourselves. He probably has other things going on.”

“I know and I’m worried. In the beginning of the summer he told me how his mom is always at work and his dad comes home late and drunk. Don’t you remember how he got arrested for selling drugs well what if he’s out doing something stupid like that again?” she told me worriedly.

“Maybe you should go see him and get him to tell you what’s going on. He’s probably going through something and needs someone to talk to. Especially with the kind of family he has to deal with. There was never anybody there for him but he found someone and that’s you.”

“You’re right I’ll go over there tomorrow and see what he tells me. You always give the best advice Abbs, why did you have to leave? I miss you.” She said sadly. 

“I know I miss you too. Hopefully next summer you can come over and visit. Don’t forget about our road trip after graduation.” I reminded. 

“Of course how could I forget? You’re starting to forget about me already aren’t you?” she asked sarcastically. 

I laughed. “Shut up. I’ll talk to you soon my dad’s almost home. Bye.” 

“Bye.” She waved and I waved back then I ended the call.

 When my dad got home from work we made dinner together. My dad and I love to cook. I’ve been helping my dad cook since I knew how to get up on the table. Sometimes we like to experiment and make our recipes or sometimes we find recipes online that look delicious enough to try. When I know my dad is working late I’ll surprise him with dinner. Cooking with my dad helps us bond and is just something we love doing together. It helps me forget about everything I’ve had going on throughout the day and focus on what I’m doing. My dad and I have some funny conversations or sometimes I just let him vent out how his day at work was until he asks me how my day was then it’s my turn to vent. He even asks me about boys (sometimes) which I know is my dad’s most touchy subject and probably every dads too. Let’s face it whose dad wants to see his little girl grow up.

 Saturday, August 16

When my dad told me that Jess was calling I ran for the phone. I couldn’t really get much of what she was saying because she was crying so hard. I tried to calm her down so I could understand what she was saying and eventually I pieced her words together. Jack Baker had killed himself. Then I couldn’t help but cry too.

Sunday, August 17 

I didn’t do anything yesterday. I just couldn’t. After I hung up on Jess since I couldn’t understand was she was saying. I was in my room for the whole day and I guess I eventually fell asleep at some point. My dad probably came in to check on me because there was a blanket over me. When I woke up at around nine at night my dad came in.

“What did Jess tell you that made you so upset?” he asked me.

I didn’t know what to tell him. How could you tell your father that something like that happened to someone their daughter was friends with? But I knew he wouldn’t leave till I told him what happened.

“It didn’t just make me upset Jess was even more upset I could hardly understand what she was trying to tell me that’s how upset she was.” I didn’t want to blurt it out so I decided to ease him into it and I asked, “Do remember Jack dad?”

“That handsome young man you brought over one time with Jess?”

“Yes that was him he was her boyfriend.” I said trying to hold back the tears.

“Did they break up?”My dad asked confused.

“No. But they’re not together…” I just couldn’t hold them back any longer and I started crying again.

“What happened?”He asked as he came closer comforting me.

“He’s dead. He’s dead dad. Can you believe that? One day they seem like everything makes them happy and the next they’re gone.” I said one word at a time in between cries.

My dad was traumatized. He didn’t know what to say. I didn’t blame him how could he find something to say after I told him something like that.

“Do you know why?” he finally managed to croak out after a long silence.

“No I don’t. I couldn’t understand what Jess was saying and that’s the only part I heard.”

We didn’t say anything after that. My dad lied down next to me and held me tight like he was never going to let go. I thought about my dad and me. I mean everything to my dad. That’s the reason we move all time so he can keep providing for me. My dad could have done anything with his life if I was never born but I was. And what if I was here one day and gone the next. My dad would wonder about what he did wrong. I could never just leave him because I don’t have a reason to. But now I was wondering what Jack’s reason had been?

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Photo of Noah and Ally on the right.