cameras and memories | dream

026 ; shit, it happened again.

"wait dude, she slept over?" a muffled voice spoke. shit did i?

"she just fell asleep, i need to drop her home soon." i knew that voice, i knew that voice from a mile away. I roll over "but like in you're bed?" another voice spoke up. shit. that wasn't his siblings.

I immediately sit up and see them standing at the edge of the bed, casually glancing at me before looking at each other. "Clay" was the first word that had come out of my mouth, his eyes met mine and I yawn "morning guys" stretching my arms out "morning" george and nick respond.

"sorry, i fell asleep. I was gonna go home-" "no it's fine y/n, you know you can stay." Clay said giving me a soft smile, I smile back to him but that was quickly ruined when Nick cleared his throat "i'm gonna walk home" I quickly say to ease the weird tension between the four of us "no you don't have to, i can drop you." he says.

He rushes Nick and George out of his room to talk to me in private, he tosses me some more of his clothes "here, shower into these and then i'll drop you." he says and I shake my head "do you know how much of your wardrobe I have now?" I ask him "i don't see the problem." he says.

I walk up to him, getting off his bed and stopping right infront of him "maybe stay for a little while longer, after you shower." he said quietly. Our faces were inches apart, his eyes were rested on my lips and mine were rested on his  Fuck it.

I grab the hem of his shirt, pulling him towards me and smashing his lips onto mine. He was shocked to say the least, safe to say that no one has done that to him.

I let go of his shirt and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him more deeply, more passionately. He places his hands on my waist pulling me closer. I pull away trying to catch my breath "kiss me like that again and i'll never let you go" he says breathless, I just give him a simple smile.

What had gotten into me for me to do that? I don't know. I think I may just have a minor crush on Clayton.

I walk out of the shower, drying my hair with a towel. Nick and George were sat in the living room talking to each other about something so it would be easy for me to sneak past them into Clay's room. 

Opening Clay's door slightly, I see him on his bed scrolling through what must have been his instagram feed. Still drying my hair with a towel I look at him "aren't these a bit bigger?" I ask him, he looks up and without saying anything his jaw drops. "what? what's the problem." I ask him concerned about how I look "no, nothing. i just think... wow." he was speechless.

"im wearing you're clothes its nothing new." my cheeks had turned red. 

i think i do like him. i just hate the fact that its him out of all the boys.

"no girl ever wears my clothes" he whispers standing up from his bed walking over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. This is confusing.

One minute I hate him, I love him and then I hate him again and now I like him. Why can't I make up my mind. "Clay" I whisper to him, he just hums indicating that he was listening. I take a step back from him, his arms slip off my waist "we can't keep doing this." i say quietly and he gives me a good look "what?" "kissing, hanging out. i mean what even are we?" I ask him.

"friends?" he says but i know that he didn't mean that. "but we aren't just friends." i say to him and he just nods "labels are too difficult y/n i-" "i know but i need to know that this, you and i, are going somewhere." i breathe out.

I was nervous, for once I was anxious about talking to him. "because you know me and my taste in men isn't great..." he laughs at me "i know" he grabs my arms softly rubbing them, trying to reassure me by looking me in my eyes.

"you and i are special. we're different." he smiles "different as in?" I ask him. He answers without hesitation "we fight, we make up, we fight again but we make out. it's like a cycle almost, but its a cycle thats been going on for almost a decade. we're different because we always come back to each other, sure its not in the best of ways but nobody understands it like we do, its an unspoken thing." he smiles softly and I blush... just slightly trying not to let him get the best of me.

"its toxic." i laugh softly "well i've seen other types of toxic, this isn't that bad." he says "so no label, but definitely a thing?" I ask him and he nods "good" "perfect"

I hate the fact that the only person I can genuinely be myself around is the one person I swore to hate for the rest of my life. I also hate the fact that even though he caused the worst memory of my life, he also caused some of the best moments including the good memory of our photography board. It was a weird chemistry.