Better Man

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"You deserve a good man. Who tells you he cares. Who listens when you speak. Who chooses you above the rest"

-Mark Anthony Poet

-Mark Anthony Poet

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(Y/N P.O.V)

Why!? Why did I love you in the first place!? When all you could think about is money! You think that I'm only with you because of your money! Who do you think I am?! A GOLD DIGGER!

Why did I fall for a man who will never knew the love I gave to him? Why can't you see I don't want your dirty money!? What I truly wanted was your time and love, but I will never get it because you will never know what you just lost.

Of course there were some times when you would actually show affect. When you become the man I have loved. You would actual take me on dates. Sure you will take me somewhere expensive, but I'll always persuade you into not taking me there instead going to a simple ice cream or arcade date. These memories are memories I cherish because those were the times that I actually felt happy and I hope you did too, but now I can only think that maybe you faked that happiness.

These happy memories are now damaging me. Thinking over and over whether you meant you're happiness or was just doing what I wanted to do just to show that you still 'love' me. I hate that! So much that I can never forget it because I just loved you'd, but at last this felt like a one-sided love to me.

I remember one night I was standing in front of my bedroom mirror. I had leggings and large light purple sweater on. I looked at the time on my phone and it was 4 a.m. Why was I still awake looking at the mirror? "Man I'm a mess". I said while fixing my hair a little.

While looking in the mirror I can only see myself and do you want to know who I saw next to me?

You

The one I had fallen in love with. The one who actually loved me then the you now. You wrapped your arms around my waist pulling me closer to you. I can feel your warmth the warmth I craved. The warmth I longed for whenever I wanted to hug you. You lean closer to my neck. Putting your lips on my neck, but I pushed you away because it was all my imagination. "No! This is not real, this is all fake he will never be this intimate with me". I said while crying.

You would also yell at me when I didn't want to go on a date with you. Do you want to know why I will decline? It is because I was tired from work. You will also not let me use your money, like I need it, I make my own money anyway, to buy what I 'want'.

As I was looking at the mirror I put my hand on the mirror while tears ran down my face. "You had to do it. You had to end it with him. He didn't love you. You had to do it. What you did was the bravest thing you ever did in your life". I told myself.

There are times when I can't sleep and this is because I can still feel you and your warmth in my body. Oh how I missed your hugs and the simple kisses on the cheek. I really miss you Kokonoi. I really miss you so badly that I can still feel that warmth in the fucking middle of the night.

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