The Glass Princess: True To Yourself

Chapter 3 Longer than once thought

Chapter 3 Longer than once thought

My eyes darted back and forth between the first page that clearly dates when I wrote this and the page that proceeds it... did I know that long ago....

My thoughts raced faster than I could process. So many instances of childhood reassessed. Forgotten memories, now able to be remembered even if a bit foggy. It was.. Surreal. Confronting but also comforting.

If I filmed that video with Naomi when I was about 8 and I wrote this at age 11 at the latest.... I might have found a rough estimate to when I figured myself out

Suddenly a quick mental image plays.. A younger me... like 4 or 5 years old... holding a red dress in a bathroom... the memory was rapid and fast....the sound of a car pulling up... my younger self panicked, the dress was dropped and I exited the bathroom as soon as possible....

I heavily exhale and look up. I smile while closing the small secret agent notebook, placing it near the camcorder so it's always in view. I look to my side and Naomi approaches holding a Pizza box smiling brightly. "Pizza is here Princess" Naomi says happily as she hands the warm box to me. She walks over to the table opening her own box. I walk over and sit down across the table from her like we always did so we could face eachother. Upon sitting down, I look at the window, the reflection and lighting worked in such a way that I could see my current self and Naomi sitting together. A wave of positive but overwhelming emotions washed over me, after thinking so heavily about previous events just seeing me as a girl... with Naomi... made me cry tears of joy. Naomi noticed my rush of emotions and gave me a look of concern. "Emily, are you okay?" Naomi askes. I hold up a slice of pizza and nod sincerely while looking into Naomi's eyes.

"Its just..... Even when bad stuff happens... even when bad thoughts happen.... At the end of the day, I get to spend more time with you" I explained while wiping tears inbetween sentences. "Emily.." Naomi replies smiling softly, she reaches and holds my left hand. "I love you a lot, I'm glad I can be here when things don't go how you would like... and I'm glad you are here when things don't go how I would like, I love you" Naomi replies with an endearing smile that made my heart race. We began eating our pizzas, glancing at each other and giggling happily. "Sooo is there something you wanna tell me about?" Naomi askes politely. "Oh um... why?" I reply happily but with a touch of nervousness. "You placed a little book near the video camera and well, you looked really happy reading it? You don't have to tell me but I just... was happy to see you happy" Naomi explains. After I finished a fairly big pizza slice I ready myself. "Sooo I found a little book.... And I wrote this when I was either as early as age 5 and as late as age 11. But I am guessing I wrote this around age 8 to 11 ish" I reply happily. "What is in this book then princess" Naomi askes curiously holding the Pizza in suspense. "It read... I wish I was a girl" I explained. "Whoa like... you knew then.... Wow.... that's a discovery.... Granted you are the same girl that wanted to play as the princess in our video when you were like 8 so... its def possible" Naomi replies happily. "So how did you know when you wrote it? Does it have a date on it?" Naomi askes. "I uh... wrote all my crushes in the book too.... But I met a boy I dated when I was 12 but he is not on this crushes list..... You are written in the book though" I reply a little nervously but add a little smile at the end looking into Naomi's eyes.

"You know... when a memory, lies dormant for years but suddenly becomes clear, Emily" Naomi askes as she blushes. "Yes I do... did one pop up?" I asked. Naomi smirks while looking at the ceiling, exhales and looks back at me. "Remember when I told the teacher of our kindergarten class that I could only hold your hand when walking to school assembly. I protested and argued with a teacher to explain why my hands could only hold yours... So.... I guess we learnt 2 things today... That you knew you were trans earlier than you thought and secondly, that we've loved each other longer than we once thought" Naomi replies holding my hand tightly. I was speechless, her words got my heart beating even faster, my face was radiating more heat than the pizza in front of me. "So that would mean ,Emily. That my little kindergarten crush, turned out to be my princess and my true love" Naomi says softly. I quickly exhale and cover my mouth with my right hand. Naomi knows I'm getting flustered and she is playing to her romantic strengths. "I I ...I... l..." I tried to reply, but she blue screened my brain in that moment.

"I love you so much" I said softly

Once we finish our pizza we both get up at the same time and place the pizza box in the bin to keep the house clean. Naomi exhales and looks into my eyes. Her eyebrows raise along with a sincere smile. "Hey um... thanks for being there today when well... my ex showed up suddenly" Naomi explains softly. "I'm glad I could help... even if in little ways" I reply hoping I say the right thing. I've rarely been in situations where Naomi needed my help for comfort, but hopefully I get better at being there for her.

I hold her hand and give her direct eye contact. "I don't know much about your ex, but what I do know is you are a wonderful woman and I want you to know everythings going to be okay" I reply in an attempt to sound reassuring in the way Naomi often does. "Thanks Emily.. Means a lot" Naomi replies as she leans in to kiss me. We make our way towards Naomi's bed... well I suppose our bed now? Once we get there we slowly enter the bed. Both of us on our sides, eyes locked as we move the blanket to cover both of us. A plushie rolls inbetween us and we both giggle. "It isn't Emily's bed without a rolling plushie wanting to party" Naomi replied softly giggling a little under her breath. "You get use to it" I reply giggling back. Naomi kisses me on the forehead then smiles. "I already have princess" Naomi whispers tenderly. Naomi holds my hands softly smiling. "Together forever" Naomi says softly. "Together forever" I reply getting a little emotional as I lean in so my head rests beneth her neck, spoon'd in and safe. "I feel... so safe" I explain in a soft whisper. "Its so quiet here....... No distant sounds of the tv playing crime shows... no violent sound effects....... No awkward conversations when I step out of bed tomorrow.... I feel so safe" I continue beginning to lightly cry from happiness. Naomi takes a moment to think, then pulls me in closer. "You feeling safe.. Makes me so happy.... I'd um... get worried when you slept at your old home, I checked in on you a lot these past few months... I know how things with you living environment were..... Your mum seems to be improving a lot at least." Naomi replies softly. "I miss some parts of my little castle in a way..... My old room was my room all my life till now...... and my mum has become wonderful, I'm meeting up with her this weekend which will be fun" I explain softly.

"How do you feel here?" Naomi askes with a slight nervous air in her breath. "I love being here already" I reply happily while holding Naomi's hand a little tighter. "I'm a little scared of tomorrow... university classes seem like they'll be a bit tough...... but you'll be there so I feel less scared of tomorrow" I explain. "Well... I'm here to support you Emily... You are very determined I know you'll adapt to your classes, you are wonderful. Cutest girl in school too" Naomi explains with a slight giggle at the end. "Well, you are the coolest girl in school then..... I know your ex will make things tough but we are going to make new friends and also be together" I explain. Naomi begins lightly brushing her fingers through my hair. "Thanks Emily, I feel safe too" Naomi explains softly. "The Princess is there for her knight, now that's the ruler I fell in love with" Naomi whispered happily. "The princess and her knight are an unstoppable team that will overcome all challenges" I whisper as I begin to yawn. "Princess, I think its time you went to sleep" Naomi replies giggling. "But I want to keep talking" I reply, instantly reflecting on how kiddish I probs sounded. "Unlike a texting session, there isn't a goodbye I am here to cuddle alllll night princess" Naomi whispers. "I'd... like cuddles all night" I whisper as I position myself in Naomi's arms to fall asleep. She holds me tight. I drift off to sleep and felt happy beyond what I could ever describe.